Every culture and custom comes with its own set of pbanes and blessings. Like it may be very easy in Oakistan to hire a domestic help, but, getting things done outside home is harder etc.
Same goes for marriage process. While fully acknowledging the issues with desi matchmaking, the western way has its own challenges as well. At times people complaining forget about those. One being a girl will sleep with a man for months, blowing him , before he even considers proposing her. I know quite a few eligible bachelors who keep on dating and they have no intention to settle. Many women they date are looking for a long term relationship, yet, they can?t ask upfront. And breaking off is easy on pretext that she is becoming clingy.
The irony of western culture is…marriage laws being the way they are…gives women custody of the children and half of the assets in divorce. Most eligible bachelors that I’ve talked to..say the same thing as well. Laws favor the women..Really no point in getting married, when you can date and have sex with multiple women at a time. If one doesn’t want to continue he drops her and finds another women and continues juggling multiple women. And women being hypergamous in nature go after those males who they think can provide or have good genetics for their children. In the end it doesn’t matter if she’s giving the goods, cause she has to compete with another girl who is willing to give up the goods too. It’s a zero sum game…
With desi culture its hypergamy is more prevalent and outward…girls and their families prioritizing marrying the dr, lawyer, engineer, entrepreneur… and similarly guys will look if a girl is passed 27 aka she’s passed her prime or if she’s hot or not..skin color etc… and if she’s been married before or if the guys been married before they are considered damaged goods. Combined that with women who are going to college more than men, and willing to marry someone whose not college educated or as the same status as them you have the marriage crisis that is currently going on.
Of course all of this is generalizations but I agree…positive and negatives to both cultures… the question is..which one would you prefer to play?
