Clothes, shoes, wallet, watch, belt, cufflinks, tie clip, pen - all these in designer brands or a nicer gift version.
Money clip? You can get things engraved so there nicer and more personal. My dad doesn't use a wallet but a money clip would be useful!
Re: Gifts for the in laws
Nothing.... Why you buying them gifts?
Re: Gifts for the in laws
Nothing.... Why you buying them gifts?
wish i had a family like u :D
its not the in laws ... my own family is more like yeh bhi doo woh bhi doo!
Re: Gifts for the in laws
you could get them a nice pen set. There are a lot of classy pen sets. I love Montblanc pens as a gift for men.
Re: Gifts for the in laws
we dont give any gifts to men.. just clothes to women .. pen set sounds good to me :)
Re: Gifts for the in laws
Giving because you 'have to' shows insecurity about the relationship. If u have give gifts to prove something, there is something wrong there.
Re: Gifts for the in laws
we usually buy clothes for males n females.. u can ask ur hubby to be what his parents like de most n discuses it wid him he can give u de better option.. well personally i wud like to give nice clothes to my inlaws.. and old chain or ring to my nand..
Re: Gifts for the in laws
Giving because you 'have to' shows insecurity about the relationship. If u have give gifts to prove something, there is something wrong there.
nahhh - its more to do with tradition ... the gradnparents to the parents to the kids .. everyone follow footsteps .. and if they dont .. they are afraid that it might be wrong .. hence the have-to scenario .. most commonly amongst elders .. us youngsters cant care less :D
Re: Gifts for the in laws
^ The 'tradition' stems from the idea that you are giving away your daughter into this family hence you must give them clothes/jewelry to make them happy and then return, they'll treat your daughter well. There are numerous stories of brides hearing 'taane' if her family's gifts didn't live up to the in-laws expectations.
We as youngsters need to use our brains and judge what is right/wrong. Why isn't there a tradition of the groom's side doing the same? Clearly, this is again\ one of those things where brde's side should feel indebted to the groom's for finally taking the 'burden' off their shoulders.
I've personally expereinced that my in-laws didn't appreciate the gifts that were given to them. IMO, they were nice. Totally something I'd wear myself. First set was from Threads and Motifs, Needles and Impression, (at the nikaah) and second was Bhandini and silk joras from TQ (rukhsati) stitched and designed by an excellent tailor from Bahadrabad. Never have I heard a genuine word of gratitude. And why would they offer a thankyou, it was 'owed' to them, right? In fact, I think my SIL might have sold her's to a friend!!!! I know for a fact that these suits were more expensive than almost all joras she has in her wardrobe.
In my mom's khaandan there are honorable people who refuse such gifts by saying 'humein apni beti dee hai, what more could you give us?'. I wish more people thought that way.
Re: Gifts for the in laws
^ in our family, we gift regardless of whether its a girl's marriage or a boy's. its just a courtesy thing- like a token you take with you when you visit someone's house for the first time- and its never something too ott. its usually suits for the ladies, shirts and ties for the guys. within the family, the phuppo's, khalas, chachis, mamis get a small gold piece gifted to them- usually a ring or a pair of tops. again, its to mark the occasion, nothing more, nothing less.
p.s: that sucks re: your inlaws because the suits sound like were lovely! i love all the stores you've mentioned!
Re: Gifts for the in laws
Thanks SGC. I was really dissappointed that they didn't appreciate them. We really tried to get them something they'd like.
Btw...my MIL 3 suits to my side to split up between them (not sure how taht works since I have 5 sisters...lol). But anyway, thsi is months after they got their gifts and you won't believe how cheap they were. My mom didn't even show them to me! She said she'll send them to Pakistan so that someone less forunate MAY get some use out of them. Like seriously, after we give you nice stuff you couldn't even give one nice suit!
Re: Gifts for the in laws
^ The 'tradition' stems from the idea that you are giving away your daughter into this family hence you must give them clothes/jewelry to make them happy and then return, they'll treat your daughter well. There are numerous stories of brides hearing 'taane' if her family's gifts didn't live up to the in-laws expectations.
We as youngsters need to use our brains and judge what is right/wrong. Why isn't there a tradition of the groom's side doing the same? Clearly, this is again\ one of those things where brde's side should feel indebted to the groom's for finally taking the 'burden' off their shoulders.
I've personally expereinced that my in-laws didn't appreciate the gifts that were given to them. IMO, they were nice. Totally something I'd wear myself. First set was from Threads and Motifs, Needles and Impression, (at the nikaah) and second was Bhandini and silk joras from TQ (rukhsati) stitched and designed by an excellent tailor from Bahadrabad. Never have I heard a genuine word of gratitude. And why would they offer a thankyou, it was 'owed' to them, right? In fact, I think my SIL might have sold her's to a friend!!!! I know for a fact that these suits were more expensive than almost all joras she has in her wardrobe.
In my mom's khaandan there are honorable people who refuse such gifts by saying 'humein apni beti dee hai, what more could you give us?'. I wish more people thought that way.
The tradition exist both ways, at least in Punjab. The boys family also has to gift the girls entire khandan with clothes (primary) and whatever else they wish to (secondary). And you've to gift all their kaam wale with clothes and mithai. I remember when my brother got married, I myself packed the garm shawls etc. for the kaam wale on my bhabhis side. Plus you've to (as boys side) gift your own entire khandaan with clothes. I think this notion about boys family getting "wealthy" through the wedding is really OTT! Seriously, nowadays its not cheap to get married whether you're a boy or girl. If a girls wedding require jahez (its outdated from what I know, but lets assume) then boys wedding require barri and from my own knowledge that is usually a lot more expensive than the jahez due to the high gold prices nowadays and everyone wanting to top the previous weddings given out "Tolas".. (or maybe that competition is only around here?!)
Re: Gifts for the in laws
^ in our family, we gift regardless of whether its a girl's marriage or a boy's. its just a courtesy thing- like a token you take with you when you visit someone's house for the first time- and its never something too ott. its usually suits for the ladies, shirts and ties for the guys. within the family, the phuppo's, khalas, chachis, mamis get a small gold piece gifted to them- usually a ring or a pair of tops. again, its to mark the occasion, nothing more, nothing less.
p.s: that sucks re: your inlaws because the suits sound like were lovely! i love all the stores you've mentioned!
yeah .. its the same with us as well .. quite honestly .. knwing how things stand btw families my dad frankly asked (mainly to get the real thing out) - that are there any expectations and my dear MIL refused majorly saying NO THANK YOU .. just your daughter is what we look fwd to ..
again its not really the in laws .. its my family who never stops thinking about giving .. if i wana change anything .. it wud be their heads .. but outa courtesy no doubt .. they got to knw my in laws first and frankly my dads the sort that he cant tolerate stupid shish like tht .. he wud refuse the whole affair right away .. those kinda people are never thankful!!
reagrdless even though exchange of gifts is not common on engagements .. my family bought the whole family something .. i just wished my parents were not tht courteous :P
Re: Gifts for the in laws
The tradition exist both ways, at least in Punjab. The boys family also has to gift the girls entire khandan with clothes (primary) and whatever else they wish to (secondary). And you've to gift all their kaam wale with clothes and mithai. I remember when my brother got married, I myself packed the garm shawls etc. for the kaam wale on my bhabhis side. Plus you've to (as boys side) gift your own entire khandaan with clothes. I think this notion about boys family getting "wealthy" through the wedding is really OTT! Seriously, nowadays its not cheap to get married whether you're a boy or girl. If a girls wedding require jahez (its outdated from what I know, but lets assume) then boys wedding require barri and from my own knowledge that is usually a lot more expensive than the jahez due to the high gold prices nowadays and everyone wanting to top the previous weddings given out "Tolas".. (or maybe that competition is only around here?!)
this gold affair is totally wrong .. i hate it wen aunties poke their noses into family's affairs and try to ask kitna sona lai hai lardki :@ arrgghh
my MIL was like we dont tell people anything .. please dont do tht on ur side as well .. keep things within families!! Imagine .. my MIL so .. i like that attitude .. people shud learn not to butt into other people's affairs! esp about the wealth thing!
Re: Gifts for the in laws
^agree .. it also burdens the families further to increase the amount IMO
Re: Gifts for the in laws
totally! hate it when people do this in weddings!
this gold affair is totally wrong .. i hate it wen aunties poke their noses into family's affairs and try to ask kitna sona lai hai lardki :@ arrgghh
my MIL was like we dont tell people anything .. please dont do tht on ur side as well .. keep things within families!! Imagine .. my MIL so .. i like that attitude .. people shud learn not to butt into other people's affairs! esp about the wealth thing!
Re: Gifts for the in laws
So I just did a post with almost the same question, then saw this! Do we HAVE to get every inlaw a gift? :O yet another question added to my list :(
Re: Gifts for the in laws
Well, i am thinking for dresses to MIL, & two SILs with bangles, and kurtas for 3 BILs, thats all in focus. Rest to the khalas and mamu etc, im thinking to prepare a small gift basket for each family (altogether 5 i guess) filled with small things like bangles, chocs, dry fruit pkt etc, of gesture with a greetings card titled to the head of family :) I have to ensure making giveaways feel me as happy gesture at the day end, rather a separate budget head to worry about
Re: Gifts for the in laws
............. ^ i would like to put something together for everyone like redberry has .. but its the giving gold to your in laws that gets to me ... we did something like preping gifts for everyone on the engagement and it was fab .. everyone loved the packagin .. my MIL didnt wana leave it behind in dubai when she had to go back to pk!! .. but gold giving trends shud come to an end .. mein upna tho soona banalun pehley!! :P