I am getting to know someone for marriage purposes, who I met via a online marriage site. He is a great guy, not bad looking, great job and we have alot in common.
The problem is that he comes from a ‘’higher class’’ family. His family are well known, all his siblings have great jobs etc.
My family on the other hand are not like this. Me and my brothers are educated but don’t earn loads and my dad was poorly from a young age so he only has a part time job.
He is always texting me everyday to the point where I am getting bored of him. We are finally meeting this week and I feel sort of below him, if that makes sense? Like his family or himself won’t accept me (I haven’t told him about my family situation).
The thing is, I have alot going for me. I have a great job, I love my religion, never been in a relationship, can cook, been told I am really pretty, slim etc etc. So I am wondering whether I should just get to know someone that I feel more on my level?
He is a decent guy and has treated me with so much respect, I just feel sad that I feel this way.
U mean u r degrading urself from negative thinking? dear dont think like that.
As a muslim u should be proud to be earn by self respect. As fas as concerning the guy, its his problem, u should ask his point of view. R u both judging for marriage purpose, or its one sided?
Exactly. First off, don't assume somebody would be judging you when by their actions they have shown you so much respect. If he doesn't know your family's background, then be honest with him about your concern and see how he would react. Your bored of him because maybe your not putting the same importance on him that he is on you so what do you have to lose? If it makes you nervous or intimated which I totally can relate to well, when the time is right just be honest with him and see where it would go. Don't be afraid of who you are and where you come from! Have more pride in yourself, sometimes opposites attract too. Sometimes they don't, but don't sell yourself short and give him the benefit of the doubt. He seems to like you and sometimes those thing become trivial.
If your bored of him because you don't feel the same way or don't find him interesting, that's different but have more confidence in your self.
I am getting to know someone for marriage purposes, who I met via a online marriage site. He is a great guy, not bad looking, great job and we have alot in common.
The problem is that he comes from a ‘’higher class’’ family. His family are well known, all his siblings have great jobs etc.
My family on the other hand are not like this. Me and my brothers are educated but don’t earn loads and my dad was poorly from a young age so he only has a part time job.
He is always texting me everyday to the point where I am getting bored of him. We are finally meeting this week and I feel sort of below him, if that makes sense? Like his family or himself won’t accept me (I haven’t told him about my family situation).
The thing is, I have alot going for me. I have a great job, I love my religion, never been in a relationship, can cook, been told I am really pretty, slim etc etc. So I am wondering whether I should just get to know someone that I feel more on my level?
He is a decent guy and has treated me with so much respect, I just feel sad that I feel this way.
Don't be self destructive. i know you are proud of yourself and your family, and you said he respects you.. if he truly does he will accept you and your family's situation. Dont turn down something that has potential just because you're unsure how you might be perceived. The worst thing to happen is he will look down on you.. and i don't even see that as a bad thing.. good riddance to someone who would do that.
Getting bored of him is a separate issue.. why do you feel like that?
I keep telling myself but I still not confident. If I got to know him in real life, it'd be different as he'll get to know me. He just puts so much emphasis on his family and you can clearly see he's proud of them, which is great. But I just like the guy for who he is, his family doesn't bother me. :(:(:(
The reason I am bored is because he's been texting non-stop everyday for like 4 weeks and we still haven't met as he's away in a different country at the moment for work. We are meeting some time next week.
I keep telling myself but I still not confident. If I got to know him in real life, it'd be different as he'll get to know me. He just puts so much emphasis on his family and you can clearly see he's proud of them, which is great. But I just like the guy for who he is, his family doesn't bother me. :(:(:(
The reason I am bored is because he's been texting non-stop everyday for like 4 weeks and we still haven't met as he's away in a different country at the moment for work. We are meeting some time next week.
When he talks about his family, he is bragging? What does he say about them? Nothing wrong with showing/sharing that he is proud of the family, as long as it's not bragging about being rich etc.
You havet to talk, text and meet up to get to know the person before marriage...but if you are already bored just from the text, maybe he isn't the rigth guy for you. You should meet with him first though and see if your mood changes about him.
Talk to him face to face. And tell about the thing thats one of the lowest compared to them, like if you have homeless relative or a person in family who doesn't work, or something like that. AND , then see how he reacts to it.
I am getting to know someone for marriage purposes, who I met via a online marriage site. He is a great guy, not bad looking, great job and we have alot in common.
The problem is that he comes from a ‘’higher class’’ family. His family are well known, all his siblings have great jobs etc.
My family on the other hand are not like this. Me and my brothers are educated but don’t earn loads and my dad was poorly from a young age so he only has a part time job.
He is always texting me everyday to the point where I am getting bored of him. We are finally meeting this week and I feel sort of below him, if that makes sense? Like his family or himself won’t accept me (I haven’t told him about my family situation).
The thing is, I have alot going for me. I have a great job, I love my religion, never been in a relationship, can cook, been told I am really pretty, slim etc etc. So I am wondering whether I should just get to know someone that I feel more on my level?
He is a decent guy and has treated me with so much respect, I just feel sad that I feel this way.
OP don't underestimate him (or yourself!). Just because he mentions his family a lot does not mean that he is bragging or looking down in any way. He is probably just really close to them. You do need to make him aware of your family though and if he has an issue with anything you say about them then he clearly isn't the right guy for you. You also mentioned that 4 weeks in and you are bored with him- that should be more concerning at the moment and you should assess whether you can spend your whole life with him or not.
I think you shouldn't let him know that your concerned about what he thinks about your family's background. Just talk about it casually and notice his response.