So lately my soon to be 5 year old is getting fiesty.
“But I don’t want to”
“It’s not fair”
“I don’t care” - she almost got a beat down after that one
So we have been doing good cop and bad cop routine. Hubby is the good cop. He asks nicely for her to get her chores done. I am the bad cop. If she doesn’t comply - I have to give her a time out or take away an activity.
Do you have a dedicated disipliner in the house? Who is the person that your children FEAR the most?
Do you think my children will remember me as the “one who was always angry!”
lol!!! Your little one reminds me of my sister when she was that age! She was a strong willed little thing! My mom one time gave her a smack on the butt and my sis told her THAT didn;t hurt." Also, "I dont care" was a pretty typical response when something was taken away from her!! Very frustrating!!
Anyway, hubby and I equally share the good cop and bad cop roles. He works very long hours so I have the majority of time with the boyz - discipline is a must. When hubby does spend time with them, he can't just be all fun and games because they'd see him as a playmate instead of a parent.
The boyz dont fear either one of us but they do care very much about making us proud of them and they get upset when we're angry at them. When they do something wrong, they usually lose a privelege for a while but they care more about the fact that we're angry than they do about the loss of privelege. I guess they fear our disapproval. It works...
Ofcourse it's the mommies these days that have to play the 'bad cop' role or so I have observed. If it wasn't for MY diciplining my kids would be total brats. My husband totally enjoys being their favourite parent when it's time to getting away with stuff. If I ever ask him to dicipline them he straight out tells me he'd rather not be a part of it (which I am secretly happy about).
Infact he tells me "buri ho tou buri bani raho", LOL.
Now the good part is once in a while when he DOES step forward it totally works on the kids and they know he means it and they better behave. I personally am very much happy with this little system we have implemented and enjoy being the bad cop to the fullest. devilish grin
Not all mummies play the bad cop part, even though a lof of them do, I cannot be a bad cop allways, I tolerate a lot, but when she sometimes crosses the limit, I get angry with her and she stops, but sometimes nothing helps then I tell her, OK I am calling papa, she knows papa is a bit stricker than me. In my house, I let her papa be the bad cop!
But mostly both of us are good cops, only when the limit is crossed then some action, like discliping has to be done.
I am in Sajal's position. Since I spend waaaay more time with Noor than Ibrahim does I end up being the one that disciplines her more too. And I prefer that the time she has with him is enjoyable and memorable. She is nutso about her Dada and I like it that way.
On the occassion that she does need to hear it from him he doesn't need to really raise his voice even and it's taken very seriously.
It works well.
Mind you.....each child has a distinct personality and I have never, allah ka shukar hai, had to deal with the "I don't care" or "So what?" types of responses.
