An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by the two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.
The boy asked his father, “What is this, Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is!”
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up between them and entered the small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24 year old woman stepped out. The father turned to his son and said, “Go get your mother.”
Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they’d never seen before. Each bought one.
The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”
“Why not?”
“I took one bite and went blind for half a minute.”
…
A little girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. “Mommy,” she said, “can we leave now?”
“No” her mother replied.
“Well, I think I’m gonna be sick, Momma!”
“Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and then behind a bush.”
After about 60 seconds the little girl returned to her seat.
“Were you sick?” her mom asked.
“Yes.”
“How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?”
“I didn’t have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next to the front door that says, ‘For the Sick’.”
Over drinks one evening two gentleman were having a discussion about the charms, or lack there-of of the actress Sharon Stone.
“I say she’s highly over-rated,” said one "Take away her eyes, her lips, her legs and that figure, and what have ya got ?
“My wife” said the other with a heavy sigh.
