Is very common in desi culture for grand parents to be taking care of grand kids. At times its the chidren pressuring them to into it and at times grand parents themselves want to be involved in lifes of their grand kids. But most desi parents want to use their parents for baby sitting but do not involve grand parents in decision making with regard to their kids. Is it it fair?
It is unfair for a person to depend on the grandparents as the sole source of babysitting. It can be tough for them to keep up with an active toddler, or they may have very different ideas about safety, so conflict can frequently arise. The parents may also have things that they would rather be doing.
One of my daughters has severe food allergies, so I rarely leave her with anyone who is not CPR certified and has a good understanding of her needs. Older desis in particular don't believe in food allergies, and like to feed her foods that she is allergic to in order to "cure" her.
I am not sure that involving grandparents in the decisions about raising the grandchildren has anything to do with whether or not they babysit. If the advice is sound, take it, if it is not, ignore it.
What bothers me the most is the assumption and attitude that there are no boundries between parents and kids relationship. And if any party be it the parent or the child set any rules it is seen as a "selfish" act. Pakistani girls always think that their Meeka is their fall back plan for every situation.
Re: Grand Parents Babysitting
i have personally seen my neighbour hand her kids to her mother every sunday night, and then picks her kid up on friday, cos she works weekdays and cant look after her. and then when he rmum mentioned to her some ideas for her kids 1st bday party, the daughter ignored her and said mum what do u know shes my daughter i know best..
im just the neighbour and even i was pi**sed off for days at hearing that....
Re: Grand Parents Babysitting
So it didn't move.
Re: Grand Parents Babysitting
We used to live in the same house as out grandparents till I was 6, when my mother was at work helping my father, my daddi was walking me to school. When my mother was cooking food for 13 people, my daddi was the one feeding me with her hands. I wouldnt call it babysitting though.
However, once we moved out and as we grew older, each one of my siblings and I have taken it in turns to live with our grandparents to help look after them. In fact, two of my siblings still live with them, and they actually care for them much more so than my grandparents daughter in laws and sons. These are my dads parents.
I don't think I would be anything without my grandparents. They don't 'control' us, but do suggest ways in which we should live our lives, however, if we don't follow their 'suggestions' they are still there for us no matter what, as we are there for them.
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I lived with my daadi till I was about 4 years old. She has always had quite an impact upon the family and has always been an assertive, authoritarian figure. However, in hindsight, she did a very good job with her children and grandchildren. My grandad passed away before I was born and having just moved to England, it was not an easy feat for her and if anything my parents encouraged us to stay with my daadi when we were younger.
In fact it was the opposite in our household. My daadi did not babysit us as such but was their to make decisions and help in our upbringing- instilling values, beliefs and religious importance was always encouraged.
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Grandparents are awesome and should be a part of every child's life. They should not be the baby sitters though and shouldnt be depended on without giving them anything in return. If you expect them to raise your kids then make sure you give them the proper respect!
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Oh Milly i would love to live in such loving environment. My grandfather passed away before my parents got married therefore, i never got to see his love but my grandma (May she be in peace) didn't like girls (though she loved her daughter) especially me and my sister. She never liked my mother or any of us so i never remember her being kind to us. However, she used to love my brother. She would give him lots of candies and at times would give him her food too but sadly, She was never loving towards me and my sister, Now that i am grownup i wish she was still alive so I would really take of her and make her love us too. :(
Sorry, Icon bahi i know my post doesn't answer you inital question but i had to ..you know