Going to visit susraal pre-shadi?

Lifestyle Relationships
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wffffwww

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Re: Going to visit susraal pre-shadi?

may be... but i knw lot of gals who dooo

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Re: Going to visit susraal pre-shadi?

I sure as hell hope not... What if the susral goes to meet her pre shaadi

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Re: Going to visit susraal pre-shadi?

quick question wth is a susraal??

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in laws lol

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Re: Going to visit susraal pre-shadi?

lol can't you wait a bit longer you'll spend your life there!

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Re: Going to visit susraal pre-shadi?

rrr

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Re: Going to visit susraal pre-shadi?

umm.. nah like dis gal she was her fiance's gf :D lol... sooo... they got engaged and on dholki she was dere in her fiance's houseee

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Re: Going to visit susraal pre-shadi?

lol ... well if i pick the grl i'd probably bring her home frst so she can meet with my parents ... and thats fine in my family ... if it was arranged .. then m not su re

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Re: Going to visit susraal pre-shadi?

theyre going to be a part of your family, i don't see how it's taboo

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lol exactly.

If your mom says no then don't go.

I THINK it is looked down upon if you go visit them alone or with the guy......i hope this doesn't sound backwards but in most cases, the girl should never see the guys' parents alone (alone as in without her family).

but phone calls/online communication is okay...I think.

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Re: Going to visit susraal pre-shadi?

why would she want to visit them?

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Why that?

OT: As far as I know, it is kind of looked down upon. But then it depends upon how cool the family is. In this situation, unless your MIL explicitly invites you over, I would go with what your mom is saying. OR if your fiance tells your mom that he wants to bring you over, and she is fine with it, then sure.

Obviously then, you want to hang out with the in-laws. If they leave the two of you alone, it is best not to leave the living room (i.e. to go to his room).

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^Part of it's religion, part of it's culture. Going with just your fiance to visit...until you're married, he's not your husband and you can't go places with him by yourself.

As for going with your family to visit his family, there's really nothing wrong with it. You have your mahram with you and obviously, you're not alone. Islamically, that's fine. But culturally, it still raises eyebrows. I don't know who came up with the rule, but there you have it.

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Re: Going to visit susraal pre-shadi?

^ yes i forgot to add that..... it may be okay when you go with your family...but not alone

To the thread starter, im sorry but I dont know teh exact reasons...but perhaps it has to do with the fact that engagement doesn't have a religious significance so it can be seen as that she is seeing na-mahrems alone. It may seem silly or not fair but thats how it is...

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Re: Going to visit susraal pre-shadi?

^Hmm, I have seen both things happening. Cousins and friends visited their fiance's place with parents, and I have seen no invitations to the girl to visit the house.

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Re: Going to visit susraal pre-shadi?

If You're going with parents thats fine.

But going alone is not regarded as reasonable in our society.

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Re: Going to visit susraal pre-shadi?

I would say dont go.

The reason is because in our desi pakistani culture, the guy comes to the girl and that is how her respect in her inlaws' eyes stays intact. Your mother is saying no for a reason. Your fiance doesnt care because it wont affect him in any way so why would he care?

These things are very small but since we're desi, our inlaws love to make sure we never forget the tiniest of things.

You will be seeing them for the rest of your life, dont rush it.

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My first reaction to the question was an eyeroll, like this :rolleyes: Like why wouldn’t you visit your in-laws - it helps you establish a relationship with them and get over the evil in-laws fears.

But after reading Sara’s comment, I agree - this makes sense. Telephone calls and meetings with both families make more sense and accomplishes the same goals of fostering closeness between the DIL and ILs and samdhianas while minimizing any potential negative fallout.

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Thanks a lot everyone! Really helped! :D