Re: Give me an insight
OK too many posts and people are saying very bad things about me. I am sorry but you dont understand may be i am not good at explaining. I know i have faults, i have ghussa too but my wife's temper is like changez khan, even my mother told her that her ghussa is too high and she needs to be cool headed. My mother also told her several times that her American upbringing is the fault she does not uns=derstand my emotions and things I say as I mostly say them in urdu. My wifes urdu is kind of mediocre. My english is good but i think in urdu/punjabi so when i am angry i say tings in urdu. Amrican pakistanis dont understand us loving desis and our love. My ammi has told my wife many times that this is not what i meant when i said something, this means different in Pakistan. If she does not believe me atleast believe my mother. My wife also does not stop me from talking to my mother, why do you think it is wrong? you dont know us.You people dont realise i left my loving family, my country, my house for her and i am living here in USA, so far away from all the love i have. Why cant she acknowledge this big huge sacrifice from me? She is in the same city that she has lived in for some years and was born and grew up in America.OK I am not perfect now, but i will get better after spending some more time. everyone gets better. I came here for advice so that i fix my issues and some advice on how to tell her to fix her issues.Yes we have issues, i am not an ostrich with its head in the sand and sometimes i feel that i have no value in her eyes or in this relationship. Like a few weeks back i was busy with something. She made a lsit of about fifty things and didnt even ask me if i needed anything. Anyway, i told her i needed some choclate chip ice cream. I love chocolate chip. Then she left and i remembered maybe some chips for the evening should be good, so i called her up and told her that i needed some kettle cooked halapeno chips and a few other snacks. She was still in the store at that time. I was waiting like a dog for the icecream with my tongu hanging and mouth watering. That is what I used to eat in Lahore as well. Anyway she came and the first thing she did was drop this bomb on me that she didnt get the icecream. Ofcourse i was terribly disappointed so I said "you dont even care about me". Sahabzadi dropped the grocery bags and went to the bedroom. I had to get all the groceirs from the car and put them at the counter. Later she came and said how could i say such a thing and that she got everything else that I had asked for. Now tell me was that such a big thing to say by a husband, i was extremely disappointed that she didnt get the most important thing for me from the list of fifty. dil tootay ga tau aisi baat nikal hi jaati hai. Her reaction to drop the bags and storm out was totally out of proportion. Also it is not like I knew that she brought the chips. If she had told me that she didnt get the icecream but everything else is there then ofcourse i wouldnt have said what i said. I think at least in this case she was bad in communicationg. Now what do you people have to say? Even she realized her mistake and said ke we will go out in the evening and we will have icecream together. I think that was her way of apologising, so I forgave her.I think you have all told me my faults, now tell me how to fix them. Also tell me how should I tell my wife that she needs to control her temper and her faults too.Thank you. I may come back later and reply o some of your other comments, but not where people are calling me bad names. Thankyou every one.