“Ghetto Resume”
Shaynana Chiquita “Big Sistuh” Jones
2036 South Side Skreet
Compton, CA 11122
PHONE: Cut off right now but will be back on
by the 15th
OBJECTIVE: To one day forefill my dream of bein’a Soul Train danca and you know just gittin’ my life togetha and stuff. I also hope to one day be the best cosmotologecalist (you know what I mean)
Beauty Speciacalist there is in my hood.
SKILLS: I do hurh and nails in my kitchen and I be using my glitter and weave bonding glue for arts and crafts and stuff.I be doing braids in any texture or color:
synthetic or real human hurh. Black, blonde,
brown, dark brown, dark black, gold blonde, dark gold blonde, red, maroon, blue and rainbo colors
EDUCATION: THE “GET YOURS” HOME CORREPONDENCE COURSE, INC.
BIG MAMA’S HOUSE OF HAIR N’ NAILS N’ FRIED
CHICKEN N’GREENS (gradmuated with honors for the most extenzions done ina year’s time).
WORK EXPERIENCE: Big Daddy’s Motel Motor Lodge Bar & Grill Pool Hall & Bait N’Tackle Shop (January 10, 1998 - January 30, 1998)
Reason for leaving: Big Daddy kept hitting on me.
My Baby’s Daddy Day Care Center Car Wash &
Shoe Repair (Nov.2,1998 -Nov.10, 1998)
Reason for Leaving: They tryed to work a
sistuh to death up in dat mug!
The Golden Tooth Dental & Jewelry Emporium
(Mar. 1, 1998 - Nov. 1,1998)
Reason for Leaving: I loveded this job cause
they gaveded me a free tooth every month and now I can spell my littlest baby’s daddy name but they done up and fired me cause I let one of my homeboys sniff that laughing gas. He just smelt it; he don’t do drugs nomo.
Kim Fung Toi’s Restuarat & Pet Shop
Reason for Leaving: You don’t even wanna
know.
Jimmy’s Jheri Curls & Motor Lube (Nov. 6, 1998 - Nov. 7, 1998)
Reason for Leaving: (Hospitalized for spine
injury when I had slipped on an overflow of
activator).
The Ike Turner Hoe Slap Recovery Center
Jan 5, 1999- Jan 12,1999)
Reason for Leaving: Center closed down cause
Tina Turner done refused Ike’s request to give us a benefit concert and donate the money to Ike.
Ike say Tina done got beside hurself since she a big star.
He say he remember when she was Anna Mae
Bullock from Nut Bush,Tennessee.
References: Darquavious Teshun Johnson (my 1st babies daddy)
Shyquan “Big Boy” Pickens (my 2nd babies
daddy)
Tommy “Slick Tooth” Griffin the third (my 4th babies daddy)
Lawanda Jenkins (from up the skreet)
Hezakiah Clevestus “the playa” Jones (my
mama’s sister’s brother-in-law, uncle half-brother)
The Right Reverend Aliza Benjamin Ineedadrank
O’Grady Pastor of The Greater Mt. Carmel Church of God in Christ Kingdom Hall of Our Lady of Saints Holy Rosary Later Day Seventh Advent Saints Episcapaleen Saidified Non-Denominational Baptist Church, Inc.(a not-for-profit agency).
Note: All time periods unaccounted for above when I wasn’t working is “none of your business but I was not on no welfare cause I done always worked at something nother.”