Everything was going well for me for the past 2 weeks. I got an offer for a new job, my mental and physical state of mind/body was in a positive framework and I was starting to fix all the other issues in my life, ie: divorce, social, financial, etc. Yesterday it all came crashing down. The job offer I received I have not heard from the recruiter and they said they would email it to me by Friday to sign but they are not returning my emails or calls so I think they either rescinded the offer or found someone better. My ex wife is making things much more challenging for me in terms of receiving my fair share of equitable income distribution; I am willing to just leave it but it is a large chunk of change and that is also frustrating me. I was also recently using a dating app and I fell hard for this one girl and nothing came into fruition. Maybe I need to take it more slow and perhaps I rushed but these cycles of happiness and depression take a toll on me and if I had to describe my life now it is bipolar to the tee. I have days when everything is good and then days when everything just crashes. If I have learnt anything its that God can give and take back within a split second and not to take anything for granted. Easier said than done. I am just sick of my life now, I just want to have a final blueprint and follow it. I feel horrible venting on this forum; I am probably the exact definition of a broken record. Perhaps this is my destiny; live a life of suffering and perhaps the afterlife will reward me...
Oh woe is me. Nobody suffers in life except me.
Go to your local library and check out Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad, Day. If it’s too much trouble, I’ll give you a synopsis. From the moment Alexander wakes up, one thing after another goes wrong. He tells himself and others that he will move to Australia because he believes bad days don’t occur in that part of the world. Since this is a picture book and not a chapter book, this means that Alex has to grow up fast. He does that in about 24 hours. He learns that bad days are an inevitable part of life. Rejection is part and parcel of the job and rishta hunting game. You are not the only person to face this because even people are who are more eligible and qualified than you are getting rejected right, left, and center. Divorces are messy business, but you decided to end the marriage so now you have to face the consequences of that decision so what is so shocking about this? You might feel a teensy weensy bit bad about venting here but I’m sure that you don’t feel too too awful about your venting otherwise you wouldn’t have ranted in the first place. You’re not the only broken record here. Until you accept that we cannot give you novel advice each time you feel the victim of another bad day, the suggestions you receive will also sound like a broken record.
Stop complaining. I don’t mean not to take it off your chest by writing here. All I mean is that stop feeling so miserable irrespective of what your circumstances are. The way you tackle a problem psychologically and emotionally formulates your upcoming circumstances. Maybe that job was not good for you. Actually it really was not good for your. Who knows? Maybe your parents need you more around them. Maybe you need to give them more time which you might not jave been able to while working on a job? Or there could be any other reason. Maybe its a test you’re going through. The right attitude will decide whether you’ve passed it or not. Maybe you were too lost in material world and this is God’s way of makingnyou more spiritual, who knows? Nothing is a punishment until you start perceiving it as such. Just take it as a test & do your best to pass it.
Been there, done that, still going through it. I totally get it.
going from one broken record to another - just breathe and try to push through. There are times I don’t even want to get up from bed ( and I don’t actually, I stay there for as long as damn well feel like it ).
about dating - please do not rush into anything. that will be a very big mistake on your part, no matter the situation. I don’t know your entire back story, but regardless, take it slow, trust me on that one. you will feel lonely from time to time, and that’s normal, not the greatest feeling, but that doesn’t mean you let your vulnerability get the best of you.
about your equitable income distribution, maybe talk to lawyers about that on if you feel like she is trying to take advantage of you. Jobs come and go, no one knows when they will be let go or if something else happens to that stream of income. finding a good job is a full time job in itself. keep applying anywhere and everywhere. weed out the ones that aren’t applicable to you, but even if you don’t have enough of the required education/education listed on a job posting, still apply ! don’t let that be a deterrence, because they will still take you into consideration. you won’t lose anything, but may gain an interview and eventually a job offer iA
Do any of you feel anxiety when you go in public or agoraphobia? I had to go to drop something off last night and I live in a busy metro area in the US and I ended up in an area with a lot of clubs and bars. There were people dressed nicely and I fell into a panic and had a minor anxiety attack where I could not get out of my car for a half hour just having this fear to go out. When I did go out I was constantly observing people to see if they were observing me. I think I’ve always had this feeling; much of it is to do with the fact that when I was in my 20s I never got to enjoy life and was very isolated and am in that same state now. Have any of you been in that situation? You see people and they seem like they are enjoying life and you wish you had that too? I literally feel my life crumbling beneath me with all these issues but I am going to spend the next week creating a blueprint or plan for the next ten years of my life and hopefully everything pans out. Everyday is a struggle; my life is biploar; I have good days and bad but mostly bad. I am weathering the storm and trying my best and am hopeful. I have a lot of resources and venting on this forum helps as well.
It’s a part of life up and down comoing the real life of a person just try your hard work and don’t give up you will get the success in your life..
I never wanted to reveal my issues on a forum like this but since this is an anonymous platform I will go out and admit to the issues lingering me. I know for a fact the type of reaction I will get. I feel horrible I did these things but I guess at the same time I need some real life criticism for what I did. I know I will be seen as a creep and my ability to garner any sympathy will falter but I just need to get this out of my system and hopefully I can finally move on, even if I do not deserve to be treated with respect based off my actions. You can decide. When I was 16 I used to chat with this girl online and she set me up to say some derogatory and sexual messages. She then used those messages to tell people how much of a creep and sleazeball I was. We were from the same community and word spread like wildfire and since then my reputation in that community never left me; to this day I am still seen as a creep and lost a lot of good friends. During the later part of high school I used to chat with girls on this platform called Desi Planet. It was used back in the early 2000’s. I was a nerd and was a loner so it was a way for me to talk to people. When I would meet up with the girls they would shrug me off and talk bad about me since I was a nerd, kind of chubby and then labelled as a creep. I never lied about myself or who I was. In college I was completely alone and did the same thing using Facebook and same thing happened to me. I finally moved to a new area in the 2010’s and started fresh. I was able to make a few friends, get my life on track but a few things happened medically and socially that made me become lonely again. I then started catfishing a few times. I felt horrible and I got caught and in the area I am in now I am seen as a catfish and where I used to live the people there know people where I am now.
I know I have social, mental health and a slew of issues. Maybe that is why I developed medical issues, marital issues, financial, workplace and legal issues. Maybe I do not deserve to be in my current place. There are people in impoverished countries dying to be here. I am blessed to be in a developed country but I have never taken advantage of it. My only plan is to really fix myself and start fresh with a new identity and perspective on life. I know for a fact I will get a lot of negative feedback but I deserve it. I am admitting I am flawed and I should not even be entitled to post on here or to interact with anyone. I appreciate everyone’s assistance in my previous posts and issues. This was a way for me to get rid of the burden on my shoulders but also to realize that specifically catfishing someone is not right and it is not a victimless crime. I do however get upset I was treated negatively based off my looks when I did not catfish. I was recently reading about someone named Umar Patel but his situation was worse. I never solicited money or sex from any of these people. My reputation has been damaged to the nth degree. People in my family do not want to associate with me and I have lost many friends and when I meet new people they distance themselves from me. I only have 2 choices now, either end up 6 feet under or face the fact and admit to my mistakes and hopefully move on and become a better person. I am ready for the latter and I am ready for the onslaught of negative comments-I clearly deserve them.
that umar patel guy was a predator, have you ever gone to prison?
Ok who else got the above text in a PM from OP?
Why would you copy it in a PM and send seperately when you posted here as well? 
Sorry I didn’t know if people actively monitored the forums or vice versa. I did not go to prison.
all of this happened due to sexual texts and catfishing??