The day before yesterday, my friend’s father passed away. During the gathering I noticed few good and few bad steps taken by his friends.
Bad Steps / Comments: (unintentional)
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One of his friends made a remark while smiling, “Now, you would never ever be able to listen to your dad’s voice again calling your name or see him in front of you or laugh with him. Previously you used to enter house saying " Assalamoalaikum dad”, but this time your tongue would stop at “Assalamoalaikum…” when you enter his room, because your mind would know that you would never see him again in this house and this world.
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While he was away talking to his mother on phone, few among us started sharing daily life incidents to pass time, during which when a funny aspect was highlighted some people couldn’t control their laughter. This incident forced my mind to recall my widow aunt’s words " The worst sound I ever heard in my life was when after few days of my husbands death, while I was siting in a room, half dead, and totally lost in my thoughts related to my children’s future, suddenly I heard my sisters along with their husbands and children laughing at a joke in another room"
Good Comments / steps:
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Comments like: “Every one of us would leave one day. InshaAllah soon we all would meet them in the the heaven”
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Your father was always proud of you, and you should be happy that he left while he was happy with you, and had no complains against you.
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Try not to let the devil put in your mind your past arguments with your father, because as your father used to say it is part of a relationship to disagree on certain matters, and parents NEVER mind the mistakes of their children.
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He belonged to Allah (swt) and Allah has the right to take back from us whoever / whatever HE wills at ANY specific TIME, irrespective of what we want.
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There are people who couldn’t even talk to their father even for once in their life, because they were very little when their father died. You were lucky that you were blessed with so much time to spend with your father.
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I know people whose both parents died in one accident. At least you have your mother to console you. Try to serve your mother more, when you miss serving your father.
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This is the time to take the responsibility of giving your brothers and sisters a shoulder to cry on, who consider you the new head of the house. If you don’t recollect yourself, who would then give hope to your beloved ones.
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Some of his friends tried to help him in taking meal, getting a ticket for Pakistan and preparing his luggage. He felt relieved after sometime when he realized that there are many people who care for him.
Many more good comments were given by some of the wise people, from whom I got a chance to learn.
How do you console people after they have lost their beloved ones. What do you think should be avoided during such gatherings ?