Quick question:
If a woman has her first baby is she expected to give gifts to her in laws and family members?
And is the same expected when her second child is born?
If she already gave gifts to in laws and family members during the birth of her first child is she still expected to give gifts on the birth of her second? Or can she just leave it?
Jazakallah
Re: Gift Giving When Baby is Born
For real?
People give gifts TO baby and possibly TO the mother (from her family + in laws). I have never heard of the new mother gifting stuff to her family/ILs when she delivers.
Re: Gift Giving When Baby is Born
I did it for all my kids. It's to show how happy you r for the birth of your child.
Re: Gift Giving When Baby is Born
No. New mothers just take and take and take. They don't give and are not required to give anything.
This is your time to receive.
If you gifted something the first time out of your own happiness...then I guess its up to you if you want to continue that but its not a norm nor is it something I'd want people to get used to.
Mithai is enough.
Re: Gift Giving When Baby is Born
I did it for all my kids. It's to show how happy you r for the birth of your child.
We usually do mithai...pretty boxes with birth announcements.
Re: Gift Giving When Baby is Born
We usually do mithai...pretty boxes with birth announcements.
We did the mithai which we gave out then when anyone came to see the baby we gave unstitched suits to aunties/friends or money to kids.
Re: Gift Giving When Baby is Born
No no no. Where do these customs crop up from
Re: Gift Giving When Baby is Born
Wha.... Why would the mother give out stuff?? Never seen this in my life. The mother gets the money, meethai and suits from other people not the other way around. The max you do is offer meethai when guests come to your place which they eat with the parents, leave empty handed and that's it.
Even among the mega rich I've seen the inlaws splurging on new mom with gold and stuff but never the mom doing the gift giving.
Gift Giving When Baby is Born
I dont plan on gifting my inlaws im not doing them a favour by giving birth inshallah as it will be me doing all the hard work. Mithai is enough for everyone. In our families its usually the baby and mother who are the main focus. Not relatives
Re: Gift Giving When Baby is Born
Hmm. Okay. So this is something that isn't done by majority of Desis? When I had my first baby I didn't think I was supposed to give gifts but people started dropping hints that it would be expected of me to gift jewellery and clothing to baby's popos and others on my husbands side of the family.
I thought it must be the norm so I did it and I was happy to do it too. Now however that I'm expecting my second child (alhumdulillah) I'm getting the same hints again but apparently I'm expected to give gold in terms of jewellery (which I didn't last time. We had a tight budget, I couldn't afford gold but the sets I bought weren't cheapy or trashy at all). So I'm just wondering what to do. Budget this time around is just as tight as last time. Would it look bad if I don't give anything?
Thanks for everyone's input.
Re: Gift Giving When Baby is Born
Hmm. Okay. So this is something that isn't done by majority of Desis? When I had my first baby I didn't think I was supposed to give gifts but people started dropping hints that it would be expected of me to gift jewellery and clothing to baby's popos and others on my husbands side of the family. I thought it must be the norm so I did it and I was happy to do it too. Now however that I'm expecting my second child (alhumdulillah) I'm getting the same hints again but apparently I'm expected to give gold in terms of jewellery (which I didn't last time. We had a tight budget, I couldn't afford gold but the sets I bought weren't cheapy or trashy at all). So I'm just wondering what to do. Budget this time around is just as tight as last time. Would it look bad if I don't give anything? Thanks for everyone's input.
Who is giving out the hints? If it's your inlaws themselves then that's exceptionally greedy behaviour. Don't indulge them in bad habits. You should be saving gold and money for your kids now because they're the priority.
Re: Gift Giving When Baby is Born
How about go cold turkey and not give anyone anything.
Re: Gift Giving When Baby is Born
Hmm. Okay. So this is something that isn't done by majority of Desis? When I had my first baby I didn't think I was supposed to give gifts but people started dropping hints that it would be expected of me to gift jewellery and clothing to baby's popos and others on my husbands side of the family. I thought it must be the norm so I did it and I was happy to do it too. Now however that I'm expecting my second child (alhumdulillah) I'm getting the same hints again but apparently I'm expected to give gold in terms of jewellery (which I didn't last time. We had a tight budget, I couldn't afford gold but the sets I bought weren't cheapy or trashy at all). So I'm just wondering what to do. Budget this time around is just as tight as last time. Would it look bad if I don't give anything? Thanks for everyone's input.
No way. Steel your nerves and stick with mithai and a birth announcement if you want. But no jewelry or suits or anything. Do it once so people can get used to it and stop dropping hints.
YOU are pregnant and have another child as well to take care of. The focus should be only you right now...not pleasing others.
Re: Gift Giving When Baby is Born
It should not be expected from others that you give them something on the birth of your child, it's stressful and tiring as it is. We just did it to show our happiness. But for it to be expected of you to do it is just greed.
Wow what's wrong with people! It's supposed to be the other way around. Gifts for baby and mamma.
Re: Gift Giving When Baby is Born
Wow! Giving gifts to your in laws because YOU had a baby??
What did the in laws gift the new mom and her baby?? What’s wrong with this cultuuuurrreee??? 
Re: Gift Giving When Baby is Born
It's actually not that unusual an idea and no different than gifting the in-laws at a wedding. In my own family, the brother/son gifts his sisters when there is a happy event and we call it naik/naig (sp?).
When my sister had her first child, she and her husband bought jewellery for all of the sisters/sister-in-laws and for the two grandmoms - which truth be told, was a lot, since between both sides she had a combined total of 8 sisters/SILs/jeethanis, plus the two sets for the mothers. What they did differently was that rather than just gift the husband's side of the family, they also gifted the the wife's side of the family.
Obviously everyone may give as much as they can afford (or even not at all) - but its an expression of happiness and rooted in culture. On the flip side, the mom and baby ALSO got jewellery and gifts from all of the relatives - so it's not as if it was one-sided.
Nevertheless, times are changing and the practice isn't as prevalent any more.
Oh, and gitfting to the sisters/mothers was only for the first child - nothing for subsequent children.
Re: Gift Giving When Baby is Born
Pretty much what Sehrysh said. That’s how it is done in my family. And although it’s not a tradition, I did gift my brothers (including BIL) something personalized on the birth of my children and it makes me really happy when I see them using the stuff 
However, if you don’t want to gift them anything, then you shouldn’t - you should only gift if you want to. Anything else is just stupid.
Re: Gift Giving When Baby is Born
Thank you for all the replies and advice. Think I'm just going to leave it this time. It was starting to stress me out. Thanks again guys and please keep me and baby in duas inshallah if you can :) xxx
Re: Gift Giving When Baby is Born
New mothers should be gifted from her family as well as in laws. Honestly she van use something nice for herself and usually people give baby gifts. Just a cake or mihtai for others is sufficient.