teggy, very real life question. the issue is what kind of relationship people want to build that friendship on and to what extent it does not conflict with the limits of personal respect and modesty. especially for women to be relying on a male friend, no matter how sure both are that their link is simply that of a friend, if the unspoken remains... it is very hard and when it is known in not the best and soon enough situation, then the relationship of even friendship suffers. it is a very sticky situation even for the most liberal and reasonablly conservative individual.
the solution is: being clear in demarcation. and if mutual liking is developing, or is felt as is felt in a romantic relationship, and if the friendship was and is built on care for each other, and comfort level is comfortable, then what does not give?!
Even if you *think *that you yourself can maintain a friendship with someone of the opposite sex....we can't speak for the other person now can we. From my experience, somewhere down the road one person will cave in and they'll want something more then just friendship.
Someone can say that "oh Pakistan is not following true Islam, we should be even more strict" but obviously many of the rules in that society ARE based on Islam...and when these rules seem to cause the opposite of their objective, it makes one wonder..
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i had really bad experiences in pakistani bazaars- lets not go there, its after returning from pakistan that i started wearing my hijab lol how bad is that..but no i dont classify pakistan as a 'islam following' country, imp london is more islamic then pakistan... most people in pakistan follow culture & tradition and label it with the deen tag..
ok back to the topic, guys & girls can never be close friends without one party wanting more
no,i don't think a guy and a girl can just be friends.it is quite rare.i believe it usually so happens that,either the girl or the guy,or in some cases both of them start having feelings for each other.
As Bano QudsiYa once wrote ‘ There is nothing like friendship between a male and a female , the attachment / feeling we are concerned here will either grow and becomes love or it vanishes very soon’….
From personal experience, I'd say they can't.. because like someone mentioned even if you yourself won't fall for your friend and will only think of them as just a "friend", you can't exactly speak for them.
My personal experiences is that it not always true. Many factors will intervene. In Pakistan all my life I went to co-ed schools , college and University, had lots of female friends in each class/grade but I do not even remember the names of any of them.
Same with my other classmates and friends. There were very few who got romantically involved. I know lots of desi and ABCD's very few ended up romantically involved with friends of opposite sex.
I guess I am a few of the lucky ones who have a female friend with whom I can share anything and everything. Our friendship goes more than 2 decades. We are friends since before the time we were married. both of us are happily married, both of us are in love with our spouses. And I really respect my wife and her husband for understanding the kind of friendship we have.
Nothing is impossible. Its all in the head and maturity of the people. The way I see it, a friend is anyone whom I clikc with, have common interest in, have lots to talk about/discuss....who u have fun with...doesn't have to be "romantic". I have a guy friend who I talk to/act the same way as with some of my girl friends. And before we both got married to our respective spouses we used to be on the lookout to hook each other up...hehe back in college. But the point is, you can maintain friendship if there were no hidden intentions up front.
Back in school, I was very close to this one Flip guy, and he was gay. It was crazy how he was more feminine than me...as I was very much a tomboy back then. Its all about personalities.
I have also seen situations where in the friendship, the guy started liking the girl...girl didnt like him that way...it was weird for some time......but they got past it. They were such good friends they didn't wanna throw it away. eventually the guy found some other gal n got engaged...and both remained very good friends....so no i think its possible for guy/gal to be good friends.
I guess a very healthy level of friendship is possible. I had many male friends in college but I am no longer in communication with them. Not that my husband would mind, but I don’t have the need. I have seen many married women and men have close friendships with the opposite sex. My rule is if you cannot invite that friend to your home or talk with that friend without the awareness of your spouse, there is an obvious problem. Like for instance, I never have to check if the “situation” is right if I call any girl friend of mine or worry what her husband will think.
Personally, I don’t believe in having complex or undefined relationships. Having friends of the opposite gender is a bit complex.
b4 i used 2 think dat guyz n gals can b frends me n qamar were like bst mtes i used 2 tel him evrythin absouletly evrythin den we fel in luv so u can not b jus mtes wid a guy dat thing is always der dat hes a guy lol
