Good Parenting

[khattichic]

Re: Good Parenting

what you just said makes too much sense moodie…rehnay do

[devilish_angel]

Re: Good Parenting

@mirage

A two year old doesnt come under a category where the behaviour can be controlled, (I hope now this doesnt trigger another argument coz some people just love to argue and beat others for the sake of it, phew) AND I very much agree that phases pass. But if a six year old is pulling his mom’s hair and slapping her and telling her “main apki watt laga donga”, in front of me, it be our very first meeting, I will definitely wonder if this is the way of speaking to parents. And that DOES look bad tameez. Honestly I am not sure who is to blame more, the class mates, siblings or parents themselves. Not all six year olds use such a language to their parents. Do they? I am NOT necessarily assuming that every child or my children will grow this way, but definitely no parent wants this to happen to them. I think achay bachay differ from bad tameez bachay, and there must be some reason they do. Some line to draw. When I said “wise” parents, (Khatti I just put inverted commas on my own word here, am I digging at myself here? ) it was to those who have somehow had the experience of rearing their children, and successfully too. Ofcourse compliments prove and I believe such parents are lucky to recieve such compliments, a reward of lifetime. Toddlers’ moms dont even qualify here (tho I sincerely wish and hope same for you when D and Y growup )

I agree with each one of you about enjoying the time, BUT that is something else. I still believe “Good Parenting” needs an effort, even if any of you thinks it is only an allusion.

didn’t read the whole thing but 2 year also comes under this category infact the moment child is born, agr start se he you will make him/her understand the stuff it will be easier though good n bad phase comes but then you should know how to tackle it. n trust me younger they are they undertsnad thing better atleast I can say this after my experience

[WendyDarling]

Re: Good Parenting

@Moodie_Foodie

Why cant a parent enjoy being a parent and still discipline their kid?!? Enjoying parenthood doesn’t mean you let nature rear your children because discipling is just as important as any other parental responsibilities. Yes children go through phases and toddlers are difficult because they overwhelmed with needs and wants and they can barely differentiate
between the two so of course they may throw tantrums but its how you deal with it as a parent knowing YOUR kid that matters. Not every kid is the same and not every tantrum is the same. Lets not confuse a lazy parent with a parent who enjoys parenting. I know plenty guppans and mothers who are chilled laid back moms who dote on their kids and understand their children will have a meltdown here and there and their beauty is that they are not overwhelmed or panicked by the challenges. They relish in the good and the bad and mom on!!!

Couldn’t have said it better myself!!

Mirage, relax! Do what you’re doing. Be a loving and caring mother. I’m sure your children will grow up to be amazing individuals.

[Chaachi]

Re: Good Parenting

I think consistency is the key like someone mentioned. If one thing is wrong/bad child should always be told so.

[psyah]

Re: Good Parenting

Here are some dynamics and play offs in character development and some nuances with respect to nature.

Children push boundaries

Allow - they will develop a broader base and become more street wise
Don’t allow - they will be more controllable

Tantrums

Give attention and plan in advance how you are going to keep child busy, have books handy, something to eat and a toy might do the trick, when you are in friend’s company.
Chastise - done in public or private (public humiliation might work, but it may teach them to publicly humiliate parents and create a horrible cycle) (private chastisement is better for the child - but it may cause others to think that you are not disciplining your child)

May be a middle approach is good …

A certain amount of curiosity should be encouraged - when kids go sour it is a sign that you might have been neglecting them. Rectify it by leaving the friend - sometimes it is better to stay a short while at friend’s and save face than to spend long sections of the day - to socialise at the expense of child’s temperament and your own image as a parent.

My wife has chosen the “no friends” route … She has various people that she meets with, on a semi-friendly-formal basis and never out stays her welcome - usually we are the first to leave.

People often have an OTT fear of children in general and when inviting friends with children should somewhat prepare for the worst too … just so it prevents any ill-feeling going towards the invited friend.

In light of all this - this is the method of keeping a child at bay …

a) When at home be nice and occupy the child be nice but stern about boundaries
b) When planning to go out - plan for child to be kept busy too
c) When in company of others - prepare child to be good and not misbehave - say this at the onset before they start to let their hair down.
d) Regularly remind children to behave - you may sense their volumes getting louder or they might start rushing around more so before anything happens calm them down again.
e) If they are starting to misbehave use your distraction techniques - books, toys and/or sweets/fruits etc
f) If they continue - bring them in to the limelight and start talking about them with them infront of your friends - praise them.
g) If they continue - threaten to leave
h) If they continue - actually leave and apologise to friend

Done deal!

[mirage]

Re: Good Parenting

^ finally a meaningful and helpful insight, thanks Psyah.

I think what matter the most is the parent/s being genuine and positive. I agree with how much emotional security is important for a child to become a positive personality later in their lives. And agree to the bits on stances like consistency and niceness.

[psyah]

Re: Good Parenting

^ Aw fanks a lot