Hey everyone…I am currently expecting my first child inshahllah in Jan. Since the beginning of my pregnancy I never really cared about the gender of my baby and always prayed to Allah swt to give me a healthy happy baby..
We just found out that we are having a girl and I am soooooooo thrilled and excited!
On the other hand, my in laws are not so happy. My husbands older bro has a 2 yr old daughter so my mother in law is disappointed cuz “there is already a girl in the family” and she wanted a boy.
I am so hurt and feel so sad and I cannot even talk to my husband cuz he’s just gna be like “plz understand where she is coming from”
Why are girls so unwanted?? I dnt get it!! Plz help me and give me some positive words as I am so upset about it.
They all love my husbands older brothers daughter so much and I am soooooooo surprised they reacted the way they did! She even refused to come to America to be near me when I deliver!!
this is natural, varsace, (longing for a baby boy in grand mothers) and this shall pass. A new soul has its own way of commanding the love it deserves. So shall your baby too. Dont let this feel you bad and down.
She even refused to come to America to be near me when I deliver!!
I wouldn't want someone like THAT around me during one of the most stressful/painful times of my life. And I also wouldn't feel comfortable with her being around my daughter. If she wants to take out her immature tantrum out on anyone.....it should be her son (your husband) who plays a greater role in determining the sex of the the child. If mommy-in-law does begrudgingly decide to come to Amreeka....do enroll her in a sex education class, ASAP.
As for gender disappointment in general...I think the parents themselves can go through that as well. I don't have any kids...but I've always wanted a daugther...and I know I'd be disappointed if I didn't have one.
You should just threaten to not let them see the grandchild ever. Tell them to fix up. And your hubby
These aren't the same medieval times we live in anymore
Your MIL would have exactly the same feelings like you when she was going through the same stage of her life, that you are going through. BUT unfortunately one gives up against social pressure when one's own thought process is not firm, and also when one is not oneself at the receiving end (victim). At this age, one can't change such mentality of one's MIL (she should have placed herself in your position). Better to be firm in what you believe and constantly remind your heart that you won't let this jahil mentality influence you, otherwise your thought process won't be able to resist the same social pressure and you would end up becoming a MIL non different than your own MIL (Allah Forbid).
im expecting too n as soon as my MIL got the news she was like "mera pota" & "chand sa beta" but after my husband strongly expressed his wish for a daughter she stopped... but i know she'll be really disappointed if i dont deliver a boy coz im the eldest bahoo
dont be upset i can understand ur feelings last year i was in the same situation was expecting my first baby n mum in law wanted it b boy but v were expecting girl i was afraid tht me n huby ddint tell any1 v were always like its surprize but trust me when my baby came she was disappointed at first but the moment she saw her she was happy n now she thank ALLAH 4 blessing us wth daughter bc my mum in law never liked girls n she herself has no daughter even my FIL has no sis so she is the 1st one my mun in law apoligized 2 me n my family 4 her rude attitiude n she realized all her mistakes when she started feeling 4 my daughter n she was like agr koi meri poti k sath asa kary tu mujhe kasay laga ga n mei ne tum logo ko kitni hurt kya so u dont worry inshahallah when baby vl come everything vl b fne n as long as u n ur huby r happy nothing else matter enjoy ur pregnacy n may ALLAH bless u wth a healthy baby AMEEN n may ALLAH soften ur mum in law's heart :)
First of all...I think everyone knows how much Islam dislikes these archaic notions of girl versus boy.
Second, its very unfortunate your MIL feels this way...for her. Not for you...for her. She will miss the chance of being close to her grand child and that is her misfortune. I see how my mom is with all of her grand kids. She has a special bond with each one and has been there for ALL. She is so proud of being an active nani in their lives...so its sad your MIL won't get that.
Third, you do NOT need any sort of negativity around you right now. You don't want to deliver knowing the people around you already disapprove of your baby for absolutely no reason. The last thing you should be concerned with is this drama.
Fourth, as long as your husband is on your side..........I wouldn't care AT ALL about what she says. Be happy, show her you're excited and NOTHING will deter you from having a healthy pregnancy and loving your child...girl or boy. Smile in her face and show her you don't care if she never shows up.
i dont think there is anything you can do about it other than not worrying about it, let the time take care of it. Im sure your MIL's heart will melt as soon as she sees the baby i'A
As some one already said above, its not easy to change someones mindset at this age.