Is our community still directing their children towards specific career/education choices based on their genders?
Do you find yourself encouraging your child to walk a certain path that you think is more suited to their gender?
Re: Girls = Doctors and Boys = Engineers
I haven’t heard anything like this in years. Again I can only speak from a north american perspective. Have no idea about other countries.
My parents have actually been suggesting to me that we should let the kids follow their own passion/dream for whatever they want to do, girl or boy.
It’s a very comforting feeling, because I feel there is no pressure on me to pressure my kids? does that make sense?
I am not that far where we are filling out college applications yet, but I can see clearly my kids interests in various areas already. Time will tell I guess 
Re: Girls = Doctors and Boys = Engineers
Depends.
My parents never forced us kids into anything… We all chose our career paths ourselves , ofcourse with their guidance. Whilst i was fantastic at what i did (fashion design).. I cant see myself doing it as a mother…atleast not to its true meaning. I was never home when i was working..the hours were all over the place and nothing was fixed…thats just what my job required from me. Not seeing my kids for days is not something i could do.
Ya i could sit at home and stitch clothes but thats not at all what i studied for…
Looking bk…i wish i had gone the other way and studied another passion of mine, creative writing. i could easily be a mom and a wife…
There are some family friendly professions out there, especially for women… I dont know if i may nudge my kids towards em… Its too early… But its definately something worth thinking about.
I dont think its at all backward to think certain jobs ARE better suited for diff genders.
A couple of us friends were actually discussing this topic a few days ago and i was amazed at how many of us said the following :
" wish our parents could have guided us better" 
and they Werent even desi.
Nehows… In the end its upto them what they wanna be… Within reason.
Re: Girls = Doctors and Boys = Engineers
i think its not just desis, in fact desis might be better off than the US. hardly any girls in science/tech/engg./math fields. what is up with that?
Re: Girls = Doctors and Boys = Engineers
It should be the opposite based on time commitment.
Honestly I will push my children based on their aptitude, personality and strengths.
Since both are girls, I would love for them to be able to do both successfully (raise kids and work).
Re: Girls = Doctors and Boys = Engineers
my brother is a professor while my Bhabhi is a housewife with very little education. she always wanted all of her three children to be medical doctors. my bro being in the education field never wanted to pressurize his children to get into certain studies/profession. Bhabhi kept pushing her agenda and she won…lol
she put so much pressure on her eldest daughter to become a doctor. my niece did exactly that…she became a doctor. my nephew was pressured to go for medicine…he didn’t want to become a doctor. he had his interests in Veterinary Medicine…it was kinda compromise…Bhabhi had to give in because he her son would still have the title of “Dr.” before his name…now, it was the turn for her third daughter…she too was under immense pressure to become a doctor. she did not want to and she also found a compromise…she is gonna have a PhD iA in Psychology…she has to be a practicing psychologist…my Bhabhi is tough! 
she even wanted me to be a doctor…i got lucky and got admission into a med school in India…unfortunately, i had to withdraw from the program as i hardly attended classes…i enjoyed life at that young age…
…my Bhabhi did NOT give up on me…she called me to Canada and forced me to get a PhD…lol…OMG…she is a one happy lady because everyone in the house has DR in front of their names…except her! she is very sophisticated though. no one can tell by talking to her that she doesn’t have a PhD. lolz
**
the winner in our home is none other than my loving and caring Bhabhi who is undoubtedly a female version of Hitler. **
Re: Girls = Doctors and Boys = Engineers
oops! double posting by accident. 
Re: Girls = Doctors and Boys = Engineers
I’ve seen it happen mostly when the parents themselves dont have a professional degree, somehow they have a bigger desire for their children to hold a reputeable degree. I guess a sort of confidence boost to themselves as well?.. And before someone gets offended, my mother is in this category. She wants all her childrens to be medical doctors, very seriously. Indeed so serious that she shed a few tears when my sister got accepted in Law, lol. Something we still tease her about.
Re: Girls = Doctors and Boys = Engineers
aaaaaaaaaawwwwwww…your mom!
yes…you are right…those who couldn’t get education [older generation] feel they missed out and since they know the value of education, they push their children to excel. my Bhabhi did everything for her children so they could concentrate on studies.
those people feel so contented when they see their kids become achievers. my Bhabhi is a living example of that…i’ve nothing but praise for her. we are blessed indeed to have her as a motivating force in our family. when i see smile on her face i feel she is so much happy and contented for what she has done for the family. she is our god-mother!
Re: Girls = Doctors and Boys = Engineers
My Mum would always say “laRhkion ke liye teaching best hai”
none of us sisters went that route… we were allowed to choose. Lord knows i wish i had reasonable hours, average pay but awesome holidays…
Re: Girls = Doctors and Boys = Engineers
I think for us “doctor” is still the ideal for both genders, with other professions also being acceptable.
Re: Girls = Doctors and Boys = Engineers
A hybrid speaking here 
Your bhai’s youngest has her phd? How old are you? :o
Re: Girls = Doctors and Boys = Engineers
u mean youngest sibling or youngest child?
btw, his youngest daughter doesn’t have a PhD yet…she has promised her mother to do PhD…she is in her final year of undergraduate program…
i am 30+ and my bro is 55+…bahot ziyaada gap hai na? pahle ke zamaanoN meN pahli aulaad aur aaKhirii aulaad meN gaps bahot huaa karte the…
I was referring to your niece.
Yes, the gap is unusual. Thx for clarifying.
Re: Girls = Doctors and Boys = Engineers
Yes, doctors for girls and engineering for boys in Pakistan. MBA is also very acceptable for both. In Pakistan doctors don’t earn as ridiculously as in the US so they want boys to be engineers. But in the US, its all about doctors.
Re: Girls = Doctors and Boys = Engineers
This trend is changing in my family now.. In my moms generation, every woman had to become a teacher followed by doc drama in my sis and my age but now my cousins are all over the place.. Well one of my khala does have three daughters who are all doctors but other than than that computer science, MBA, civil engineering for girls etc is on the boom. I guess the main reason is most of my older cousins chose not to work after spending all those years in school so younger cousins picked up on that and decided they will study, work, and then get married hence having the option to work after marriage with reasonable hours and pay.
I mean no offense at all but I do wonder how would desi parents react if their child became a doctor and decided to serve in Peace corps or went to an African country with no pay but just to serve humanity.. Most of them will be like haww hiii is this what we paid for all these years.. Only a very few will be genuinely happy that money isn’t a priority for their child and serving humanity in fact is the best of traits they could have instilled in them. Just a food for thought since it often comes to my mind if desis docs weren’t making all this money, where would they stand in the family?
Re: Girls = Doctors and Boys = Engineers
My parents just wanted their girls to be independent and professional and we all are
I want at least one of my girls (I have 3 mashaAllah) to be a scientist or an aerospace engineer or something similar to that but I don’t intend to force them to do something they’re not interested in.
My husband wants our second daughter to be an athlete 
Re: Girls = Doctors and Boys = Engineers
Where have you been?! 