ok i jus need big help .. i hve 3 friends i knw frm middle skool tymes lots of gossip lots of gud n bad tymes lots of friends thru out da years now da problem is ..ke milna nai hota lekin fone mei kabhie kabhie baat hoti hai.. if i dnt call dey wud never one of dem calls n jus talks abt how her day was.. wat she did.. n talks abt her b.f n i jus listen listen n listen
m tried of makin ppl’s problem mine.. shud i leve her? .. another thing da other 2 i jus went out wid after so long n it felt nice buh sumwhere deep inside i also felt dat why am i heer? i wanted to get away ..
i wanna b wid dem n i dnt at da same tyme.. wat is dis?? lol wat do i want i dnt even noe.. wat shud i do guppiess plzz bring it on wid ur comments n let me no if dis is normal or abnormal?? lol mujhe kuchh samaj nai aa raha i wanna disappear hve a fresh start n den wen mei soch leti hoon karne ke liye phir i jus dntt ..
Middle school was a** LONG** time ago. People's personalities change and develop considerably over the years. And you will find that with some of your childhood friends, you will be able to rekindle the friendship and also be able to maintain it. And unfortunately with other childhood friends, you will find that they have changed so much over the years that you have VERY LITTLE in common with them any more (although you may have been best buds in middle school).
Friendship is supposed to be MUTUAL. It's not a friendship if only one person is doing all the talking. If you ask your friend about her life...then she should have the COURTESY to ask you about your life. These are the basics of HEALTHY COMMUNICATION.
So, here is what you do. The next time your friend decides to go on and on about her life.....when she stops for a break...gently tell her, "I enjoy listening to you talk about your life and concerns and I don't mind helping at all. But I feel as if I haven't had the chance to talk about me....and I've noticed that I haven't even been asked about how things are going on my end." If she's a sincere friend, she'll realize her mistake and be more considerate in the future. Sometimes we get so caught up in our own stories, we forget to ask how other are doing.
^So, give your friend a hint about her behavior. And if she doesn't make the effort to listen to you, or contact you.........then JUST KEEP A DISTANCE FROM HER. Friendship is a two way street....and if you constantly feel like you're a therapist in the relationship, then either get paid for your time......or keep a distance and find more worthy friends.
thanks for da advice n yah i guess u are right.. i shud let her noe n see if she makes a effort buh i meen at is it dat i want to b wid dem n i dnt .. why cant i make up my mind?
thanks for da advice n yah i guess u are right.. i shud let her noe n see if she makes a effort buh i meen at is it dat i want to b wid dem n i dnt .. why cant i make up my mind?
Don't make it so difficult for yourself. Some days you will enjoy spending time with your mom, sister, dad, cousins, husband.........and other days you're gonna wish that they would leave you alone OR you're going to wish to take a break from them. It's the same thing with friends. Sometimes friends can get annoying as well. EVERYONE can be annoying. And all relationships need space and distance to some extent.
You don't HAVE to keep in touch with your friend all the time. You don't HAVE to spend a long time with them. When you feel like spending time with them....then do it. And when you don't feel like seeing them.....then DON'T. And if you're hanging out with them and feel bored/tired....make an excuse and leave early.
i was more or less in a smilimar situation as you. although they were my mates rom uni. we all met thru uni and hung out ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!! but then i dunno i just got bored of them. made new mates but then felt seculded from the old ones.
now that we've all graduated they've neva made the effort to get in contact wit me and i neither have i cos frankly i was sick off making the first move. so i just thought stuff it!!!
ppl change but then they blame you for "being distant" when it was me who made all the effort to talk to them.
stay in contact wit dem but keep it to a limit. am sure u've got other mates!!!