A Teacher gave her fifth-grade class an assignment: Have their
parents tell them a story with a moral. The next day the kids
came to class, and one by one, told their stories.
Kathy raised her hand first and said, “We live on a farm and we
have hens that lay eggs for market. Once we were taking a basket
of eggs to market on the front seat of the pickup and we hit a
big bump in the road. The eggs went flying and broke all over
everything.”
“And what is the moral to that story?”
“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”
“Very good!” said the teacher.
Then little Lucy raised her hand and said,
“We live on a farm, too. But we raise chickens for the meat
market. We had a dozen eggs once but when they hatched, we only
got ten live chicks. And the moral to that story is, don’t count
your chickens before they are hatched.”
“That was a fine example, Lucy.”
“Johnny, I believe you had your hand up next.”
“Yes Ma’am. My Daddy told me my Uncle John was a flight engineer
in Desert Storm and his plane got hit. He had to bail out over
enemy territory, and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a
machine gun, and a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way
down so it wouldn’t break, and then he landed right in the
middle of a hundred enemy soldiers. He killed seventy of them
with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he
killed twenty more with the machete before the blade broke off.
Then he killed the last ten with his bare hands.”
“Good heavens!” said the horrified teacher. “What did your Daddy
tell you was the moral to that terrible story?”
“Stay the hell away from Uncle John when he’s been drinking.”
- “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched…but are felt in the heart.” *