Ok so now I have your attention 
..one question I would like advice about…How do you tell a person that you are just not into doing gheebat…dat com as I say it:cb:..I havent signed up for it neither would like to but somebaady wont get the hint…I have tried from saying I have decided not to pursue a degree in gheebat (I know I have before..I plead guilty as charged:bummer:…but no more…and its been some time that I havent)..but I dont seem to be getting my point across well…I have tried not returning calls when ofcourse there is steaming news..! ofcourse I want to know at times and its hard to control but as of now Im avoiding the company till I dont have a choice.
So any suggestions…Girls we all do it one way or the other…and ofcourse married men …or more “zanana” married men do it too 
when they wanna be in the LOOP of whats happening in other’s homes.Anyway any suggestions> Im still on the run…and tomorrow I have to meet up with the avoiding party and get bombarded with questions abt my whereabouts and not returning calls:D
Re: ...Gheebat dat caam!!
I know EXACTLY what u mean.... even when one tries to run away from this very grave sin, it haunts u bcoz of the surrounding u r in.
The next time u sit with girls who r backbiting about someone.... just say: "yaar this is gheebat, and its ramadan". If they persist, just say to them "u know for the time us sit here talking bad about someone, u r giving then YOUR hasanats and taking upon YOURSELF their sins, now is that person really worth it?"
and if that doesn't work, walk away... ppl will end up backbiting about u but then they r really doing u a favour by taking your sins upon themselves and giving you their naikya. And if u do all this for the sake of Allah SWT, then inshallah He will reward u for that.... May Allah SWT make things easy 4 u and help all of us to stay well away from this sin. Amin.
Wassalam
Re: ...Gheebat dat caam!!
u r giving them YOUR hasanats and taking upon YOURSELF their sins, now is that person really worth it?"
True, if one doesn't like anyone then why should he give his good deeds to him and take from him bad deeds.
IF they persist in doing it even after you warn them, then ask them if they would like to eat flesh of the same person if he/she dies.
Listening to Gheebat is also bad, so we must either stop the person or leave the place immediately.
Re: …Gheebat dat caam!!
I agree and do know the facts.With me I say it out front and usually the answer I have gotten is..Oh this is not gheebat as “techncally” its gheebat when you are not able to say these things in front of the same person and "they " have the guts to say it and thus its not gheebat…U 'll be amazed how many people I have gotten this Technical definition from after asking them if they r doing “gheebat”. I do ask jokingly as not to put them in serious defence mode:)…and the other side effect is…I turn out to be not so FUN to hang out with as I dont keep up with the social norm 
…
Its just a slippery slope and I hope I stay away from it..to me there is so much more going on in this world then who was wearing what/how they looked/what they said about me blah blah blah…ofcourse emotions get heated up when your own name is involved..but as of now Im over that too:)
Agree:) and as of now we have discussed in a group setting sometime ago but its all washed away yet again:)
Re: ...Gheebat dat caam!!
i ve been practicing two things regularly after marriage
1-Namaz
2- gheebat
so its true dat everything has two sides to it :p
Re: …Gheebat dat caam!!
So we have a confessor amongst us folks:D!! Good for you !!..and btw do u ever find out the second side:faizy:
Re: ...Gheebat dat caam!!
totally unacceptable to have an intent to know what is going on in other family member's or distant relative house hold.
and good couples reenforce this in their own selves, to prevent others and themselves from spying on the private lives of other acquaintances or even close family members.
suspecting something in need of investigation for the safety of a given person
is different. even then, seeking permission from the victim is necessary.
and otherweise, unless someone themselves, discloses a concern or shares a happy or sad news, or relays a personal opinion, no body should probe into matters of other people. that is a sin.
Dushwari
Re: ...Gheebat dat caam!!
Ask
so how did it go? :D
Re: ...Gheebat dat caam!!
Just make an excuse and get out of the company.
Do it enuff times and they will no not to talk bout someone while your there!!
ps i dont think youl remain popular if you dont "mix in" with the girlies!
Re: …Gheebat dat caam!!
I bailed out at the iftari too …used the mian ji sick excuse…which btw was true:halo:…but the friend finally got the idea and was pretty serious while talking as she called…see Im no fun to be with:bummer:
Re: ...Gheebat dat caam!!
buhut acha you went from gheebat to lying
Re: ...Gheebat dat caam!!
buhut acha you went from gheebat to lying
It was true..I didnt lie..My mian ji was unwell..
Re: …Gheebat dat caam!!
Ask99, who cares if u r fun or not… what really matters is that your actions are sure to please your Creator since you are avoiding this grave sin… keep telling yourself, Allah is happy with me so who cares about those who aren’t. 
A suggestion from experience: our family used to hang out with a bunch of families initially who did nothing but backbite about each other! we slowly distanced ourselves from them (we still see them sometimes)… and now we mostly socialise with ppl from durse… there is NO backbiting to be found in these circles! they all humbly meet each other, and love one another for the sake of Allah, and there is no two faced aunties… all are genuinely kind… so yeah, my advise; develop friendship with ppl who are a source of delight for u in this world, and will be benificial for u in the hereafter.
Wassalam