After reading a couple of threads here and there, I’ve noticed that the girls family asks the boys family for a rishta (in an arranged marriage). Is this a new concept?
I’ve always been told that the girls family NEVER would ask a boy’s family for their son’s hand in marriage. For example, one of my dad’s mamoo’s has 5 unmarried daughters, who are all done with their education and still unmarried (they are all of marriageable age and pretty, with one of the sister’s being absolutely stunning, so theirs no reasonable reason why they are still sitting at home). Anyways, their father is aching to get them married off but literally NO rishtas are coming for any of them, and he can’t ask anyone to marry his daughters.
Anyways back to the point, is the girls family asking the boy’s family for his rishta seen as degrading?
It starts from parents telling people around the good families that you are interested in getting your daughter married so let them know if there are any good guys looking to settle. Obviously the guy side approaches first but this way you are spreading the word that you as a parent are ready.
For me, it has been always the men side approaching me but my parents did their part to get me as many options to select from. This way I was able to compare men and select the one I like the most after they did their investigation.
i get these messages on facebook from these weird girls that say that want a 'green card' , so i guess the %age of women asking for rishtas is increasing, i even know know a middle aged man(a friend of my dad's) that is married and at his workplace a woman in her 20s asked him to marry her, and she said she wouldn't mind being his second wife, she was clearly a gold digger.
There are many more females than men in this world, so men will always have the upper hand in picking who they want to marry(some men don't realize this and settle for less), unless they live in China or India where women are an endangered species.
Anyways back to your question, there's nothing wrong for a girls family to ask for a rishta(tho it is unusual) and many men will suspect that the girls family are interested in $$$ or a greencard.
EDIT: I forgot to mention that some of my cousins are young doctors and they get approached all the time by the parents of young women(most of them are there patients).
After reading a couple of threads here and there, I've noticed that the girls family asks the boys family for a rishta (in an arranged marriage). Is this a new concept?
*I've always been told that the girls family NEVER would ask a boy's family for their son's hand in marriage. For example, one of my dad's mamoo's has 5 unmarried daughters, who are all done with their education and still unmarried (they are all of marriageable age and pretty, with one of the sister's being absolutely stunning, so theirs no reasonable reason why they are still sitting at home). Anyways, their father is aching to get them married off but literally NO rishtas are coming for any of them, and he can't ask anyone to marry his daughters. *
Anyways back to the point, is the girls family asking the boy's family for his rishta seen as degrading?
That's ridiculous.. and they're probably missing out on some really nice guys..
After reading a couple of threads here and there, I've noticed that the girls family asks the boys family for a rishta (in an arranged marriage). Is this a new concept?
No.
Where I am from if boy get caught at girls place you know.. dating.. talking holding hands..
Girls family put gun on boys head. Bring a imam and get them nikkahed.
Only if u have a well built social circle do u sit around with five daughters and nitro anything. Otherwise ppl generally let their rishtedaar and family friends know "koi acha rishta ho to zaroor bataiyay ga". That's not seen as the girls side proposed, and that's enough to get the word out. Ppl also make sure they say it directly to families who have sons of marriageable age taakay wo khud he apnay shareef betay ka rishta bhej daen. And even if they don't themselves they will keep there eyes and years open when another family says koi achi Aur shareef larki ka pata ho to zaroor bataiyayga. Neither of these ways are seen as asking for someone's hand in marriage. But yes it's always the guys family who come visit first to scope u out. And f both parties are interested then they invite the girls family over to their house for further chhaan been.
Not degrading at all..why should we make marriage difficult?. If i know some fellow who could be good potential for my sister or female cousins...y would you not suggest it to your family?
no, its not a new concept. there are cases in Islamic history supporting this.
usually the girl's family involves common relatives or rishta aunty but even if they directly approaches the guy's family for rishta i don't consider it as degrading.