I am a freak. The one I supposedly ‘love’ has hurt me for the upteenth time (its been quite a few days actually). It was a fairly one sided relationship now that I look in retrospective. I know things between me and her are over. And I really dont want to be back with her. So- how do I stop my mind from obsessing over her? Its pathetic really, I realize that. But somehow that is not enough to convince me to get my mind off it.
Really, 20 is just not the age to be developing such obsessions.
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*Originally posted by Mahiwal: *
Really, 20 is just not the age to be developing such obsessions.
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Some would argue that 20 IS the age for developing such obsessions.
Here are few things you can do:
Accept it that it's over for the benefit of you and all parties concerned.
Don't fix blame. Stop debating faults in your mind; it's pointless and you'll endlessly run in circles. Take this as a learning experience and jot down any mistakes you made and tell-tale signs of impending relationship problems to avoid in the future.
Spend time with good friends. Don't talk about the relationship with them but engage in activities that will help you get back in the rhythm of life.
Do something creative that would require focus and concentration. If you can't come up with something, initiate witty discussions in GupShup. :)
Mahiwal,
First of all, I seriously doubt that you are a freak. Obsessing over someone you thought you loved is normal. I agree with LI - get together with good friends, do things that you enjoy, etc.
However, I would offer a little different approach to thinking about her, because you will think about her. Instead of thinking about all the cute things/nice things she did - think of the other things. Think of things that were annoying about her. Think of little things that got on your nerves. No need to trash her to your friends, but in order for you to get over her, keep your mind on those things instead. If nothing else works, and you lay awake at night thinking of her, try to picture her with a runny nose and without any teeth! That should keep your mind off of other things;)
I think it's quite normal to think about somebody constantly after you have broken up with them. Wounds take time to heal and eventually, in time, you will think about her less and less until one day, a whole day will go by without thinking about her. This can take a few days, a few months or even up to a year in some instances depending on how intense the relationship and love was. Key is to keep your mind active and occupied on something else. Take up a new hobby .... travel ... exercise .... anything to keep your mind busy. Those times you do end up thinking about her, remind yourself of how she was not worthy of you. :)
Find someone new to obsess about, you'll get over it so quickly. lol No, that was a joke. It can take a few months, you need redirection, other interests like Mehnaz said. Good luck, dont mope, please!
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*Originally posted by anahndi: *
Instead of thinking about all the cute things/nice things she did - think of the other things. Think of things that were annoying about her. Think of little things that got on your nerves. No need to trash her to your friends, but in order for you to get over her, keep your mind on those things instead. If nothing else works, and you lay awake at night thinking of her, try to picture her with a runny nose and without any teeth! That should keep your mind off of other things;)
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Like anahndi said think of all the reasons you shouldn't be with her instead of reasons for being with her. Remember all the annoying things she did that you had to put up with. Just try to stay busy and you are probably not obsessing, if you think you are then she'll be on your mind. Since you have decided that you don't want anything to do with her anymore, distract yourself for awhile and then move on.
Sorry for the late reply! Thanks for the suggestions guys (or gals for the most part). I have been fairly busy and actually feel better. I dont see why I was so upset initially
Mahiwal, I know how you feel. Some people have a lump of coal in place of a heart. Listen, if you truly believe in your hear of hearts that you were wronged by that person, used, abused, and/or taken advantage of, then please thank Allah mian for giving you the chance to move on. You live, you learn, and then you move on in life, whether it’s concerning a relationship ending or whatnot. Still you will wonder what could have been, what happened, why, etc. but if you really feel that you went over and above for this person while getting nothing or little in return, then you deserve much much better! Know at least this much and console yourself, and I guarantee that you will come across someone in life who will be well-deserving of you, will respect you, and will show you what real love is all about. Never ever lose hope! Also, focus on the things in life that motivate you and throw yourself into them wholeheartedly. It will help keep your mind off of that good-for-nothing individual while at the same time helping regain your self-worth. Everyone deserve happiness, as do you so keep your head up and stay cheerful.
