Letter from Men to Women
FROM MEN TO WOMEN
GENERAL DISCLAIMER FOR ANY WIVES OR GIRLFRIENDS WHO HAPPEN UPON A COPY OF THIS:
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The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location.
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Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume that I will come home with the wrong thing.
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When watching TV hugging is always fine because I can still see the screen. Kissing should only be done during
timeouts and commercials. Questions should also be limited to this period as you stand a much better chance of
getting an immediate response. -
When we are watching your show and I change the channels during a commercial do not hassle me that they are
over to change the channel back. I always know when the timing is right. Also, when we are channel surfing do not ask
me to go back, there was a good reason why I skipped it. -
If you need help with the laundry, I am more than willing to carry it from the bedroom to the washer. In my mind this
is half the chore and I am now free to return to the couch. -
If I mention that a male friend of mine is allowed to do something it is not necessary for you to call his wife/girlfriend
to discuss it. -
If you don’t like the way I am driving close your eyes. And I would appreciate it if you would refrain from making that
reverse inhaling alarmed noise. I haven’t hit anything yet and if I do it will be your fault. -
I go clothes shopping to buy, never to look.
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Just tell me what you want me to wear before I get dressed. And remember that this takes me less than ten
minutes no matter what the occasion is. After all I am getting dressed, not getting ready. -
Don’t ask me if I prefer one outfit over another or if a certain accessory should be worn or not. I consider this a no
win situation and would rather just wait for you to get dressed while watching TV. -
If you want me to put the seat down when I am finished then you should leave the seat up when you are finished.
It’s only fair. And stop giving me a hard time about missing the bowl. What do you expect from an organ that has a
brain of its own. -
I will cook anything as long as it is on the BBQ.
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Yelling to me across the house sounds exactly like stadium crowd background noise to me. I am not ignoring you.
