Sounds like a good idea to me.....the girl's family going over to the guy's side of the family first. Means no stress for the girl to bring in chai etc. :)
lol oh my God this reminds me of my holiday in Canada. I have 2 highly eligible cousins who cant seem to find women of their choice. The older one is a cardiologist, and my phuppo got a phonecall from this lady saying she had a daughter who was also a doc and that they were going to be in town and whether they could come over. Now her daughter wears hijab right and my cuz doesnt want a hijaabi but his mother forced him to see her anyway. So my other cuz and I went to pick up the family from the hotel, and I thought the girl was great - tall, slim, really pretty, downtoearth and very well spoken and I liked her mum too. But they had been waiting for 2 hours and we had arrived so late to pick em up!! Anyway, we get home all excited and stuff and they had dinner with us, my phuppo cooked everything, and we left the two doctors to chit-chat. But at the end of the day my stupid cousin doesnt want a girl who wears a hijaab, I dont know why??? and yeah it was totally cool that they came over Fayz, nothing wrong with it. I mean were not living in the 18th century for goodness sake.
hmmm...this has happenned about three four times... I don't mind meeting a guy whom my parents want me to meet, in fact I feel more comfortable in my own house, as in I can check myself in the mirror right before coming in front of them, get up after a short time, not sit there the whole time, etc etc...all those things won't be possible if I was to go to the guy's house. Personally I don't get awkward or shy about it if someone is coming over for a rishta. I just meet them normally and naturally, have a normal conversation and try not to act coy or put up an act of mashriqiyat or sharmeelapan. I do feel a little bit awkward and shy, I think that's natural, but I try to quell that feeling and act matter-of-fact, not entertain the shyness.
And no, I don't bring in chai or something with a ghoonghat or something, coz that would be too cheesy and filmi and unrealistic, usually my mom or dad or a servant or even my younger brother, bring in the chai. I usually just sit there talking normally.
As for my dad going to the guy's house...hmmm...well, if the guy is a nice guy and he's not going to get a big head about it, and his family is not going to think that my family is desperate to marry me into their family, there's nothing really wrong as such either. But I think that the girl and the guy should interact to decide if they want to get married to each other or not before commitments are made.
In our family(i mean duur ka khandaan included) the parents say "haan" even before the kids see each other's pictures. And then they expect the kids to be happy with the rishta and be content with one lousy foto of their future spouse. Funny. No one else seems to mind though.
^
HSHTSA same in my family, some of my first cousins have been married like that too, without even the picture in one case, and they had no objections, almost al of them are still happily married mashallah. I guess its about how you've been raised and the culture you belong to. I knew that my parents would never do that to me, they in fact would want me to know the guy before saying yes or no and consider it necessary that we interact.
Suroor aap kabb jawan hoN gi?
Fayz, man, it will be so comfortable if you can meet the enemy on your turf. When I was home last year I made so many boo boos on these chai trips that I can probably write a book on things not to do when visiting prospective in-laws. When I went home my mother told me that I had to visit some people with her and I flatly refused, told her no way am I gonna start a bakra manDi. She then asked me if I was interested in any one and she will go for that. Since I had no one at the time, and also my mother convinced me that tehzeeb yeh hai keh laRkay walay rishta maaNgnay jaaeiN, I had to evntually give in to my mother and sister’s wishes. Lets FF ( No Femme it is fast forward) so now we are in their house and I was trying to position myself strategically in the room so I can observe everyone, see I was the man with a plan. Unfortunately when you are with females you are the last one to enter the room and by the time I entered most seats were already taken. First step went wrong and I panicked and looked desperately to see if any seats at my mothers flanks were vacant, the obvious refuge, none, the enemy was smarter than I had expected. So I positioned myself at the single seater, closest to the exit and in one corner.
Minutes and then this gorgeous girl comes and sits on the single seater next to me. If you have been to any of these chai parties you may have noticed that initially the atmosphere is a bit tense and it takes a while before the ice breaks. As I am used to of hosting big meetings in my line of work, I instinctively started general conversation so that everyone is a bit more relaxed. I started chit chatting to the girl sitting next to me, thinking that this is refreshing, she looks confident to come and sit close to me. Anyway the conversation kept on and she and I had common views on so many things that I totally forgot about the rest of the people in the room, thinking man we have chemistry between us, this will surely lead to physics and a biological outcome. During this we were served by a maid and all. After I dont know how long this 8/9 year old boy came running in the room with his drawing book yelling ammi ammi and sort of jumped in this girls lap. I was shocked, stunned, didn’t know what to say, mind was working over time, no problem, I am mature I can live with a child, I am not looking for a virgin from jannat, she is good, it can still work. The woman (notice how she is now a woman) told whatshisface to go and play with his younger brother, 
yakk na shudd, do shudd. Not good, not good at all. The next 15 minutes or so were spent in silence where I was trying to gather my thoughts, trying to make some kind of a sense of the whole situation. Then I heard my mother saying the bohat khushi howi aap say mill kay and all those jumlay you say before leaving and I knew it was time to go. The moment we had driven out of their porch my sister asked me so what do you think. I said why didnt you tell me earlier that she had two kids. My mother and sister started laughing “bewaqoof laRki woh thi jiss nay chai serve ki thee, yeh to baRi behan thi, chai wali kaisee lagi”. “Ji woh to maine daikhi bhi nahi mujhay kya pata”. There are a lot more qissas like this so now I am trying to find one on my own so as not to go thru this agony again.
We don't have the chai rusm in our family n relos.
I dont think it's a good idea, as i think islamically the guy should come himself and propose to the girls father... As for checking things out, what are your brothers n guy cousins for :p,, tell them to hang out with the guy and see his 'man' side... :D
Ashtray … 
… do share some of your other stories too.
ashtray 
ashtray, jab app baray hongay 
interesting stories though 
Funny indeed Ashtray.
In our house anybody but who the rishta ppl come for serves the tea. The one the rishta comes for is too busy whining why they came over to begin with.
My sister never served tea 
I have never been served tea. Not even water for that matter. Where are these girls serving tea and stuff?.
Ye the girl might end up serving herself with you around innit! They are all better off with you not coming over.
Femme, I read it like three times but can't absorb the first sentence. Come again, and this time with a tray of tea and biscoot shiscoot, please?.
If you have to ask you're too senile to know.
Oh you girls think that was funny, wait till you hear what happend on the next one. I do not have the time to write it just now and may not be free for another 2/3 days so come back to this thread after 2 or 3 days and I will have some more for you. BTW I was supposed to fly out to Pakistan tonight and my sister in Karachi had a few more ghars for me to visit, then I had 2 weeks in Islamabad with my ammi and other sister. Fortunately/Unfortunately some work came up and I had to cancel my trip till mid of June, so in July I may have some more for you, trust me to screw up a perfectly normal situation at these chai parties.
Ashtray that was hilarious!
Waiting for more.