In a veterinarian’s waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
Door of a plastic surgeon’s office: “Hello. Can we pick your nose?” 
A sign on the back shield of a car: DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT OR SHOULD I DRIVE BY AGAIN?
On a Plumbers truck: “We repair what your husband fixed.”
Pizza shop slogan: “7 days without pizza makes one weak.”
At a towing company: “We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.”
On a maternity room door: “Push. Push. Push.”
At an optometrist’s office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”
In a restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up.”
In the front yard of a funeral home: “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”
On a California freeway: Fine for Littering
In a Kansas City oculist’s office: Broken lenses duplicated here
In a barbershop: During vacation of owner, a competent hair stylist will be here
At a bookstore: Rare, out-of-print, and nonexistent books
NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
Seen at a Railway Station: Aana free, jaana free, Pakdhe gaye to khana free
Sign at a barber’s saloon in Delhi: We need your heads to run our business
Notice at a barber’s shop: Haircut for Rs 15/- . Children for Rs 10/-
Notice in the toilet: This urinal is out of order - Kindly use the floor below.
Sign in a restaurant: All drinking water in this establishment has been personally passed by the manager
Seen on a bulletin board: Sucess is relative. More the success, more the relatives.
Sign on a famous beauty parlour window: Don’t whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your Grandmother.
