So I was born and raised in America but have visited Pakistan a lot and will be getting married there. However, I am hijabi as is most of my immediate family. I want a gender segregated event in Pakistan but over there everyone takes pictures of the bride and there are mostly male wait staffs. Do you guys think people will refrain from taking pictures of bride and guests if we include a small card in the invitation about how many guests and bride are hijabis so to please request their wish to not take pics?
And do many catering companies have female wait staffs? We are in the very early stages of planning so I want to sort all this out asap.
The wedding will likely be in Islamabad though i honestly want a desitnation wedding in kashmir so I wont have to invite the whole world- as very few people will actually make the effort to travel all the way to Kahmir for me- only the people I care about will which are the only people I want at my wedding! I am seriously wanting to ask my parents if this will be feasible lol. It would be so much fun to have a big family vacation and wedding all in one! (Totally off topic whoops lol)
Re: Gender segregated wedding in Pkaistan- possible?
So do you ever leave the house, go to a mall, go to restaurants, went to school college etc. Was there segregation there?
Um no. I just dont want to wear hijab on my wedding. I really want to be able to dress up, wear a jhummar and all that jazz so I would prefer having one segregated function at least. What's your problem?
Re: Gender segregated wedding in Pkaistan- possible?
So I was born and raised in America but have visited Pakistan a lot and will be getting married there. However, I am hijabi as is most of my immediate family. I want a gender segregated event in Pakistan but over there everyone takes pictures of the bride and there are mostly male wait staffs. Do you guys think people will refrain from taking pictures of bride and guests if we include a small card in the invitation about how many guests and bride are hijabis so to please request their wish to not take pics?
And do many catering companies have female wait staffs? We are in the very early stages of planning so I want to sort all this out asap.
The wedding will likely be in Islamabad though i honestly want a desitnation wedding in kashmir so I wont have to invite the whole world- as very few people will actually make the effort to travel all the way to Kahmir for me- only the people I care about will which are the only people I want at my wedding! I am seriously wanting to ask my parents if this will be feasible lol. It would be so much fun to have a big family vacation and wedding all in one! (Totally off topic whoops lol)
First of all, many congrats on this great occassion!
To answer your basic questions, I'm sure you can have it done. Infact you can do whatever the way you like. From what I've seen nowadays you can get it done most simply, most religous OR the entirely other way i.e. most lavish, most liberal. Best thing about Pakistan.
Its your wedding so do whichever the way it suits you. Good luck! :)
Re: Gender segregated wedding in Pkaistan- possible?
First of all, many congrats on this great occassion!
To answer your basic questions, I'm sure you can have it done. Infact you can do whatever the way you like. From what I've seen nowadays you can get it done most simply, most religous OR the entirely other way i.e. most lavish, most liberal. Best thing about Pakistan.
Its your wedding so do whichever the way it suits you. Good luck! :)
Thanks! I just wasn't sure because while segregated weddings are common in America, I havent heard of one in Pakistan so wasn't sure how respectful people would be about the whole non-photography things.
Re: Gender segregated wedding in Pkaistan- possible?
You can have segregated wedding there
But I don't think they have female staff
Hire your own camera men and have pics as you prefer
Thats a bit contradicting as I cannot have a segregated wedding with male waiters... But thanks for the help nevertheless! And yes, I will be hiring a female photographer
Re: Gender segregated wedding in Pkaistan- possible?
Advanced notified the waiters that observe parda and they can make arrangements about the food arrangement
Attended one in Pakistan and they just came in quick to give / refill food only but that was because the head of the catering knew was segregated and was taking care of it
But photo taking part is hard , people there random take pics and share and "privacy" concept isnt there
Re: Gender segregated wedding in Pkaistan- possible?
Advanced notified the waiters that observe parda and they can make arrangements about the food arrangement
Attended one in Pakistan and they just came in quick to give / refill food only but that was because the head of the catering knew was segregated and was taking care of it
But photo taking part is hard , people there random take pics and share and "privacy" concept isnt there
Yup that last part is my concern. At my cousin's wedding, the second she stepped in everyone was taking pics left and right. Including little kids with giant iPads (wth)! Once we make the guest list I will decide. If we can keep it small and only family and friends I know and trust, I will opt to segregate. If not, I guess I will just have to wear hijab :/
Re: Gender segregated wedding in Pkaistan- possible?
Congratulations! Weddings in Pakistan are great fun, but I’d agree with the other posters - I doubt you’ll be able to get all the aunties to respect your wishes of no photography.
Unless you have a small-ish guest list with people that you know will listen.
Your idea of Kashmir wedding sounds beautiful. I’m imagining an outdoor kind of wedding, with white canopy and beautiful flowers and pastel colours, close friends and family. Perfect. What’s your vision?
It’s worth speaking to your parents - you don’t get if you don’t ask! Maybe they’ll agree to a wedding in Kashmir with other events in Islamabad?
Re: Gender segregated wedding in Pkaistan- possible?
Congratulations! Weddings in Pakistan are great fun, but I’d agree with the other posters - I doubt you’ll be able to get all the aunties to respect your wishes of no photography.
Unless you have a small-ish guest list with people that you know will listen.
Your idea of Kashmir wedding sounds beautiful. I’m imagining an outdoor kind of wedding, with white canopy and beautiful flowers and pastel colours, close friends and family. Perfect. What’s your vision?
It’s worth speaking to your parents - you don’t get if you don’t ask! Maybe they’ll agree to a wedding in Kashmir with other events in Islamabad?
I will be having one dholki in America as I want some event where all my friend can attend. No mehndi. My vision for kashmir is an outdoor nikkah/baraat function. Exactly like you said, light colors and lots of flowers and only close family.
And then ideally I would like a segregated valima to which all the girls can dress up, hair and all, as most of my in-laws side are hijabi too. The segregated event would likely have to be indoors, for ladies side at the very least. But I am not sure of any of the logistics as I have only vacationed to Kashmir and don't know anyone living there personally. But I also know my family in Pakistan has a lot of connections and could pull it off if my parents agree.
Re: Gender segregated wedding in Pkaistan- possible?
Do you guys think people will refrain from taking pictures of bride and guests if we include a small card in the invitation about how many guests and bride are hijabis so to please request their wish to not take pics?
No, you will not be able stop 100% of the people from taking pics. The ONLY way to make sure that no one takes a picture is to check each guest before they walk in to make sure no one has a camera phone, iPad, camera etc.
Even if the guests did not pics of you directly, there is no guarantee that you will not be visible in the background when they are taking pics of each other.
Re: Gender segregated wedding in Pkaistan- possible?
Congratulations:)
Segregated weddings in Pakistan are too common and you will not have any issues with it.
Have attended segregated weddings of people who are not even purdah observing but they do it because of cultural norms and family traditions. Entire one hall within the venue for males and one hall for females. You can also have partition made within the same hall.
You can also avail ladies wait staff, in Karachi at least almost every good wedding banquet offers ladies wait staff services, they charge you bit more than they charge for the male staff. i am sure there are plenty in Islamabad too.
As for the guests taking pics, you cant really stop them. One thing i don't understand is that if you are hiring female photographer even in that case,chances are that the back end working on your photos and the development process will be done by the male so if you are not too much concerned about that, then why bother about some females from the guests taking your pics?
Re: Gender segregated wedding in Pkaistan- possible?
Congratulations:)
As for the guests taking pics, you cant really stop them. One thing i don't understand is that if you are hiring female photographer even in that case,chances are that the back end working on your photos and the development process will be done by the male so if you are not too much concerned about that, then why bother about some females from the guests taking your pics?
Female photographers know how to edit pics as well. Not sure who told you only males can edit pictures. I have contacted 3 female photographers and all said their females can edit and they can ensure no male will see my pro pics. And I will bother about females taking my pics because if its someone I dont know then I do not trust them to not post it on the internet or to show others.
I will sit down and make a guest list, have a talk with parents and then decide. Thanks to everyone for the help!
Re: Gender segregated wedding in Pkaistan- possible?
This all sounds wonderful. Just remember, these are but minor details in the grand scheme of things. However the day pans out, you will look and feel wonderful and have a beautiful time.
Definitely get your opinions known to your parents, but try not to stress over stuff too much. If it’s starting to feel like a fight, go with the flow and things may surprise you!
Good luck :)
Re: Gender segregated wedding in Pkaistan- possible?
Having a segregated wedding is not at all difficult. I attended such a wedding in Pakistan last year. The only issue is that the people may not respect your wish and take pictures. Where I live(not Pakistan) , they hire a lady who stays at the entrance and keeps all cellphones, ipads etc safely. The guests take their phones when they leave or if they want to make a call. It's quite common and nobody minds it.
Re: Gender segregated wedding in Pkaistan- possible?
Female photographers know how to edit pics as well. Not sure who told you only males can edit pictures. I have contacted 3 female photographers and all said their females can edit and they can ensure no male will see my pro pics. And I will bother about females taking my pics because if its someone I dont know then I do not trust them to not post it on the internet or to show others.
I will sit down and make a guest list, have a talk with parents and then decide. Thanks to everyone for the help!
i know females can edit and develop pics. i said chances are that it will be done by male as most of these studios outsource the project to female photographers for taking the pics only and the back end work is done by their regular staff which consist of males.
But that's good that you have found the photographer who has ensured you that no male will do work on your pics.