Say you suspect that you or your spouse may have a gene for a disorder than can affect the health and lifestyle of your potential child. Would you go for genetic counselling, or would you just leave it on Allah to bring you the best.
If yes, when would you go for it? Before getting married ie during that engagement period, or before deciding to have a child? Do you think it would be awkward to bring up this topic to the spouse in an arranged marriage situation, or would it be just awkward anyways. I also assume that genetic counselling, no one is paying for it, and it’s coming from your own pocket, and it can’t be cheap. Knowing that, would you still leave it up to chance or be like, no, we have to get genetic counselling.
Also, this goes for after conceiving when you want to diagnose for things like Trisomy 21 (Down’s syndrome). Would you do it or not?
If I were aware of genetic disorders that run in our family, I would definitely handle it before marriage. If we find out during pregnancy, I would like to know the risks before making any decisions.
TLK - one aspect genetic counseling is when a couple meet with a geneticist to see the likelyhood their children would have the specific genetic disorder that runs in their family..
If I were aware of a genetic disorder that was prevalant in my family then I would seek medical advise and take that advise into consideration when planning a family....but I don't know if it would completely deter me from having children of my own....I think I would leave it upto Allah.
I knew someone who had some disease that could be passed on to his children and because of it he never got married. In my opinion it is better to not bring a soul into this world when you know there is a genetic issue.
Discussing these things before marriage would be looked down upon by most of our desi families but I firmly believe that it should not be. You will take care of your child with any disability or medical condition the best you can till you are alive but what will happen to these innocent lives after the parents are gone , this thought is very disturbing for me therefore I believe if possible it's better to learn about anything wrong in your body that can be passed on to children.
* evaluating family history and medical records
* ordering genetic tests
* evaluating the results of this investigation
* helping parents understand and reach decisions about what to do next
A lot of couples knowing that still want to have their own child, and they say, risk be damned, I will still love and adore that child and try to give them the best life possible.
Very true. If a family is willing to marry again and again within themselves and increase the chances of something go wrong even more, why would our desi society be ok with discussing what can go wrong if there is something present?
But how soon do you think this should happen? I know of a couple that decided to get a couple of blood tests performed, and turned out the guy was a thalassemia carrier, unknown to him, while the girl wasn’t. She said that she’s thankful that she wasn’t, but this was before they even got engaged. I found that weird, but then again the entire situation with them was weird, but that’s besides the point.
Personally, I think if I am aware of such a problem, I would go for it, and then figure out what my options were. If the chances were low, I probably would bring my own child into this world, otherwise I’d go for another option. I already know that just by my family history, the poor kid will be susceptible to other much more common genetic diseases but to make his/her life even more miserable would be too selfish .
Say you suspect that you or your spouse may have a gene for a disorder than can affect the health and lifestyle of your potential child. Would you go for genetic counselling, or would you just leave it on Allah to bring you the best.
I'd insist on genetic counselling even before engagement.. Even if I/he didn't suspect a specific disorder but his or my parents/grandparents/great grand-parents were first cousins and so on I'd still insist.. I think in some countries genetic counselling is mandatory..
You can trust in Allah but at the same time it was said we should 'tie our camel' first (ie take precautions).. Those who say 'just leave it to Allah' why don't they try driving down the wrong side of the motorway at 100mph and put their trust in Allah to save them..
