Re: Friends and business competition
While you helped your friend get her foot in the door, it doesn’t just end there. Much of her success depends upon her own capabilities and that’s a humbling reminder. Same goes for you, Chameli. People may have helped you in various ways, but your own efforts determine your staying power.
When this woman told you that she would grab you and learn from you, she was being clear about her intentions. So, you don’t need to wonder what she’s up to, as she’s told you. At least she’s honest enough to admit that, cuz not everybody does so.
I think it’s better if you guys avoid discussing details about work. Today you feel that she should have shared details about the program. And if she had done that, then in the future she might feel that you owe her for this favor. You both will just end up going back and forth like this with one person being let down and the other being on their guard, and it’s hard to maintain a friendship when there’s competition.
So, something’s gotta change. You either tell her that you prefer not to bring work into your friendship and set boundaries, or you develop a tougher skin and accept that not everyone in your life will be courteous enough to return the favors you did them. Sometimes it’s because they just don’t realize or care to, and other times some majooori or circumstance prevents them. Since it’s easier for us to control ourselves than others, an adjustment in our expectations can reduce the anxiety. If you feel that you’re being taken advantage of, then limit how much information you want to share, but don’t burn bridges.
Thanks you so much for putting things into perspective for me!!! you are right, she is there today cuz she is a smart woman…I guess my expectations level is too high to the relationships I have with ppl around me.
Reha, thanks, yeah I need to stop being too nice especially when entering the business world on my own!!