Re: Godmothers and godfathers..
I’m not a parent…BUT my 2 cents in this matter come purely from a legal perspective b/c I’ve seen MANY situations involving children where legal disputes get ugly.
Do NOT assume ANYTHING when it comes to your children. God forbid something happend to both you and your husband…after that…when it comes to deciding who will raise the child…emotions will rule. In-laws who have been best friends can become enemies and entangle themselves in a nasty court battle with the child stuck in the middle (trust me, I have seen this happen in real life quite a few times). Think about it…the child needs to live in ONE house right? Well…who will decide which grandparents house is the “best” place to for the child? Or who will decide which siblings house is the best? What if the grandparents live in different cities? Or states? Anyway…the point is that is really is best for the child if you and your husband choose a guardian for him/her in case something happens to both of you.
Honestly, personally I would not choose my parents OR my husband’s parents as guardians for my future children. Why? Because due to their age, there’s a high risk that they’ll experience health problems. Also, due to the MAJOR age gap…I don’t want it to be a situation where my child grows up in a house with “old people” who don’t “get” what he/she is going through. And as you already wrote…I also would never want my parents to feel “left out” if we chose his parents…or vice cersa. I would not choose my own siblings…or his siblings for this very reason. Because once we’re gone…I feel that my own family AND his family…will not be able to treat the situation in a rational manner…and put aside their own personal feelings.
And b/c of this…I would choose a VERY close friend of mine. Someone who’s not related to the family by blood or marriage…but still someone who I would trust with my own life (and my child’s). In addition…when drafting the will…I would NOT reveal to my family what I’m putting in that will. Because quite simply…its really none of their business. Its upto my husband and I to decide what is best for our child. There’s no need for me to share that decision with anyone else b/c it will do nothing but cause drama. I would ask the particular couple I have chosen if they’re ok with my choice. If they agree…then that’s it. Just them, us, and the lawyer knows. No reason to reveal the contents of that will/trust to ANYONE unless both of us die (or become incapacitated).