While I am so very thankful for all that I have and for my family, I do get sad and overwhelmed at times. Life here is just so crazy and theres just so little time to kick back and enjoy family and friends, socialize etc. 60 hour workweek for the hubby is the norm, houses here are so small, its impossibly expensive to hire help with house. Its a major thing for me to even plan something as simple as taking a shower since I’m alone in the house with 3 littles. I think life would be so much nicer over in Pak where if the hubby has a good job, then a big house with hired help and much family so close-by is almost a guaranteed thing to be able to afford. Life is slower, workweeks are much shorter…theres time to smell the roses and enjoy. I dont want to seem like I’m complaining because we do have abundance and I realize/appreciate that…but…
I know another couple…close to us. They have this situation in Pak yet they want to have ours - life in the USA, lots of good shopping, really good job opportunities and big salaries. I am biased I know…but the way I see it…they have a cook, a driver, housecleaners,close family both in their house and the one next door (built-in babysitters and company!). They’ve lived such a laid back and lovely life (as I see it lol!) that I really think they wont like what they find here. The isolation alone is such a drastic change and one that I see as negative.
I’m sure the first question will be well, why dont you just go over there Mo3? The answer is that my eldest boy has some troubles that we can address here in USA but would not be able to over there. Kids come first always. Maybe one day he will be ready but for now its not an option. Anyway…what I’m wondering is whether maybe I’m kidding myself - just because the grass SEEMS greener. To the others that we know, OUR grass is greener to them! How do you people see things? Greener grass always somewhere else?
it is. although pakistanis that are relatively well off and affluent prefer to live in pakistan where aunties get to socialize, uncles can play golf, meet in creek club every weekend, get hired help to do all chores and cooking, and vacation frequently.
I strongly think pakistan is a great place for those that are relatively well off and can afford the luxe lifestyle (at a much cheaper cost than it would cost them to live the same lifestyle in the USA)
but then there are those living in pakistan that dream of living in the US all their lives...
however, most of my aunties ran back to pakistan when they saw you had to do your own laundry here.
rotfl shweetz! i can truly understand that! I mean, all 3 boys recently shared a stomach virus. You cant begin to imagine....between taking care of the poor little sickies and the ever-growing "Laundry Mountain", omg, I'd go over there in a heartbeat if i could! The boys got better one week ago and I just yesterday conquered Laundry Mountain - beat it back to hilltop size.
lolz why dont u smuggle someone in from pakistan? give them a visa and they'll gladly work for u for dollars :) just make sure they dont know how to get to a bus station, police station, embassy etc etc...and get a rope to tie them just in case.
Mamaof3: recently my brother & bhabi came back to US after a month long visit to Pakistan. They told me really in 99% of the conversions people asked them what is the easiest way to get to USA. Although I have two female cousins who visited last year and ran away in a months time back home because they could not touch the trash bag & could not believe that men get to clean their own car when they are so filthy with snow & salt
because it is human nature, without this interest for new thing and experiences that we expect to be more profitable to us, we, humans, would never have conquered the whole world, dompted fire, and went to the Moon!
...yes but those "red" states are those that consist of bible-thumping christians who dont appreciate those of other faiths in their midst!! my mom and dad had my sister in one of those states....they were christian but of different denomination than their neighbors and so were outcasts....imagine being not only different denomination but different faith altogether lol!! no i dont want to imagine that! WHen they moved in, all the neighbors within a 5-block radius knocked on their door with food....and a question - so what CHURCH will you attend??? when my mom gave birth to my sister, this priest person actually came to her bedside asking her if she wanted to "confess". OMG COnFESS???? to WHAT???? Having sex with hubby? Giving birth?? Kicking hubby in the (censored) for birth pains?? ah well. red states are kinda not my "thang" just because of the bad experience within the family - they're prob not all like that but I'm sure it would be hard to tell before you actually made the "big move" yeah?
I agree that it's human nature to want what you can't have. I think we always assume that someone else has it better than us. But I try to tell myself that the things we experience in life are a trial for us, to learn and to become better people. Still we all strive for a more comfortable life. I can relate to the isolation of a big city and wanting family around. We lived in NY for 5 years and it was great except when Safia came along things got a little trickier. We were in a 300 sq ft. studio apt., my husband was a surgical resident who worked over 100 hours a week. It was like being a single parent most of the time. But I made some friends and set up playdates for Safia. I was always torn between doing all my work (laundry, dishes, cleaning etc) or taking Safia out somewhere fun. I usually took her out. My friends had maids and i often thought how easy everything must be for them. They'd call me up and be able to leave their homes at a moments notice. Meanwhile I had work piled up in every corner. But I quickly learned to juggle all my responsibilities. My husband even pitched in! He's such a sweety. He started telling people that I worked harder than him and he couldn't do what I do all day. Well we were both running on 3 hours of sleep a night. But because of our situation both my husband and I learned our strengths and we helped eachother.
Thank God those days are over now. But if we hadn't gone through that I wouldn't have been the same person. I have a greater appreciation of how hard a man works for his family, the value of money, the deep love of a child and mother. As Muslims we're told to look to those who have less than you, not those who have more. Even though we lived paycheck to paycheck in the UES in a studio apt., I'd walk out the door and I'd see the same homeless people sitting in front of Starbucks everyday for 5 years. They probably thought I had it made to live there and I guess I did.
...and to CD, it starts like a bad cold then they develop a scary fever (loke 103.5!!!) THen its like a really bad cold (cough, runny nose, fever) along with stomach virus - vomiting etc. For 12 days!!! ack. viruses are getting more virulent and nasty these days and once its in your area, anyone under the age of 5 is going to get it. In a way, its a good thing, their immune systems will get strong because of these viruses but its hell when they're sick.
