yeah gtg...i get that... its gotten alot easier to just leave him alone.... as crazy as it sonds i definitely think its because of where we live now.
its alot harder to give space and let the other person chill out when you're both stuck in 1 room.
Sara my sister says the same thing. If you are in each other space maybe it's okay to go out for a bit. But it's better to say something and go.
"I am going for the walk and I'll be back in 20 minutes"
Re: Giving Space
I think people are confusing giving space to cool down with silent treatment ... i think giving space is when in the heat of argument when someone thinks they wld say something htat shldn't be said ... they shld tell the other person that ok i need sometime before i say something that i wld regret later ... thats space ... not talkin to someone after and argument and not trying to resolve the issues ... that silent treatment ... there is a big difference between the two
Re: Giving Space
Well it seems that was one very smart individual!
I brought out the best in that individual :jano:
libranrulz : agreed
Re: Giving Space
Tall claims woman. Very tall claims!
Re: Giving Space
turning a back is not giving space. Giving space is when both mutually agree that they need to stop seeing each other's face for couple of hours may be but just walking out is sort of "as if I care" or "go to hell" attitude.
Re: Giving Space
Whenever i used to have a major argument with my X, i would leave her alone for a bit and go out and have a smoke or somin, and then come back and act as if nothing happened and carry on with the plans we had, or if we were in the car go quiet for a bit and turn up the music and that helped. But to be honest havent been in a marriage situation where i think things would be a lil different.
Re: Giving Space
Re: Giving Space
Well! Our fights are mostly logical vs. emotional. The more logical I get, the more emotional the fight gets. I, for a short time, actually started enjoying the lul time after the fights but my better half quickly realized that. Now she pulls me to bed after the fight and she is back to normal before my head cools down and I wonder what was the fuss about. Women need to fight!
Re: Giving Space
Giving space does not mean ignoring each other's existence. When i need space, i tell my husband, i am really mad over XYZ and dont want to talk to him. If i were to just give him teh silent treatment, he would be confused over why i was doing that. Normally, i am fine within an hour or so unless something major peeved me off.
And Sara i used to do the same exact thing you do, keep asking whats wrong etc etc. I also used to make everything about me if he was quiet. For example, i would think he is mad at me etc. But slowly i realised (ok not that slowly :D ) that everythings not about me and there are other things that go in our life that can bother him too. So now i usually stay quiet until he talks about it himself or give him some space and then talk about it a few hours/days later when he feels a bit better. It works out this way for both of us.
Re: Giving Space
There has only been one time in our 3 years that it was so bad that he walked away. And that was the worst thing ever!! We promised each other since day one, that no one walks/runs/slips away from the fight. SO we talked about it until we both are happy, and it takes lots of talking and saying evil things but the imp part is to not take it to heart and know how much you love eachother, and you would not be fighting otherwise. And it does wonders for our relationship. From each fight you learn something new about the other person, which is the best part:).
Re: Giving Space
I've learned that its always best to let cool heads prevail and to discuss things when emotions are in check. When you're very angry, you tend to say things that you dont really mean but these things can hurt the other so badly that they'll never be forgotten. That includes saying "I'm so mad I'm going to leave you until I cool down.". Best to keep your mouth shut and say nothing until you can speak with a cool and clear mind about the things that bother and anger you.