So I’ve come across this more ‘back home’ in arranged marriages but obviously it happens here too.. A girl or guy will marry someone they know prefers someone else or has a bf/gf and is just being pressured into marrying them by family but thinks it’s no big deal.. So in your opinion is this a positive or negative thing? Does it show maturity or do you think they’re being naive?
Re: Going into marriage as ‘second best’
Re: Going into marriage as 'second best'
Could there be other reasons besides immaturity and naivete? For example, marrying someone (who prefers another) because you see some benefit in it (such as settling abroad, etc). Could it also be a combo of naivete AND ego...as in you really like the other person and although the feelings aren't as mutual...you hope that with time they will change? And what about other factors such as ignorance and fear? As in being too afraid (from parental pressure) to inform the potential rishta that you're just not into them....so the other party is ignorant.
Re: Going into marriage as ‘second best’
I think they are being very naive. I am against anyone at all even parents forcing their choices on kids :nono:. What’s the use? You can try and make them understand but by force we can’t make their decisions.
Re: Going into marriage as 'second best'
In that case they are obviously not marrying for love.
I would feel insecure if i knew i was getting married to a guy who likes someone else. And it would kill all the lovey doveynes in the relationship. There is no reason why i can not wait for someone who wants to get married to me.
Re: Going into marriage as 'second best'
I'm not sure how I feel about this, I guess only the person in that position would be able to tell us. I know someone who did that, the guy was with a girl for about 8 years or so and when it came down to it his parents told him to marry another girl. He happily (or as it seems) married another girl. The person who had it the worst is the girl he left.
Re: Going into marriage as 'second best'
So long as after marriage the person can forget the past and give his/her new partner 100%, then that is all that matters.
Re: Going into marriage as 'second best'
What about the fact that the person who wanted to marry someone else couldn't marry that person because of some reason (the other person's parents' disagreement etc)? They tried to get married to each other but somehow things didn't work between them. Now they don't have any choice left and now they are marrying some other persons. What if the people they both are marrying respectively know about their past? Afterall, engagements do break and people move on to marry some other persons and they usually let their new partner know about their past.