Hi Ishi,
Anger management is an important skill for any relationship and I understand why you’re concerned about this. However, there’s a problem with the part of your post that I’ve highlighted above. I think it’s kinda like playing with fire, it’s a bit risky. And here’s why. Most people don’t like being tested. It seems underhanded. Let’s say that you deliberately say/do something to hurt this guy. And he truly gets hurt. Maybe what you say to him…are words that nobody has ever said to him before. And let’s say that he takes it seriously and lashes out at you. Or perhaps he decides to give you the cold shoulder. When you DO end up revealing that you were testing him…how do you think he’d feel? I doubt he’d be amused sweetheart.
I think it might even be a lose-lose situation. Let’s say that he gets extremely angered by you and starts cursing, etc. And he fails your test. Okay, so you decide to drop him then. But let’s say that he passes your test…and you tell him that you were only “testing him.” That sneakiness of it may upset him. It’s better to have direct communication in relationships…and being sneaky is like playing cames…it goes against the idea of being direct. As a result, he may get so turned off and end things. Or he might try to get you back for it…and that could mess things up as well.
And even if you decide that you’ll never let him know that it was a test…what if you anger him to the point that it changes the relationship?
Why don’t you talk to him bout the issue? Ask him how he deals with anger. Ask him what things make him angry (cuz who knows…you may unknowingly do one of those things). Let him know what things bother you about conflicts. For example, you can tell him that you get upset or turned off when people have angry outbursts in public or that you don’t like it when people hold long-term grudges. That way, he’ll know about your dislikes…and if he likes you…he’ll keep these preferences in mind.