Re: Gifts to in-laws from my family
I didn't get gifts, they didn't give gifts, i didn't get gifts, they didn't give gifts, FML.
Re: Gifts to in-laws from my family
I personally think a gift should come from the heart, and not be because it's expected. Setting the bar too high (I agree with Sara) is a bad thing because the bar becomes set for everyone towards said present receiver.
If your Mum must give a gift can it not be something smaller, and meaningful rather than gold?
As for changing mentality; I've been told in regards to my own personal situ that it's not possible. Is your Mum the type of woman who cares more about society than being content with her own actions? If she is I'm afraid it will be more of a uphill battle to get her to see things differently.
Re: Gifts to in-laws from my family
Honestly, I'm surprised by most of the posts in this thread, so maybe I just don't see it. I get the point of being civil and wanting to be kind...that's fine....but one can also be kind with regular gifts than gold/diamonds! giving gold itself just seems way too out there for me IMO
It is way out there but our parents' generation is set in their ways and these are their ways. SHe thinks by doing this she will probably get inlaws to respect and care for her daughter more. I don't think that will happen. OP needs to make sure her mom does not give gold...give them something else but no gold. In the future, she will always be expected to give gold and that is not right.
Re: Gifts to in-laws from my family
Please tell your mom not to give SUCH expensive gifts. She invites them over that's more than enough. At most she shd give clothes or something. There is a lot of middle ground between being as rude as your in laws and giving gold chains as gifts.
Re: Gifts to in-laws from my family
Thanks everyone for your genuine advice. I spoke to mom again and she said "no, you have to give some kinda gold when someone is a new dulhan" smh! She's not willing to change her mind. She's saying if she doesn't give anything expensive then later they will have an excuse to say stuff and this way they won't have any thing to talk about. What mommy dearest doesn't understand is that they will always talk even if I put mountains of gold under their feet! I live with these people, I know how they are! I'm just pissssssed at mom for being a doormat, as if one doormat (ME!) wasn't enough!
Re: Gifts to in-laws from my family
Busy you are absolutely right , no amount of gold will change your in laws. And there is no tradition of giving gold to people. Tell your mom to stop coming up with such expensive traditions.