I would like to point clarity to a point that appears to be cropping up too often.
Demanding that your future spouse be educated to a base standard, the base being self-determined - is categorically *NOT *gold digging.
Being a peroxide booty-shaker who shaks and slides up with to old man about to kneel over just to inherit his Trump-Towers, is.
How many of you casting the first stone would happily wed your daughters to a high-school drop out because he had a “great SOH” “LOLZ”?
As a note, I would like to extend an “its OK” to those who aren’t in the upper-most epochal of the educational sphere. But hurling sour grapes at those who have that as a requirement, Who do want that level of education, dedication, intellectual capacity and priority to learning from someone they wish to live and have children with - hurling sour grapes is quite unsavory.
I think it is OK and logical to think about the financial aspect before marrying someone. However, it is just one variable in the equation. It should NOT be the only variable.
I find absolutely nothing wrong with girls who would like to marry a guy who is financially stable, or is a doc/eng or has a certain level of education provided thats not the only thing on their minds.
^ As I said, thats ONE variable which logically means that when considering other factors like personality, character, affection it won't be just ANY doc/eng.
Everybodys gonna agree with you. Lol. But it looks really petty when someone says they want a professional like: md, jd, engineer. As opposed to an educated male/female. But everybody will agree on it not being gold digging, because its not. I just think its lame.
No offence meant, but I have seen the girls who take light course such as Fine Arts/English/ or are simple BAs are in general soft and sweeter than those doing hardcore engineering etc. I think every particular domain has its impact on the personality.
Obviously someone who works on poetry, arts etc is more likely to have a soft personality. Anyone graduating from a cut-throat ivy league eng school is a lil more likely to become "hardened".
I think it is perfectly fine for both genders to ask for highly educated people to get married to. There isn't anything about being gold digger or whatever in this. When we marry a career oriented person, we do sacrifice a lot in it ourselves in regard to time, family and all that. Asking for a financially strong spouse is okay as long as you are willing to build everything with them and not ask for jahiz or the guy should have a huge house, big car at a begining of his career. If you are willing to sacrifice and build everything with your career oriented, highly educated, extermely well paid spouse then why not. His/her career or financial stability shouldn't be the only reason though of marrying that person.
A bit OT, but I'd like to add that I think the bias toward professions (medicine, law, engineering) seems somewhat logical to me in a Pakistani context, but once you start looking here in the West its much less meaningful. In Pakistan, there's a much lower-paying job market (and perhaps smaller?) for liberal arts grads, and by definition many if not most people majoring in liberal arts in Pakistan had lower test scores/grades. So saying that a spouse should be a doc/engineer etc., especially when you don't have the chance to know them well ahead of time, ensures more financial viability and may also speak to some greater level of academic motivation or 'book learning.'
Here in the US and in other English-speaking Western countries, diversified, advanced economies allow for people from almost any academic background to secure good jobs. Also, majoring in liberal arts is a preference and much less a reflection of who worked harder in school or got better grades. I personally did very well in school and could have pursued medicine, etc., but chose the liberal arts just because it's what appealed to me most at the time. I am also very much gainfully employed and make a very, very good salary---not a surgeon's salary, but it would easily cover my and my husband's living expenses plus leave plenty of room for saving and investing, leaving the other's paycheck strictly for saving. Plus I get to work a 9-5 job--no crazy hours--and didn't have to go to school for 12 years. :) My situation would most likely not happen in Pakistan except under the most exceptional circumstances, but it's not all that uncommon here.
So I don't really look at this issue as gold-digging or not, but I think it makes a lot less sense in the West for people to obsess over the whole academic degree/profession issue, though in Pakistan I can see the benefit.
No offence meant, but I have seen the girls who take light course such as Fine Arts/English/ or are simple BAs are in general soft and sweeter than those doing hardcore engineering etc. I think every particular domain has its impact on the personality.
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Obviously someone who works on poetry, arts etc is more likely to have a soft personality. **
what if you're an english/art phd? That kind of doctor means ooga booga. Apparently. What about people with multiple Masters/phd degrees? I think what you guys want is someone who's Professional field is very time consuming and on average highly paid. A professor is VERY educated, and they make squat compared to the professions listed above.
No offence meant, but I have seen the girls who take light course such as Fine Arts/English/ or are simple BAs are in general soft and sweeter than those doing hardcore engineering etc. I think every particular domain has its impact on the personality.
Obviously someone who works on poetry, arts etc is more likely to have a soft personality. Anyone graduating from a cut-throat ivy league eng school is a lil more likely to become "hardened".
LOL That's like saying pediatricians are better looking than surgeons and have softer personality than surgeons.
I disagree a billion and one percent with a joota on top
^ Lolz... obviously no self-respecting engineer/chartered-accountant etc will agree to that.
However, I stand by my statement and I am talking in general. Its a very lame way of counter arguing by taking one tiny example to disprove something.
A titre example, go to the fine arts department of Punjab University and you will find a lot of jolly/happy/fun girls and then go to the electrical engineering dept of NED par exemple and you won't find THAT much fun in the air.
Once again it does not mean that EVERY engineer/CA is a dry person, just something I have observed.
In school some departments might be more stressful than others but it doesn’t reflect anyone’s personality. I can’t imagine how an engineering/math professor would react to a bunch of giggling girls- but that doesn’t mean they don’t giggle outside of school. Are you kidding me? I don’t even know what to say
