^LOL that caught me off guard, too. I think she means college in the British sense----the equivalent of high school in the US.
Re: Girls! Marrying some one u don't look upto?
lol yea sorry i should have made it clear lol...my bad...i mean in the british sense lol...
Re: Girls! Marrying some one u don't look upto?
Even if the morals and character is great, why should a girl compromise on education or financial stability when she knows that she can do better off? This is more in the case of an arranged setup, where a proposal comes in. The guy has a shareef family background, the guy is well mannered, has morals & has a good character BUT he is less educated than the girl or earns less than she does or anything of the sort.
Although, the girl takes him as some one with a good character, should she compromise on the education? Gap of study lets assume is something like Girl - PHd, Boy - Masters *OR *Girl - Masters, Boy - Bachelors, *OR *Girl Bachelors, Boy - High School? For earnings is like: Girl: £1800, Boy - £1000. The girl has followed a particular lifestyle due to her financial status or a development due to her education. My question is, is it worth compromising for if she gets a morally great character boy? Do women in such situations tend to think highly of them and lowly of their husband?
Re: Girls! Marrying some one u don't look upto?
is thats the only proposal you got?
"being a great character" do u think great character is something little or opf no importance?
what will u prefer a rich, stable, someone you can look upto, but lacks character or someone who today may seem like little less but as you say character wise ok.
Money stability, position can all come and go. And if someone really is into you they must do everything to keep you happy.
but again depends on what you see in the marriage. its your call afterall.
Looking up to someone needn't be based on the level of education or age. It's about character and morals. So if the guy has the potential to be a good husband and has a personality the woman admires, then it's fine. But from your post it seems she does not have respect for him, so why is she even considering the marriage?
Of course just education or age or money are not determinants for marriage but they do hold importance. I dont think only character can make you look up to some one. It is definitely the MOST important thing but for cases where he is younger than you, doesn't it leave like a kiddish impression in your mind? or where his education is less, doesnt it bring in your mind that oh he wouldnt know this or he is too young to be familiar with this or what would he know? for finances, wouldnt it occur to you that i shouldnt demand this because he wouldnt be able to afford it?
What do boys think in such cases, where the girl is apparently in a stronger position worldly benefits wise? Does that leave a complex?
OR it all boils down to the fact that if you find a great character, all other determinants should go down to zero?
Re: Girls! Marrying some one u don't look upto?
everyone is different.. in my immediate family and inlaws, we have all types of marriages... and Mashallah so far, they are all doing well. The main thing is, in every marriage, every individual chose their own partner.. aka love marriages.
If it really bothers you that much, then dont go ahead
everyone is different.. in my immediate family and inlaws, we have all types of marriages... and Mashallah so far, they are all doing well. The main thing is, in every marriage, every individual chose their own partner.. aka love marriages.
If it really bothers you that much, then dont go ahead
Its a general topic. It is not my personal issue.
Re: Girls! Marrying some one u don't look upto?
I dont think marriage is more of looking upto stuff, its more of a friendly relationship between two people. Its a relationship where care, love, trust mean more than degree, education, salaries.
Good character must not be taken as something very small. Cause if the basics are right the building can be build over it. But having all "look upto" things and no character is also not something i would go for.
Talking abt boys and what they like, many different people many different choices. I can tell you my preferences if ever come across i will go for the one who has a good character, who i can trust, with whom i can have a loving and caring relationship.
Re: Girls! Marrying some one u don't look upto?
"What do boys think in such cases, where the girl is apparently in a stronger position worldly benefits wise? Does that leave a complex?
OR it all boils down to the fact that if you find a great character, all other determinants should go down to zero?"
again varies individual to individual, but if anyone has this complex in mind from the day one they cant have a healthy relationship.
So good character will be someone who thinks above all materialistic concepts. and not someone who thinks his spouse is more educated or less stable.
Marriage only works when you agree to live with each other weakness and help them in thick and thin.
Marriage is relationship not a championship :)
Well from my personal experience "charismatic" guys were very popular in our university and they really used their "charisma" by having a lot of fun with girls who were meant as a time pass. See, the girls thought they were really "cool" and "classy" and looked up to them and the guys knew this very well. However, it was another sight when the charsimatic guys moved onto other girls and dumped the current GF who was looking up to them.
I'd take character over most other things any day.
I agree. Those charismatic guys do know it very well and know how to use it.
I would prefer someone who is morally and character wise good. Looks, money, position does not matter because all those things are not going to be there forever.