Re: Getting the grandparents to respect your rules
My MiL will be staying with me and the hubby for a few months this year. She’s currently becoming an Alima from a Arab affiliated institute( apparently it’s the oldest one around) and besides that her social circle is also primarily dars and other religious gatherings etc. while I have no issues with what she learns or how she spends her time, she’s recently become pretty vocal about certain things that she’s learning in school or that some aalim or dars friend will tell her. she’s also fundamentally becoming very unaccepting of other opinions or views. A few key decisions we’ve made regarding our soon to be born daughter have horrified her including our decision not to shave her head. She’s also so distrustful of everything related to USA that she won’t even trust the imans here. Like she wouldn’t even trust the imam to say azaan in her ear. She’s like how do you know he knows what he’s saying!! I think what bothers me more than her belief in these things is the thought that what she is saying is right. To me that’s dangerous. Today she repeated something rather horrific which she heard someone say in a dars. Namely that there " is a thing called female circumcision". And when I told her it was a barbaric custom that she should never mention again she started justifying it and said " I study these things so I know. You don’t know what you are talking about". I felt like screaming at her. I know EXACTLY what you are talking about** you cow**. I know more about FGM than your stupid dars friends will ever know. Yaar these ppl become such mindless drones with these darses. I am dreading her arrival to our place. She’s going to start imposing all her crazy beliefs on us and our kid. What should I do man???
Your frustration is one thing, but why the name calling? You wouldn’t want her calling you a ‘cow’ either
Set boundaries with her ‘politely’ and let her know that religion is a very personal thing, she can believe or do whatever she likes and you will do whatever you believe in. And if she continues on about ‘oh you don’t know anything’ just say it I don’t want to discuss religion, thank you
Is she attending bohri Dars’?