I know a few people who recently married girls from Pakistan. Most of these girls come from good families and are from pretty decent households. They are educated and decent looking in appearance. I have never really gotten to know any of them up close and personal, but I have always wondered how guys get along with these girls from Pakistan. Especially, if those guys themselves DID NOT grow up in Pakistan or were only there for a short period of time.
Also, these girls are mainly from grammar school and other good schools in Karachi/Lahore. Does the school you attend make a difference ? For example, I have heard most ex-grammarians like to stick together, even after graduating from their school. They build their social circles around their fellow students. Is that true or a stereotype ?
Wondering how they (the girls) assimilate themselves into american/canadian and other western societies. Is it easy or tough ? What are the challenges they must face ? How is their life different from back home in pakistan ?
Anyone have such experiences or know of friends with similar backgrounds ?
Re: Girls from Pakistan - adjusting to western lifestyles
i knew quite a few aunties in canada who wanted their canadian born sons to marry girls from pakistan or even ksa. All of the girls took to canadian life style like fish to water..they didnt have a hard time at all!! all knew english cuz they went to excellent private schools in karachi… some had work experience from pakistan so were confident of finding a job in TO too… we would meet regularly at dars and they never complained.. actually no.. they did.. the fact that they had to do everything themselves and couldnt get a maid to do it …
i know one guy was very worried that his fiancee would be too stupid to adjust to the canadian lifestlye.. he was very pleasantly surprised… maybe girls are better at adjusting to new surroundings than guys…
on the other hand.. aunties got a good dose of grass being greener on the other side… cuz the reason WHY these mothers married their sons off to girls from the mid east and pakistan was so they would uphold cultural and religious values and help their “lost” sons too..would know ghar ke kaam kaaj.. be all sughar… hehehhe… soo wrong .. or maybe they just chose the wrong girls… cuz these girls just did not want to work around the home.. did the very basics… only did what was required for their immediate family (husband and kids), and didnt pay attention to any work that the saasu maa might have for them…
hehe.. one aunty was bawling her eyes out kay how the hell did this happen. mein tho pakistan se isliye layi thi larki.. so she would know how to run a household and the rights of those that live in the house with her.. rather than just take care of her husband like a gori… heheh… her second dauhter in law is a canadian born and raised.. and aunty is very very happy with her.. uff…
Re: Girls from Pakistan - adjusting to western lifestyles
Khawateen, your story rings so true! One auntie I know made it a point of marrying her only son (and only child) to a girl from Pakistan. "Girls here don't know how to take care of the house, and we need someone who will live happily with us in the same house," she'd say at various dinner parties.
They get a girl from Pakistan, educated and pretty, mind you. And within a couple of weeks, she's working outside the home, not doing any housework, has her husband transfer his job to a city 400 miles away, and tells the parents not to follow them up there "we don't know how long we'll be here, the apartment is small, etc." The parents are lonely so they decide to pack up and move back to Pakistan!
What a conniving little schemer she was. Got rid of the inlaws in one clean stroke! Right before the auntie left, she bemoaned her fate to her friends. "Mujhe kya patha tha key hamaray saath isthara ho naee thee. Hum tho bahut akelay rah gai hain." To which her friends (mother of daughters) replied "Who told you to get a girl from Pakistan? At least our girls here are respectful!"
Guys families go to Pakistan in the hopes they can find a beautiful, gharailu girl to care for their sons (and for them). While some are lucky to get that, lately, I've noticed the girls from Pakistan are very modern, ambitious, non-domestic and certainly not what the families had originally expected. I think when you marry a girl from a wealthy family, she's not going to be the meek domestic mouse you think she'll be. These girls know what they want and exactly how they want it. And one thing that puzzles me is that if they want a good homemaker, how is a rich girl with an excellent education who's drowing in servants to cater to her every need going to be a good homemaker? She's not.
Re: Girls from Pakistan - adjusting to western lifestyles
Wondering how they (the girls) assimilate themselves into american/canadian and other western societies. Is it easy or tough ? What are the challenges they must face ? How is their life different from back home in pakistan ?
Anyone have such experiences or know of friends with similar backgrounds ?
I know several girls from Pakistan who marry guys here. And most, if not all, have thrive very well. They do have a camaraderie with people who went to the same school as them, but that's not always the case. I used to live on the east coast and I noticed that the "fob girls" there were more inclined to hang out with their old classmates, but maybe that's because they were in the same area by chance.
Some of the girls I know were very lonely in the beginning, especially if they settled in some remote state. But most are intelligent and quick learners. And they get independent pretty fast. I think because the globe has gotten so small, and with so much TV and movies, people have a better idea of what to expect and there's less culture shock than there used to be.
Re: Girls from Pakistan - adjusting to western lifestyles
Also, these girls are mainly from grammar school and other good schools in Karachi/Lahore. Does the school you attend make a difference ? For example, I have heard most ex-grammarians like to stick together, even after graduating from their school. They build their social circles around their fellow students. Is that true or a stereotype ?
Wondering how they (the girls) assimilate themselves into american/canadian and other western societies. Is it easy or tough ? What are the challenges they must face ? How is their life different from back home in pakistan ?
Anyone have such experiences or know of friends with similar backgrounds ?
I've seen/heard of two types of things happening in those situations:
1) The girl becomes westernized.
2) The girl adapts to her family, which is not westernized. Usually these are religious minded families and the girls are also religious. They don't care to follow the ways of canadians/americans. They live the same way they would in pakistan (or whichever country they came from).
Re: Girls from Pakistan - adjusting to western lifestyles
I know its kinda mean n i feel a tad sorry for her but I think it serves her right for thinking that all non-Pak raised grlz are so bad But it sstill mean leaving them alone
Re: Girls from Pakistan - adjusting to western lifestyles
hmmm those sound like sad stores...umm more like scary ones :D...
on a brighter note...i know this guy who was in pakistan visiting for his sisters wedding and liked a girl....proposed..got married and she came to the U.S. she has been a wonderful bahu..i mean i haven't seen someone soo nice...gets along with her in-laws...is working and going to school but then at the same time is taking care of the house...the in-laws moved out cuz they didn't want to interfere in their married life..but then she made them move back in with them after her father-in-law lost his job and now they are living with them...and supporting them financially. She is a very sweet person..
on the other hand their older son who got married to someone who was raised in the U.S doesn't even speak to them because his wife doesn't let him and has not visited them since i've known them which is for about 5 yrs now... but the in-laws are soo nice they still wont say a bad word about her to others... i guess just some really close friends..
so in conclusion... you never know...sub kismat ka khel hai.
Re: Girls from Pakistan - adjusting to western lifestyles
Regarding how a newly wed treats her in laws, a lot depends on the dhoola saheb and how much importance he places on that. A lot of the stories posted here, the blame lies clearly with the son. After all, you can't expect your wife to treat your parents better than you do.
Re: Girls from Pakistan - adjusting to western lifestyles
InshAllah, I'm going to go to Peshawar or Karachi to get married.
A word about those sad stories: It is imperative that you don't just marry the first girl (who's pretty, btw) you see. I would suggest getting to know the girl before popping the question. Also, ask the kaam wali about the girls attitude. InshAllah, for myself I'm hoping to find an educated girl who is traditional and likes an extended family; it wouldn't hurt to be fair and have NATURAL brown hair too. :) InshAllah.
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her second dauhter in law is a canadian born and raised.. and aunty is very very happy with her.. uff…
But it sstill mean leaving them alone 