Getting Married

Lifestyle Relationships
21

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Shak killS: *

I dont live near there, but whenever I go aberdeen, I simple love it. I fell in love in scotland and specially with Aberdeen a distinct city in north!
its not related to the topic though.

I would like to have in a big castle well its a wish though.

but realistically shadi can be good at any place if the arrangements are good enough.

hotels are good all in one package. nikkah can be done on mahndi night at home. or on the wedding day on the spot ;)
[/QUOTE]

TOTALLY OFF TOPIC---sorry HMCQ,

You live in scotland? wow...are there a lot of desis there??? I've always wanted to go there....

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[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by sweetpie: *
Hmcq are you referring to the wedding reception? I would have my wedding reception held at a hotel or a banquet hall, most probably at the Hyatt Regency, Sheraton, Marriott, or Hilton since these hotels in my area have very nice halls. In terms of banquet halls, in my area, the Bridgewater Manor and the Garden Manor in Aberdeen are gorgeous. I would like to hold my mendhi at a smaller place, perhaps a motel hall or a desi restaurant. My parents and I have discussed this issue already so that when the dulha comes along in my life, the research into halls, etc. will already have been done. Saves alot of hassle trying to visit halls and decide on this that and the other thing. Best to get it out of the way in advance.

:Pretty:
[/QUOTE]

You should check out the Hilton by Teaneck. I was there for a friends wedding a couple of years back and it was completely outlandish. Of course it does imply you will be spending tonnes of money.

While we are on the topic (and without creating a seperate thread about it), for the people who are getting married or those who have in the west what does it cost to rent a place and feed people - without adding in the costs of the dresses, the jewelery, the cars, video etc... Just the plain vanilla food + location. Are we talking 5-10K or are we talking 10-50K? And give me the number of guests you assume and locations. I wanna see a per person cost.

23

hmcq - i had mine at Marriott last year and it costed us $50 / person for the banquet hall. It was originally for $55 but since we had more than 300 guests they cut us a break.

We did outside catering through a Pakistani restaurant and it costed us $15 / person.

So it was total of $65 per person which included everything - catering and the hall.

24

My plan was similiar to Fraudz,

I wanted a simple small nikka at home and then a reception in the evening. However, my father in law said that we would have to have the entire barrat at the nikkah....because the people didn't just come for a reception, having 150 plus people at home, in a position to watch the nikka was not doable...so we decided to do the nikkah in the hall. We did have lunch provided daily for both the barrat, our family and friends during the shadi, so the issue was not providing the food because most of the people were over at our house anyways during the brunch time.

I agree with Fraudia's reasoing too. Plus, We also had a large number of people of other faiths and non-desis at the wedding, so the kuthba offered an opportunity for others to learn about islam and marriages. Our friends were really involved in the wedding and had learned alot of desi marriages so they could fully particpate and letting them see the nikkha was important to use too....

One side note, i found out after the shadi my father in law decided last minute he wanted to do the nikkah traditionally, having me in a sepeate room and brought in after the nikkah but my husband (knowing how i wanted to do essentially this but in a small nikkah ceremony in the morning) refused...saying we couldn't change plans at the last minute. Phew..thankfully for us..our programs, stage design and set up was all for a nikkah up on stage...

25

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by hmcq: *

While we are on the topic (and without creating a seperate thread about it), for the people who are getting married or those who have in the west what does it cost to rent a place and feed people - without adding in the costs of the dresses, the jewelery, the cars, video etc... Just the plain vanilla food + location. Are we talking 5-10K or are we talking 10-50K? And give me the number of guests you assume and locations. I wanna see a per person cost.
[/QUOTE]

Honestly, it really depends. We went really simple with my sister's reception..and I mean simple...but simple does not mean cheap/less expensive We had about 375 guests at Payal Banquet Hall. Since it was a Sunday it was $32 per person. .... it was around $13, 000 for the hall alone...

26

hmcq obviously that is going to depend on the place and the menu.

If you want me to break it down you can easily spend $50/person for food, without trying to be lavish, but you can do it for as little as $12/person assuming that the facility allows you to acter from the outside. many hotels do not. If you intend to offer surf and turf as main course, be prepared to shell out more (no pun intended)

Next is the facility cost, you can go as high as you want..rent a museum if you will, but lets stick to your basic banquet halls, hotels etc, and location will dictate costs too. anyways for a downtown hyatt, hilton type place in a major city you can pay close to $80/person, if its in the burbs or smaller city $50/person is a good estimate. the banquet halls could be cheaper but vary a lot in quality and price and I have seen them around $30-$70/person.

you want to do it on a budget? look for community halls and recreation centers, which would be significantly cheaper, and get food catered from some restaurant with which u can strike a deal. In doing so you can cut costs to $35/person. For a recent fund raiser we had the total cost, facilities (mariott) plus food (catered from sabri) was $30/person with an estimate of 300 ppl.

27

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by larki_punjaban: *

Sweetpie, where do u live, u must be rele close to me cus I live pretty close to aberdeen n i used to work in bridgewater
My sister got married in the Garden Manor, its rele beautiful n they're pretty helpful too....

I think u should also add Ramada Inn to ur list, i recently attended a wedding there n the hall was fantastic...for a mehndi i would recommend Chutney Manor, its a pretty decent sized hall but still provides a pretty intimate setting that suits a mehndi...

as for myself...a hall for everything...the nikaah is usually held in the hall rite before the festivities begin
[/QUOTE]

larki_punjaban, I am in Middlesex County, NJ. Speaking of Bridgewater, I visit the Bridgewater Commons Mall very often and love the new Bridgewater Marriott right next to it. Our company's holiday party was held there last year.

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Probably a masjid or at home. I have a hugeeeeeee backyard (Mash'Allah) that can accomodate lotsa ppl if that were to be the case, which I seriously doubt...so everything can be done there, unless the groom disagrees and suggests sometin else. smile

29

Wow In most estimates wedding costs would then be anywhere from 10K-50K for say 200/300 people (about a hundred families)!!! I could get a cheap beamer for that much!

I think if I get married everyone is just coming to the masjid and then my friends can take me out :p or I should go the German way... wedding reception at cost (that should keep the surflous friends and relatives to a minimum).

Fraudia - I actually saw the Natural History Muesum in Chicago been set up for a wedding once when I was there... pretty neat. Personally I would prefer it with living animals (say the San Deigo Zoo or the Orlando Bush Gardens and everyone just shows up in jeans) or perhaps get the imam to ask for the kabool on a roller coaster :p.

Know any planteriums up for hire? Should be fun to be seated in the weather pattern of your liking!

Adding an MC, videoing, sound systems rooms for guests/barat, other logistics stuff and I am guessing the costs runs into the mid 30Ks as a min and thats even before we talk about all the clothes, cards and what not.... I can see why people dont get married or if they do the parents pay for everything!

Overall I am guessing on average the cost per person would be about $100. Now if you could get the same amount of total amount spent on the wedding as a cash deposit for the marriages success which would you choose?

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btw thank you Hinna, Fraudia, Sky, Amelie for the numbers.... if the diamond ring should cost two months salary, it seems like the remaining 10 months will pay for the actual wedding :).

31

same question!!

both punjabi kurian nick make me confuse too :wink: thanks god icons are different

32

Originally posted by hmcq: *
**Wow In most estimates wedding costs would then be anywhere from 10K-50K for say 200/300 people (about a hundred families)!!! I could get a cheap beamer for that much! *

$50K buys you a cheap beamer? hmmm okay.

You can always manage the costs, invite less people, or look for cheaper options. Personally i dont really care if the wedding is at a Hyatt or at a banquet hall. Some people like to blow money at this stuff, I think a better use for that money is to go towards a down payment on the couple's home.

Personally I would prefer it with living animals (say the San Deigo Zoo or the Orlando Bush Gardens and everyone just shows up in jeans) or perhaps get the imam to ask for the kabool on a roller coaster :p.

O yaaar dunn matter where your shaadi is, it will feel like a zoo anyways.

*Know any planteriums up for hire? Should be fun to be seated in the weather pattern of your liking! *

u can rent those too, but i dont think mgmt will like qorma stains on the seats.

*Adding an MC, videoing, sound systems rooms for guests/barat, other logistics stuff and I am guessing the costs runs into the mid 30Ks as a min and thats even before we talk about all the clothes, cards and what not.... *

"we" make it a bigger deal than it is.. who needs a professional MC? same goes for DJ and sound system.. these are what are referred to as "chonchlay" not needed.. u can get some dude to play some music, rent out equipment if you must, a few hundred for the night for the stuff u will need, and I have seen great fun weddings where they did nto have professional sound systems. as far as rooms for guests go, maybe you can pay for the immediate family, but just get ppl a discount rate.. they can pay for themselves. cards are not expensive, again.. people can blow as much money on those as they want..or get simple cards done.

*Now if you could get the same amount of total amount spent on the wedding as a cash deposit for the marriages success which would you choose? *

I would limit the number of guests, be much more budget minded for menu, location etc and save that money.

Because you know why.. No one cares... one of my cousins had a wedding at some top o de line hotel. had these hand made silk and organza pouches with the choharay along with godiva..salmon and stuff for dinner. Yeah it was nice i suppose.. but did i really care that there was a pouch or a godiva or salmon? no. It made him prolly feel good about his party, and it was his business what he spent.

I would rather have that money for some other use anyday.

33

You people are very helpy...I really learn alot from you Guppies. :D

In my opinion, itnee tayyarian karnay kee kiya zaroorat hay....Jummay kee namaz main Nikah hoo aur raat koo dawat hoo aur bas !!!

You know......

JHUT NIKAH TAY PAT WIYAH !!! :biggthumb

I really have believe in this.

34

Re: Getting Married

Doing nikkah at home and shaadi at a professional banquet hall...home is where the heart is and the hall is where the shor is!

35

Re: Getting Married

^ That has a nice ring to it. :biggthumb

The Paagal List!
36

Re: Getting Married

Definitely....islamically..Its Nikkah..and Walima...
its good to give as much sadqa as you can.......and feed the poor...what better way to begin a new beginning..

37

Re: Getting Married

4 yr old thread :konfused: