Hi everyone. I hope everyone is doing fine. So I’m pretty new here.
I had one question that people may not talk about much - the guy rejecting (or not responding to) a girls photo. Is it possible a guy turns down a girl at the photo level that ‘sounds good on paper’, for reasons other than she doesn’t look good? For example girl is tall, slim, fair, educated, religious(hijabi), nice, Citizen, and thought to be good looking?
Let’s say before you get pic, you say you want/open to a hijabi .. Etc. So those things shouldn’t be the reason to reject a girl.
The question really is, would you still turn down someone (or not respond to someone) who is good looking but you just don’t ‘feel’ it for some reasons? Or is it always because they are not good looking in your eyes?
What are reasons a guys family don’t respond?
How often do guys reject a girls photo even if the girl generally sounds good on paper?
I know this may sound shallow or strange but your insight is appreciated.
The question really is, would you still turn down someone (or not respond to someone) who is good looking but you just don't 'feel' it for some reasons? Or is it always because they are not good looking in your eyes?
What are reasons a guys family don't respond?
How often do guys reject a girls photo even if the girl generally sounds good on paper?
There's nothing really to "talk about". Why would a guy or a girl pursue a relationship with someone if they don't find that person attractive? As a female, I would not marry a man if I'm not attracted to him. I don't know any man who would marry a woman if they don't find that woman physically attractive. And beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just because a girl is considered "beautiful" by most people, that doesn't mean that every single man out there will find her attractive.
I have rejected guys before b/c I did not find their picture attractive.
My SO has rejected girls before after seeing their pics. He has said that it's simply b/c he didn't find them attractive. It's nothing personal. His parents brought him many "picture perfect" rishtas....girls from rich, highly educated families...girls who had degrees from Ivy League colleges....but my SO just didn't feel any interest when he saw the pics.
On a total side note, when I first started dating SO, his did not tell his parents about me for quite a while. So in the beginning when we were dating, his parents did bring him rishtas that he rejected...b/c he was already dating me (he showed me the pics/bio datas he was being sent). Now that his parents know about me, they don't send him any more pics. I'm sure there are many cases out there that are similar......the guy's parents actively searching for girls while the son already has a GF that he's planning on marrying. In those cases, if the guy already has a GF he's decided on marrying, then of course he'll reject all rishtas his parents bring him....no matter how "perfect" those other girls might be.
Even though one cannot change an ugly person by merely taking a picture in good angle etc., a glamour shot could be a deception depending on someone's personal choice.
Always make final decision on seeing someone in real.
Even though one cannot change an ugly person by merely taking a picture in good angle etc., a glamour shot could be a deception depending on someone's personal choice.
Always make final decision on seeing someone in real.
Am I the only one that would pursue meeting someone, even if their picture wasn't all that? (given other factors were in favor)? only cz not everyone's personality shines through in their pictures..nor are they photogenic.
Rejection is not just because of looks and i would rather say even rejection isnt the right word here. People eventually have to accept one match and they dont necessarily choose the best one. At times even if everything looks okay, people stay may not agree on match bcoz just doesnt feel comfortable or open with the other family. In my observation small things count more in match making than the usual more apparent ones.
Am I the only one that would pursue meeting someone, even if their picture wasn't all that? (given other factors were in favor)? only cz not everyone's personality shines through in their pictures..nor are they photogenic.
i agree with Sara... i do think he should not be bad looking in my opinion, but if he looks ok-ish u should give someone a chance in real... not everyone is photogenic.
Also what ive noticed, during rishta process guys tend to send very formal pictures (wearing suits and formal clothes) because hey think it should not look casual... but the more casual pitures are more apealing to me..
I guess the guy should have given it a chance, on the other hand it wasnt apealing for him i guess..
Okay, maybe Im crazy here but some sort of attraction is important. If the guy looks okay to me...I would go ahead and meet him in person. However, if I dont like his picture AT ALL...I would feel bad meeting them in person. Knowing Im not interested, why lead a person on?
my sis in law actually looked ten times better in real life than in the photo my mom and bro saw of her.
she looked nervous with a coy smile in the photo but in person she looked like a cross between kareena kapoor and priety zinta, so very beautiful with dimples and all, personality wise she was conservative but very bubbly, sweet and an all around nice person.
Okay, maybe Im crazy here but some sort of attraction is important. If the guy looks okay to me...I would go ahead and meet him in person. However, if I dont like his picture AT ALL...I would feel bad meeting them in person. Knowing Im not interested, why lead a person on?
Thanks everyone. It's good to hear people do understand ppl can look different in real life and will still give ppl a chance. I suppose it's hard when the two familes live a large distance away though. Here's a question- I rarely hear girls getting rejected.. All I hear are how girls reject guys . I have yet to hear from a girl say that they've been rejected. Is it really uncommon? Or is it embarrasing for a girl so she doesn't voice it? I guess I'm just wondering does the rejection of average girls happen more than it looks? Sorry about these odd questions- It just be nice to know what the reality is... Thank you
^It could be the perceived "stigma" which causes some girls to not discuss rejections. Some parents will even prefer to remain mum about a rishta....because they think that if they let others know....and if the rishta doesn't work out....that perhaps people would think that there's something "wrong" with the girl which led to the rejection....and people thinking that she's not much of a catch or that something is wrong. Of course, not necessarily true. But like many other things in our culture....this too might have roots in the "laug kya kahain ge" fear.
Other than that....perhaps they truly haven't been rejected...a feeling of self-consciousness.....or they prefer not to talk about a rishta unless it's headed in a more concrete direction.
I have yet to hear from a girl say that they've been rejected.
I've been rejected. LOL...there....now you've heard it from a desi girl! :) I've been "rejected" more than once after the guy saw my pic. The last rishta that rejected me....about 3 years ago...lol....the guy's father rejected me b/c I'm ONE year older than the guy! LOL....the father is one of my dad's "friends" from college...looking for a rishta for his son in Chicago. The father contacted my dad and asked about me....but when he found out my exact age, said that he doesn't want a DIL who's older than his son (btw, he never even saw my picture). He then asked about my younger sis (who was still in high school btw!!!). My dad told him "no" b/c my sister was still so young.
My best friend (another desi girl) was also rejected multiple times before she got married. As her best friend, she told me all about these rejections as they happend over the years. But as you (and redvelvet) wrote...most girl's just don't openly talk about it.