wht do u ppl think abt women working…before or/and after marriage ?
how does it affect the women…& their families ?
wht compromises r to be made from either sides(women/families) ?
Re: girls working
If we say women should be given an education that is equal to a mans' then it goes against the purpose if she is eventually forced to stay home and expected to cook & clean . After all money & time was spent on that education and therefore if not availed its money & time wasted.........
However that doesn't mean that after marriage she shudn't take care of her household , that is primarily a woman's domain but there is a difference between taking care of your house as opposed to being a glorified housemaid.....
After marriage whether she continues to work or not should be entirely her decision as she should know how best to manage her household. Neither being forced to work because her in-laws think she is a money -making machine nor forced to stay home regardless of her education because they think that the woman's place is in the kitchen.
I'm sure with any sensible , educated woman family will alwayz come first and bringing up their children in the best possible way whether that entails staying home & sacrificing a career or going to work , the decision would be in favour of what suits her family best.
Re: girls working
very good topic sara_87
it is a good thing that men and women both work to support their families.
i had written something at GS, in this same section - an article on content marriages and the quality of relationship between husband and wife. one of the points was division of labor.
ideally, with child/ren, women as parents would do well, if they stayed home until their child is ready to go to school or work fewer hours.
for men to b earners, is not bad. in fact, it does show that husbands are realizing their responsibility to earn.
some women support the households monetarily as well, but either way, women and men as spouses must not lose respect for each other, simply because they are working in side or outside of home.
the social aspect is that for husband to be out of home for a meeting, longer work hours is deemed okay, but of women, in most families, right away their career is taoob'ed as a selfish preoccupation and that the women are neglecting family lives. but that is not true.
the quality of life, of a couple, in today’s work and earning environment, and also socially, will be a lot more meaningful if both husband and wife are educated professionals able to contribute to their family lives and the social establishment of which they are citizens.
people who have fears, tend to complicate things or in the spirit of being traditional and self righteous to hold to on to something even wrong, for fear of losing it, they remain caught up in no-change.
but, then if a couple decides to be working and happy, that it is no one else's calling to guilt trip women or the couple, predicting the decline in their home life engagement.
people who do so, are uneducated and expect women to be servers at home for the in laws and the husband.
and we all know, when someone forces you to show servitude, no man or woman can comply with that from their heart.
so it actually is counter productive to degrade some woman, as a spouse or as a daughter in law, if she wants to make use of her education and contribute to the share the support structure for the family with her husband, be a source of pride for herself and her family and husband for being beneficial with her education, and also to the society for later on to have her own children know her for her career success as well as for being a good Mom and partner to their father.
& those who want a muted virgin ready to become a step for an aged man and his family's slave, what goes around comes around.
it is a deep issue and embedded within
are the contextual messages of what is allowed for women and what is not.
and people make all kinds of self advantageous rules, claims and give religious and or cultural / familial boundaries.
they must all know one thing : to be a good Mom, a woman must have good education.
if a wife is able to manage home and work in a smooth way, then no one ought to make her feel that she is selfish because she is able to earn her own money.
and sane women don’t adopt and maintain financial self sufficiency to let down their husband. but it is true that society wants women to not have financial independent and be dependent on men at all level, so that it can put values on her in all roles.
that said, the society must know, if she is and decides to work, it is not a sin.
one way to stop it is that women look for educated spouses for their sons.
and that men choose responsible and educated women their age.
so this trend of utter mis-match is changed for better.
we all know what happens when a quiet, and uneducated young woman is manipulated by her older husband and his family members.
an educated woman, will respect them, but not allow them to be manipulative.
and that is the problem right there for the boy or man's family and at times, his own hypocrisy-ridden self that he is afraid of an educated woman so is his mom. and that is so sad for them but unless they begin to trust, things wont be in their favor because they withheld the chance to experience what an educated spouse or daughter in law could actually beget them - perhaps love, joy, care and family's continued respect together with her abilities to be an equal support to all of them.
the husband needs to be aware of the intent of working of his wife and support her in this matter fully.
and beyond that, no one has the right to make an issue over this.
sorry if i have disappointed double standard oriented people of any age. these are facts. it takes a lot to show transparent thought process. i am sure many would disagree because they may not be ready (even ever) to look beyond themselves and their fearful learning from before. and that is something which will happen, only when illogical conservatism and dishonesty is put aside, only when women and their careers are seen as men and their careers, until then, balance and equity is not going to be possible and as a consequence, unbiased attitude towards working women will not be possible.
in case of single women, earning is their right just as it is for any one else.
wealthy men don’t work either.
it is a need based as well as a personal intrinsic motivation based right of any able bodied and educated human being including women, that they should work, to be able to earn a livelihood and not be dependent for money - on their fathers, brothers, husbands, and sons. in fact, support them.
yet, where there is a will, there is a way! the families and society will be all alright, when the sound decisional choice is made without resentment, on their careers, between a caring man and a caring woman, both.
best,
Dushwari
Re: girls working
As long as a wife pursuing a career is contributing financially to running the house, it should be fine, depending on her own choice. Using career however just as an escape from the household responsibilities and to earn her own pocket money while still expecting the husband to pay all the bills is unfair.
Re: girls working
^ i can honestly say i have NEVER met a single working woman in my entire life, or even heard of one, who views working as such! women love their husbands… why on earth would they not want to contribute fairly to the household? why would they want to “shirk their responsibilities” at home and flaunt around town? who thinks up these things anyway??
ridiculous.
Re: girls working
^ my dear, there are plenty of double standard holding people - in the society and they know what they are all about. empty people frigid in their quick sand of manipulating minds for other peoples' daughters.
that's all.
in any event, that is why women must correct women, first. and teach the men in their lives, to be sensitive and kind if a woman wants to work. it is her right to. God did not proscribe on men's foreheads that make X amount fo money and bring it home, and for women, to cook, clean, and have babies and not work using their education to honorably earn money and also to support their families.
it is cooked up to keep women immobile and out of work to exploit them and to burden them into a guilt trip together with leaving all the room for mankind to feel superior since it makes it happen! --> bring money home, sustain woman kind and thence has all God given right to bid mom, sister, daughter, and wife at his bidding.
this is oen perspective. the other is, work of women and men should be taken as an equal right to have own professions and make a career to support the family and be of pride for leaving a legacy of work behind and having a literate mind, an open mind, and with values and sense of responsibility - make the best of working and family-woman status, nobly and with dedication. if you think of women, such women are better prepared and more giving off of themselves to their spouses.
best,
Dushwari
Re: girls working
Your personal experiences are not a universal truth SGC. Others have had different experiences.
Re: girls working
i never said that.
as a general statement, i find it pretty ludicrous.
if you're speaking from personal experience, than i'm sorry you knew someone like that- its pretty sucky.
Re: girls working
i used to work as a assistant manager before wedding and continued after getting married , but my husband insisted that i should quit during my pregnancy and i havent returned to work and i dont think i will be going back 
Re: girls working
Its a personal decision. I think family should come first, the first walk, talk, teeth, smile and words are priceless. You can not bring them back. Career is also important, whether it is about passion, interest, money or self-esteem, family is must. Couples should decide that on their own, everyone have their own needs and know what is important, but nothing should come in between family rather done to help prosper it.
Re: girls working
just the topic under a lot of discussion now a days...
iam seeing a lot of women working for their families and to support their husbands yet suffering cuz their families arent satisfied..children ignored inlaws not happy etc etc i think its very unfair wid such women therefore am not in the favour of women working after marriage unless necessary