Re: Girls - What would you be okay with?
and when we talk of quality time ...that is hard to get from someone who has to work hard all day ! :p
Re: Girls - What would you be okay with?
Oh and why everyone is rejecting the freedom part?
Would you be okay with your husband putting unnecessary restrictions on you?
Re: Girls - What would you be okay with?
why does it have to be one or the other? why cant we have both????? is this unrealistic?
Re: Girls - What would you be okay with?
^So you're okay with you working and your husband staying at home?
Yep. If he can handle being a "house-husband" emotionally, I don't see anything wrong with it. Although on a more personal level, my fiance earns SIGNIFICANTLY more than I do....so I doubt he'll ever give up his job and want to live on the lifestyle we'd live on my salary alone...lol. And he's a better cook than me and doesn't mind cleaning as he voluntarily helps me all the time around the house...so I don't have any reason to mind him being a house-husband. :)
I also wanted to clarify the "freedom" part. Based on the wording on the OPs question, I interpreted "freedom" as being able to buy what I want for myself/the house (since she said "spend fortunes" on you on #2). I saw #2 being an option where I have a guy who pays attention to me but doesn't spend $ on lavish gifts/trips etc. to "impress" me. I didn't see it as a situation where the guy is unemployed. Even when both spouses are working....if the wife has a job and her own money, that she can buy what she wants (for herself or the house) w/o having to depend on the husband for it...and this is the situation I thought of when I read the orig. option #2.
I know of couples where the wife doesn't work...but complains all the time that their husband doesn't buy them things or doesn't spend money on vacations and other "WANTS" b/c the husbands think its a waste. Its not that the husbands doesn't have the money or aren't paying attention to the wives...but they control the spending on the wife's "wants" on material things b/c they feel those "wants" are not worth spending on. This is the scenario I thought of when I read OPs original post.
Re: Girls - What would you be okay with?
honestly the love and attention vanishes if you know you have to struggle with finances and cope with household expenses. groceries etc.
When a person is constantly preoccupied with the thoughts of empty bank accounts and long overdraft dues - the honeymoon period isnt anywhere to be seen. This might sound a bit shallow - but it is kind of true :/
This is not shallow thinking...its a fact. I see it often. Stress/arguments over finances is one of the major reasons why couples "drift apart" and eventually end up divorced.
Re: Girls - What would you be okay with?
Yep. If he can handle being a "house-husband" emotionally, I don't see anything wrong with it. Although on a more personal level, my fiance earns SIGNIFICANTLY more than I do....so I doubt he'll ever give up his job and want to live on the lifestyle we'd live on my salary alone...lol. And he's a better cook than me and doesn't mind cleaning as he voluntarily helps me all the time around the house...so I don't have any reason to mind him being a house-husband. :)
I also wanted to clarify the "freedom" part. Based on the wording on the OPs question, I interpreted "freedom" as being able to buy what I want for myself/the house (since she said "spend fortunes" on you on #2). I saw #2 being an option where I have a guy who pays attention to me but doesn't spend $ on lavish gifts/trips etc. to "impress" me. I didn't see it as a situation where the guy is unemployed. Even when both spouses are working....if the wife has a job and her own money, that she can buy what she wants (for herself or the house) w/o having to depend on the husband for it...and this is the situation I thought of when I read the orig. option #2.
I know of couples where the wife doesn't work...but complains all the time that their husband doesn't buy them things or doesn't spend money on vacations and other "WANTS" b/c the husbands think its a waste. Its not that the husbands doesn't have the money or aren't paying attention to the wives...but they control the spending on the wife's "wants" on material things b/c they feel those "wants" are not worth spending on. This is the scenario I thought of when I read OPs original post.
oh okay I see.
We can't be sure about anything really, sometimes both partners are working but they still have to spend wisely due to the responsibilities which come along with marriage like mortgages, kids' schooling and insurances etc.
Re: Girls - What would you be okay with?
sometimes both partners are working but they still have to spend wisely due to the responsibilities which come along with marriage like mortgages, kids' schooling and insurances etc.
Agreed. A successful marriage requires both parties to work as a team.
Re: Girls - What would you be okay with?
Number 2 without a doubt! I work to have money and freedom to do what I want. I can't really work to earn my husband's time, affection, and respect.
I think it depends on what situation you are in. If husband controls wife's spending than she would prefer num 1.
Re: Girls - What would you be okay with?
1 - A husband who does not pay much attention to you or give much quality time but gives you all the money to shop and the liberty to maintain house which ever way you want & live your life your way.
*2 - A husband who gives you quality time, takes care of you & listens BUT does not necessarily spend fortunes on you. * Basically what is more important: Money & freedom that husband gives VERSUS Love & attention he gives?
if husband is rich enough, he will never hesitate spending money on his wife and kids (i am not talking about the odd 10% who dont).
Obviously everyone would luv to have both but if i could only choose one it would obviously be #2 because money cant buy u luve, attension and peace ....yes mony can satisfy u but only temporary.
And if i was in that situation i would work hard to make it better...atleast i would know that someone loves me and will alwayz be there for me... When i come home, he'll be there waiting for me.