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Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask: “Got enough air in there?”
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Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers.
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Make racecar noises when anyone gets on or off.
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Whistle the first seven notes of ‘It’s a Small World’ incessantly.
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Sell Girl Scout cookies.
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On a long ride, crash from side to side as if you’re on rough seas.
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Shave. (Especially if you’re a woman.)
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Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, “Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!”
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Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
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Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
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When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
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Lean over to another passenger and whisper: “Noogie patrol coming!”
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Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you, “Admiral”.
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On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “plink” at the bottom.
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One word: Flatulence!
I prefer thumb impression…©