Get married or no?

The question is, would you go forward with the marriage?

Here’s the situation:

You are engaged to person. You have been engaged for a year. The family initially loved you, were thrilled that you decided to marry into their family. They also liked your family a lot. Over the course of a year, things started deteriorating in your relationship with your future mother-in-law. All of a sudden she has nothing nice to say about you and refuses to say anything to you. You are clueless as to why. The father still adores you, your fiancee still adores you, but your MIL hates you. She says very openly to her child that she hopes you two end up divorced, that is how bad it is.

She says that you will control your spouse, and that you have bad intentions. All of this she made up out of thin air because nothing backs it. Afterall, the father still adores you as does your fiancee’s siblings and your fiancee.

Do you break off the engagement or continue? What is wrong with the MIL here? Why the complete change in attitude? You have tried speaking to her but she refuses to speak with you, or even with your parents. Only the father will talk to you and he cannot explain his wife’s behavior either. You are still happy with your fiancee.

This isnt about me, as I am not engaged, but about someone I know.

Thank you.

Re: Get married or no?

I do not see any reason to call off a marriage just because MIL is suddenly saying some things. I think the girl needs to make an effort in reaching out to her and try to get her in confidence that she is not what her MIL is accusing her to be. Moreover, try to tell her that her FIL and fiancé are happy with her and make sure they are present when she has that conversation.

Re: Get married or no?

Is the girl expected to live in a joint family with the MIL when the marriage is done?

Re: Get married or no?

Actually I am talking about a guy. The guy plans to have his parents live with him, not his fiancee’s parents.

Re: Get married or no?

I'd still get married. I'd make the siblings and father acknowledge that the mother is being unreasonable and as such I wouldn't want to have anything to do with her in the future unless she apologizes. I wouldn't stop my wife from having a relationship with her mother but would request that if all the MIL does is talk $hit about me, to stop seeing her.

In addition, I wouldn't want my kids to have anything to do with her either, unless she acknowledges that she's a git and apologizes.

Re: Get married or no?

Get married anyway

Re: Get married or no?

lolz

Re: Get married or no?

if things are alreayd like this wat would happen later on.....

but if ur happy with the guyy...i dun see y not

Re: Get married or no?

don't get married. I know i'm a coward!

Re: Get married or no?

'Get married or no'

No.

Re: Get married or no?

Oh wait a minute, munni, the person you're talking about is a guy? well then yeah, if he cares about his fiancee he should go through with the wedding. afterall, he won't have to live with his mother-in-law.

Re: Get married or no?

If he's truly a man, he'll try to set things right before the wedding takes place. I know it may not be feasible for him to talk to his mil directly but since he has a good relationship with the fil, he should take advantage of that...ask the guy whats her problem? did I do something wrong? why doesnt she like me and what will that dislike do to the relationship that I'm trying to develop with my new wife? get it all out in the open, thats the best thing whether ya'll realize it or not...

Re: Get married or no?

MILs suck big time! if I were him, i'd beat the hell outta MIL- ask her to shut tha f up or maybe slap her once or twice or even worse hit her with her belan. This post itself is sooo fobish and un-Islamic. I tell ya guys- this is the story of Munni and Munna engagement. She is the bride here- she is seeking advice from guppies telling her story albeit being anonymous.

Re: Get married or no?

Nice one quas, but no, it isnt about me, but about someone I know.

Mamaof3, apparently hes tried finding out what issues she has with him, but again, she wont tell anyone, which is why the father doesnt know what to tell him either.

Re: Get married or no?

Munni DONT!!! dont do it yaar

Re: Get married or no?

Sorry to know if someone has to even go through this.. I am a victim of the same.. my elder brother went almost crazy at the attitude of his MIL.. they somehow try to intervene when it aint necessary.