Inspired once again by Third String's recent thread, a question came to mind:
Do you believe it's appropriate or otherwise to wear makeup to a funeral? And, yes, I am aware that funeral customs vary across cultures to where even the deceased may be sporting makeup. However, I'm referring to our Desi culture. Nowadays you see and hear of women wearing mascara and eyeliner and a hint of lipstick to the funerals of even close family members. Their argument might be that the makeup uplifts their spirits during such a difficult time, or perhaps that the deceased loved one would not have wanted them to look bleary-eyed and down in the dumps, or maybe it's their way of showing their respects. I guess I'm just old-fashioned, but I see it as unnecessary. What are you thoughts on the matter?
Also, I grew up hearing from my mom that meetha (dessert) should never be taken to a house that is in mourning because desserts are associated with happiness. Again, I am aware that in other cultures it's is quite normal to have pies and cakes after a funeral. And, yes, I do know that sweet foods can be comforting. But I'm talking about our culture where I've always heard otherwise. Not too long ago I was surprised to hear that attendees were bringing sweet dishes to a family that was in mourning. My mom said that now people expect meetha, too. Since when yo???? Why have any expectations at all?
Discuss.
I would wear makeup. Obviously not circus attraction contouring makeup but maybe some kajal and mascara at most. I don’t think that less prominent makeup is that big of a deal since it is well…less prominent.
An amusing fact is that my nani was very fashion obsessed, did not give a f*ck, and dressed to the 9’s even at funerals.
Why talk about funerals RV. Its a dreadful topic. 
Anyhow, I would say you can choose wutever you want. If you are wearing obviously aint gona cry.
And those who are really in shock wouldnt notice.
And those who’ll notice means they are already not in shock, so it shouldnt matter.
I grew up with similar views, that you don’t wear make up to a funeral. I dunno as long as it’s not loud I think it’s fine. I think makeup is such a part of some ladies daily routine that it’s just like showering…deodorant routine. I think it’s more important for someone to show up for funeral and give condolences and help where needed. Also a more annoying thing I have seen is when people come for the Jinaza or prayers/khatham they are so loud and giggling and chatting. I understand people happen to see each other after a long time but they need to be respectful and mindful of their behavior.
Sid,
I know that it’s a morbid topic, but it’s still inevitable fact of life. I know of two cases; one where a girl had eyeliner and lipstick on for the funeral of her naani. And another where a girl work makeup at the funeral of an immediate family member. Yeah, I know that it will vary from person to person. But my personal stance is that when you’ve lost a close loved one, I just don’t see how makeup would even be something to be conscious about. But that’s just my opinion.
I don’t see anything wrong with light makeup at a funeral but that’s because to me it’s part of my daily routine, like brushing my hair.. I wouldn’t turn up to a funeral with unkempt hair (or unbrushed teeth lol).. To me personally makeup is just part of my personal grooming..
Nobody suggested that one should dial it down to a state that is wholly unpresentable (unkempt, disheveled).
I don’t care, it don’t matter.
Yea, I was raised with the idea that extravagant make-up and outfits were not appropriate and a sign of disrespect to the deceased and their family at a funeral.
I always go no make-up or very light.
My mom always just brings regular dinner food over. That’s pretty much it, no desserts or anything fancy.
It’s a personal choice…unfortunately I have attended several funerals in my life and the last thought I could have is to wear makeup.
Also the sweet foods thing that your mum said makes sense to me.
RV, wearing a bit of base or just light makeup is not that much more than brushing their hair to many women.. I don’t really get why one would be acceptable and fine but not the other.. Also ‘presentable’ is subjective..
Just leave them be..
I wouldn’t judge a woman for wearing old clothes or not brushing her hair or whatever because at the end of the day everyone deals with these situations differently.. I can also see why it might cathartic for some.. It’s not always about wanting to look ‘pretty’ or not caring..
Can we all talk about the last segment of movie ‘wedding crashers’ where will ferrell teach them to crash the funeral for one reason only. So um yea guess the outlook is kinda important regardless. No?
And here we go again.. All my posts for the last 15 minutes revolve around makeup
So, I feel similarly about wearing makeup to funerals. I understand jiska dukh uska dukh but you can at least tone yourself down. It’s the most respectful thing to do. For some women makeup is simply a habit. For others it helps their confidence. Not everyone is comfortable in their own skin, so it might be that they’re not intentionally being disrespectful.