Re: Friendships after Marriage...
I guess some wives just dont see me as a suitable friend for a married man lol...
Re: Friendships after Marriage...
Aly Sam So certain friends you'd want them not to keep...would a reasonable personality be someone who is disciplined and responsilbe...would you prefer them to leave their other friends behind?...
..
I am talking about few extremes if any that he may have hung out with. As it stands he has couple of "creepy" mates....but I dont stop him from seeing them. The rest are OK.
BTW It does not appear that you would be unsuitable friend for married man! Why would you say that?
Re: Friendships after Marriage...
Pheonix51... That sounds reasonable...as in there are a lot of thing that i think would change...as in you couldnt go out together that much especially late at night...but you know an invite to watch the game doesnt seem like much...its almost as if ties are broken...
In terms of the threat thing...thats a bit shallow isnt it and very insecure...
Yes, the threat thing is very insecure and usually only occurs where there is lack of trust...I guess to some extent, single people are assumed to be naturally 'on the pull' and might inadvertantly be flirtatious...perhaps such behaviour makes for uncomfortable company if it's directed at one's spouse...
My ex for example, had a problem with some of his friends being around me, not because he didn't trust me but because he didn't trust them...after all he knew the way they thought/talked about other women...whether single or not and he wasn't to keen on me becoming the topic of one their inappropriate dicussions...
Other friends however, were never a problem to be around because he knew they were good, trustworthy characters...
Re: Friendships after Marriage...
Then he doesnt really respect them very much...you should trust your friends to understand their boundaries...
As it happens with my best friends i am also their girlfriends favourite friend...i make effort with them cos they are with my friends...im a flirty guy generally but i understand the idea of a boundary and my friends value and trust me enough to appreciate that...iv shared a room with one of my friends girls before when i couldnt get home...
I guess with my friends that havent stayed in touch its either down to lack of time or maybe they didnt appreciate my understanding of boundaries...they arent really friends if you cant trust them or they dont trust you...
Re: Friendships after Marriage...
Though i didn't spend much time with my Wife but being married i would say that my friends felt that i didn't spend much time with them like before... There is always a little bit change in you after getting married. It's normal
Re: Friendships after Marriage...
Yes, it's very much a matter of respect...mutual respect at that...
He had a vast array of friends from all walks of life and the beauty of individuality is, that they were all unique in their values and opinions...
Where he might have respected their ways/morals in certain matters, he didn't in others...and vice versa...
Although some of his friends thought it ok to make risque remarks about the girlfriends/wives of the others, there were others who didn't...so those who were likely to be what he and I deemed disrespectful, didn't get to associate with me unecessarily...
It was out of respect for me that he was this way with certain individuals...and he was honest about it with them too...they actually understood...we had differing opinions on propriety and that was that...
Yes there are boundaries, but we can't always dictate these to others, people have freedom of choice in certain matters and often these choices aren't always in alignment with one's own...this doesn't mean that we must disown them as friends, but instead simply agree to disagree...for me, it's that kind of honesty which my strongest friendships are built upon...