Ok so this all happened a bit sudden. I was sort of engaged to this guy in Karachi for the past 5 months but since i never liked him , it was always on and off and now everyone is talking about wedding in february.
I live i europe and the wedding will take place in Karachi.
Only 2 months are left and i dont even know what im going to wear. I live in Europe and wont be going to Pakistan before late january, it gives me very little time to prepare.
Is it possible to have your bridal dress made by a designer withing few weeks? ( Im thinking HSY and Maria B)
Any good & creative photographers in Karachi?( I dont want a typical bollywood style photoshoot)
Any reccommended wedding lounges ( not halls)?
Somebody told me about some wedding planners in KHI. Does anyone have any experience with them?
Re: Gettiing married in 2 months!! HELP & ADVICE needed
actually....I had my dresses made by Rani Emaan and @yas in 3 weeks! Maybe they did it that fast cause of connections (my SIL knows @yas, and my fiances khala knows Rani), but it can be done. And trust me, they did a wicked job on my outfits!!! They did not cut any corners at all. You just have to get in there as soon as you can, order the outfit you want, and tell them that you need it by this date, no exceptions. And you need to go back and visit a few times to make sure your work in underway. Good luck!
Re: Gettiing married in 2 months!! HELP & ADVICE needed
I have some connections as well so hopefully that will help when it comes to designers. I will be there 4 weeks before the wedding.
@samali: Thank you for the link
@saimab33: Thanks im gonna check it out.
@ SeraNeedsHelp & PunjabiRose: We got engaged in june this summer. It´s just that we are very different. He´s got serious anger mangament issues and is very stingy. And ofcourse im scared and nervous. I dont have a mother so basically i gotta do everything myself. The time we could have used to get to know each other better, we wasted it in arguing on silly stuff. The peer pressure is just too much and i just had to say yes even though my heart says NO.
I liked some of Maria B´s collection of maxis or A-line: here are some pics :
Re: Gettiing married in 2 months!! HELP & ADVICE needed
The situation doesn’t sound good. Serious anger management issues can break up marriages ad you can peer pressurize them to stay on. You need to think and/or get to know him better before you head off in the designer dress direction.
Maria B’s collection is available at Imani Studio so you can check that out:
Re: Gettiing married in 2 months!! HELP & ADVICE needed
I know and i have a really bad feeling about this marriage. But the problem is that my whole family is involved and according to our pakistani society, im “too old” already and now it´s time ( Im in my late 20s) . So this is my “last chance” or else i will end up with some divorced old man with kids. My family say that my “fiance” has a good family background, he´s educated and bla bla and im the one being silly. So let´s see what happens.
Re: Gettiing married in 2 months!! HELP & ADVICE needed
I’m sorry hun… that sounds very difficult…especially since you do not have mother. So I honestly can not imagine. And it is true, that the pressure can get too much…especially from family members. InshAllah I hope that everything works out for you. It is not a good sign that you argued with your fiance alot …and I am sure it was not “silly” stuff if you are telling us that he has serious anger management issues and is very stingy. You are probably a smart girl and were probably just standing up for what you thought was right at the time and he would get mad and it would turn into an argument. I am only guessing. I have no idea of the actual situation. But my main point is - do not be too harsh on yourself. Take it easy. And go into this marriage with a positive attitude despite the fact that your heart says NO to the marriage. That is a very sad way to begin things and although this time period before the shaadi is distracting due to all the kaam that needs to be done, know that reality will hit afterwards. So focus on getting to know him now and working on your communication with him. Maybe once there is a bond between you guys and he opens up to you (and vice versa) you could let him know (kindly) that his anger can scare you. As for the stingy part.. maybe there is a reason behind it? Maybe there is not. Maybe once inshAllah the bond between you grows, the stinginess will fade. You never know.
But please try to stay positive about the shaadi … and if you can not. Then PLEASE be strong - break it off… it is only the engagement… a broken engagement is better than a bad and broken marriage. I can NOT emphasize that more. Go to your father… what father wants to see his daughter scared and unhappy??? Why would you want to spend the rest of your life that way or have to endure/be scared of his anger???
It is not your last chance..that is just what society wants you to believe. Just because you are in your late 20’s does not mean your expiration date for getting married has come up. Just because a guy looks good on paper (educated, good family, blah blah blah) doesn’t necessarily mean that they are a good for YOU. It is old school pakistani mentalities that you are falling victim too. Just do not let that happen. Get married… but for all the right reasons.
As I said - inshAllah I hope it all works out for you. Stay strong and please stay true to YOUR HEART.
p.s. I luv both outfits…and I am thinking of having either an A-line or Maxi for my Walima as well
But as the above poster said - there are more important things for you to think about than dresses.
Re: Gettiing married in 2 months!! HELP & ADVICE needed
I know and i have a really bad feeling about this marriage. But the problem is that my whole family is involved and according to our pakistani society, im "too old" already and now it´s time ( Im in my late 20s) . So this is my "last chance" or else i will end up with some divorced old man with kids. My family say that my "fiance" has a good family background, he´s educated and bla bla and im the one being silly. So let´s see what happens.
Thanks for the link :)
A bad feeling is usually a bad feeling for a reason...ignoring it is a bad idea. So do not.
Late 20s is nothing...I know people who have gotten married in their 30s with kids to people who have never been married before. These days, people waiting a bit to get married is not uncommon. One of my very close friends is a make up artist and she tells me that a growing number of her clients nowadays are women in late 20s and early 30s. This shows not only that there are women out there in your age group that are single but they're also getting married. :)
Do Istikhara of course. Remember one thing, you can walk away from an engagement with a few people getting mad and shedding some tears - no permanent damage. But a divorce (khuda na khwasta) is not that easy. Its a legal, emotional and religious tie that takes much more to break.
Re: Gettiing married in 2 months!! HELP & ADVICE needed
Late 20s is nothing...I know people who have gotten married in their 30s with kids to people who have never been married before. These days, people waiting a bit to get married is not uncommon. One of my very close friends is a make up artist and she tells me that a growing number of her clients nowadays are women in late 20s and early 30s. This shows not only that there are women out there in your age group that are single but they're also getting married. :)
Do Istikhara of course. Remember one thing, you can walk away from an engagement with a few people getting mad and shedding some tears - no permanent damage. But a divorce (khuda na khwasta) is not that easy. Its a legal, emotional and religious tie that takes much more to break.
Re: Gettiing married in 2 months!! HELP & ADVICE needed
Thank you so much for your post! I totally agree with you and so did my dad until this last year , after i had rejected 20 something rishtas. He says im being too picky ( i can be ) and i know there are girls my age who are still unmarried. My dad asked me many times if i liked someone but i have never i met the kind of guy i was looking. So then my dad and his family took incharge and now i just have to do what he decides because according to him he has given enough time and choices ( and he has).
As you said, i have to be positive and God knows im really trying. Im having panick attacks already and im just really scared. I talk to my finace once a week because its " too expensive " for him to call me. So we exchange emails and chat on msn but it´s not the same. I hope it all works out for the best.
And you too good luck :)
I'm sorry hun.... that sounds very difficult...especially since you do not have mother. So I honestly can not imagine. And it is true, that the pressure can get too much...especially from family members. InshAllah I hope that everything works out for you. It is not a good sign that you argued with your fiance alot ...and I am sure it was not "silly" stuff if you are telling us that he has serious anger management issues and is very stingy. You are probably a smart girl and were probably just standing up for what you thought was right at the time and he would get mad and it would turn into an argument. I am only guessing. I have no idea of the actual situation. But my main point is - do not be too harsh on yourself. Take it easy. And go into this marriage with a positive attitude despite the fact that your heart says NO to the marriage. That is a very sad way to begin things and although this time period before the shaadi is distracting due to all the kaam that needs to be done, know that reality will hit afterwards. So focus on getting to know him now and working on your communication with him. Maybe once there is a bond between you guys and he opens up to you (and vice versa) you could let him know (kindly) that his anger can scare you. As for the stingy part.. maybe there is a reason behind it? Maybe there is not. Maybe once inshAllah the bond between you grows, the stinginess will fade. You never know.
But please try to stay positive about the shaadi .... and if you can not. Then PLEASE be strong - break it off... it is only the engagement.... a broken engagement is better than a bad and broken marriage. I can NOT emphasize that more. Go to your father... what father wants to see his daughter scared and unhappy???? Why would you want to spend the rest of your life that way or have to endure/be scared of his anger???
It is not your last chance..that is just what society wants you to believe. Just because you are in your late 20's does not mean your expiration date for getting married has come up. Just because a guy looks good on paper (educated, good family, blah blah blah) doesn't necessarily mean that they are a good for YOU. It is old school pakistani mentalities that you are falling victim too. Just do not let that happen. Get married.... but for all the right reasons.
As I said - inshAllah I hope it all works out for you. Stay strong and please stay true to YOUR HEART.
p.s. I luv both outfits...and I am thinking of having either an A-line or Maxi for my Walima as well :)
But as the above poster said - there are more important things for you to think about than dresses.
Re: Gettiing married in 2 months!! HELP & ADVICE needed
Don't give up your own mind simply to please everyone else. In the end it will be you alone dealing with life with this man. If it is not a decision you are wiling to take responsibility for, don't go through with it. All this talk of weddings is used to distract girls from the seriousness of the choices being made for them.
Okay fine, be less picky, but why marry someone you actively dislike AND someone raised in a different part of the world, which will make compatibility even more difficult. It's incredibly disrespectful to the sacred institution of marriage and irresponsible as an adult.
