If you have an “issue” you’re dealing with that involves multiple people and it becomes a he-said/she-said type of disagreement, do you get everyone in the room at the same time and make them talk to each other so that everyone is accountable for their words or do you tackle it one-on-one?
Personally, I hate when you get two distinctly different versions of an issue, yet no way of knowing who’s right because the people won’t call each other liars, but their versions of the truth don’t match up.
Re: Getting to the bottom of the truth
I try not to get involved.. its too much headache for me
Re: Getting to the bottom of the truth
Ugh so frustrating, it also happens a lot online due to the exaggerated "telephone" effect.
Re: Getting to the bottom of the truth
he-said, she-said situation is nothing but a mess and I try to avoid it personally but if I have to deal with it to fulfill my professional duties, I bring all the parties in the room at the same time and sort it out. At times its nothing but misunderstanding b/w parties.
Re: Getting to the bottom of the truth
Personally I hate to be in the middle of such ruckus, and no way I am bringing the two parties in the same room to discuss cuz we all know no one states their side of the story without any distortion which causes the two sides to fight even more while your voice is drowning in between the two trying to sustain peace but all it leads to....wait, it's just me, isn't it?
Re: Getting to the bottom of the truth
If they look willing to settle it down - i get in
other wise - i will leave them
Re: Getting to the bottom of the truth
I just side with the party who I like better ... makes life so much easier
Re: Getting to the bottom of the truth
If you have an "issue" you're dealing with that involves multiple people and it becomes a he-said/she-said type of disagreement, do you get everyone in the room at the same time and make them talk to each other so that everyone is accountable for their words or do you tackle it one-on-one?
Personally, I hate when you get two distinctly different versions of an issue, yet no way of knowing who's right because the people won't call each other liars, but their versions of the truth don't match up.
that's the recipe for a brawl in the room...prolly, half the people will come out on stretchers. :D
Re: Getting to the bottom of the truth
I figure out which one is likely to support me in a similar situation and just take their word over the others'.
just kidding.
yes....I totally prefer to put them all in one room and have it out......doesn't always work but I don't like the idea of anyone getting away with saying stuff behind another's back.
the way I look at it.....if you have something to say about someone, you better be able to say it to their face.
Re: Getting to the bottom of the truth
If my name is included or has been used, I will get to the bottom of the truth. If it's between others and they are just venting I won't get involved.
Re: Getting to the bottom of the truth
I try to get individual versions on the story and then make my own mind up on who is to blame. Getting all of them in one place to talk to each other would be a waste of time for me because there's no guarantee that the person(s) on a weak position will not lie right in the face of an innocent one blaming him/her for something s/he never said/did. How do you get to the bottom of that then without letting it get too messy.
Re: Getting to the bottom of the truth
What if it is a he said he said OR she said she said type situation
Re: Getting to the bottom of the truth
Heheh. You believe the one who speaks loudest. :) and the bigmouth who talks without thinking.
Re: Getting to the bottom of the truth
I wouldn't put the people the same room unless both parties agreed. People won't work things out because someone else wants them to.
If you know the people well enough you can usually tell who's telling the truth, who's stretching the truth and who's just throwing sand in your eyes. I know sometimes people are capable of doing things you don't expect them to, but given that you know people well enough (and the situation isn't life or death) it should be pretty straight forward to comprehend how much of what someone is saying is to be trusted.
I try not to get involved, but I am guilty of pulling up a chair and watching the back and forth if its something very very silly and stupid. Personal matters are, however, not my business and I try to steer clear.
Re: Getting to the bottom of the truth
I dont put people in the room cause when it becomes he-said/she-said game, problem is not the issue in hand, problem is relationship between the parties. If the relationship is not fixed, the issue will come back in some other shape and form.
Plus really, I tell the party that I am not the judge in their issues, unless they want me to, in which case they have to honor my verdict, which I know they wont (the party whom I a going to hold responsible is not going to accept my verdict) - so i see no need of involving myself.
Re: Getting to the bottom of the truth
I could care less. What a waste of energy..lol
My name has been used in some real BAD situations and nothing tortures these people more than the fact that I don't care. Because I really don't, I only care about my family truly and they are really good people. That's more than enough, others can say crap and it wouldnt affect me.