Re: Getting over previous marriage
Running after a 1-year-old requires a lot of energy. Also, the changes that come with pregnancy can leave women feeling insecure about themselves. With a toddler to take care of, you have less quality one-on-one time to spend with each other. Basically, it’s really easy to get stuck in a rut. With that said, maybe you and wife just need some time with each other…like romantic time..sweet gestures …surprises…compliments..etc etc. Maybe she just wants to feel appreciated or validated.
Have you told her that you find it frustrating that she keeps on digging about a topic that you find boring and have no desire to talk about? If not, then you should. I used the word “boring” instead of hurtful because I’m afraid that your wife might associate or twist words like pain or hurtful with you still having residual feelings for your ex and use it against you. It’s better not to give her that ammunition. With that said, when you are dealing with someone who is looking closely for signs of something, you have to be careful about how you word things.
The next time that she asks you questions about your ex, either tell her that you’re not interested in talking about the subject or change the subject and make it more about her…“Who cares about her? I don’t even remember what ex used to do/say/think. I’d rather think about you. How are you? How was your day? What do you want to do tonight? Let’s go out to _________.”
Try the above and if that doesn’t work then try having a direct conversation with her. If that doesn’t work, then you might need to seek counselling or involve her parents and have a family meeting where you all are present together because it’s better to address all her fears/doubts in front of the others. And you can even stress the point that you would not be trying to resolve this issue so openly before everyone if you still harbored romantic feelings for your ex.
But before things get to THAT advanced stage (and hopefully they won’t)…try bonding with your wife. Help her out with your son at home. Make some time for both you and her (without your child, if possible). Change the topic when she asks about your ex and put the focus on her. Do these things first before involving a counselor or even the intervention of family members.