All of us always have a vision of how we want our wedding to be. From decor, outfit, food etc…we have a “dream”. But I know in desi weddings, many time the bride’s mother OR the MIL decides to take control…and due to unforseen circumstances…the bride has no choice to to allow her mother or the MIL to control the entire wedding. She just shows up at the place, gets dolled up, and smiles. It is not her dream wedding…but the dream wedding of her mother (or MIL).
Have any of you been through this? If so then how did you cope with your own feelings before and right after the wedding? The sadness, anger, resentment (or whatever negative feelings you may have felt)…did it lessen AFTER the wedding with time? Were you able to forgive whoever took that control away from you during your special day?
Nope I still live with the regret today that I couldn’t play certain songs at my wedding
Kidding aside, it doesn’t bug me as much now…but for a good year after the wedding, I was still resentful and bitter that things hadn’t worked out the way I had wanted, including the wedding. part of it had to do with our personal situation as well.
I think I was quite relaxed about the makeup/hall/decor/menu…only because my SIL was planning it all and we had a time constraint…and it was so hard to find anything decent in such short time.
The only things that really made me upset were the outfits I got from my side and the music. I wasn’t able to go to Pakistan to pick anything, and I hated everything that I had chosen…and I was upset htat nobody had listened to a single suggestion of mine, and they chose what they had wanted.
As for the music, I had made a playlist for the wedding day and the entrance/dance songs etc… none of it was played, not even my entrance song…instead it was some really really awful song. Petty…I know.
Except for the music one, I had no one to blame for anything, except myself I guess for being in such a hurry to marry.
the negative feelings do subside either with time or a new event…like having a baby.
IMO girls should stop thinking that when they get married, they’ll have this or that…too many expctations just sets you up for disappointment later.
I didn't have any say in how my wedding would be. I saw my shaadi/walima outfits just few days before my wedding. I didn't really care that much. I didn't plan oh this and that.. this food.. this deco and all. Even my MUA were picked by other people. I wanted to have just a peaceful occasion. Like Sara, I don't think about it now. I have other things in life to focus on. What was important to me even then was how my life would be after marriage.
