Sister says brother says there is nothing he can do and she wants to know what they should do.
He told her that he has found out that the other sister of his is dating an Indian, non muslim, apparently a relationship which will go no where … both work at the same place, sometimes meeting up and traveling to and out of work together and sometimes having dinner/lunch together , messaging/talking late into the night and in the early hours in the morning etc , knows for sure that they are deeply involved emotionally and as he says she is losing her morals, common sense and is changing and drifting away from her family and bro/sis. Doesn’t even know will she move away from her faith or will she get physically involved.
On the other hand he can’t tell all this to his parents for his mum is a traditional one and might do something drastic, sending her to Pakistan and marrying her off. He himself is having the turmoil in his head as his dad has passed away. He can’t confront either for he did once asked about the new jacket she was wearing on her birthday, to which she lied that she bought it herself but that jacket was not of girls and it wasn’t her type, it was of those which are wore by men, maybe it was of his? He says she won’t tell.
Now he sees marriage as a solution as she is over mid twenties, he wants to hint to his mum that she should think about marriage of this sister but he himself doesn’t know how as he himself is not married and her mum might go after him instead so he told all this to his younger sister who now has asked me how to. How to start the talk of marriage, of her/his sister?
I think mom's are pretty good at handling such situations so I think it's better to be honest with mom so she is aware of everything and can handle situation accordingly. I think he should slowly bring up the subject and also have a chat with his sister about her intentions and what their expectations are.
My mom is simple and traditional too but if this was the case with one of my sis, firstly i myself am very frank with my sisters and i dont have to go thru any channel just to speak to her. 2ndly I can at least give hints to mom like i have a feeling sis is taking too much interest in this guy . we should think abt marrying her off to a good pakistani boy. Mom may not say anything at that time but i m sure she ll start keeping eye on her daughter’s activities. Moms are too smart believe me, within days she ll find out everything :halo:
He should talk to his sister and knock some sense in her. If she is bold enough to do all this, she might as well be ready to have a good talk on this matter with her bro.
Don't involve the mother just as yet. If she still insists on marrying/having a relationship with this guy then there is only so much you can do. You can get her married without her consent, that's no way. It's her life at the end of the day and she is no 18 yrs old. If she is not understanding what's right for her then let her be. If you dont approve of what she does, you have every right to cut ties with her but getting her married just like that is of no use and no right way of going about this situation.
If mother still steers the ship of this family then she should be made aware of the situation and guided toward the solution too. If brother calls the shots in the family then he should be man enough to have an open and frank discussion with her sister.
The worst thing he can do is making his mum push her into marriage. If she truly loves this man she will be put in a problematic situation. If he’s worried his mum will send her to pakistan, obviously its not the best thing to do as she seems to be backwards. He should talk to his sister as advice her as much as he can, maybe even arrange to meet the guy and try talking to him. She’s over 25,
No he shouldn’t and allah will punish him for cutting ties with her, it’s not something a good brother should do.
This is clear from the hadith of the prophet (S.A.W.), which is reported by Imams Bukhari and Muslim,* “One will not enter paradise if he/she cuts off relations with relatives.”
Talk with the sister that I already know about it. Confront her when she is out with him if she denies it. Girls it's hard to get back the izaat once it's lost the parents give their daughter's freedom that doesn't mean the take advantage of it. Realize it before it's too late.
LOL ^Screw izzat, izzat ruins lives, girls get killed over it. Izzat is a loads of bullocks, and it only applies to the female members. I could have a man whore of a son and my izzat wont be affected according to you.
I eventually married my bengali husband, my dad agrees with it now. Sure according to you my family may have lost izzat when people saw us dating, but what about now huh? We're married and have 2 beautiful children.
All that should be concerned with is trying to keep her on the right path and avoiding premarital relations with this guy. And even is she does its between her and God. He should talk to the guy for his own piece of mind, maybe this guy is interested in becoming a muslim.
Okay....this is what you do. You need some fire, two garlands, and some pundits. But only if astrological signs are most harmonious will the affair be auspicious.
No, seriously....the sister needs to be confronted. This is a very delicate and sensitive situation. So, if the brother knows for sure that she's dating a Hindu, then he needs to calmly discuss the matter with her from an Islamic perspective and the various consequences of this affair. Being harsh may cause her to rebel. If that doesn't work, then get mom involved, can't hide this from her. As far as bringing up the issue of marriage with is concerned, he can even ask his sister the general question, "So what kind of guy would you want to marry? What qualities are you looking for?"
Her reaction and response to the question can give an idea as to how she feels about the issue of marriage and what is going on with her. This question can lead to a discussion of other relevant concerns.
Now that sister says that brother says they have hugged/hold hands etc. And she doesn’t know that the brother has found out, that’s why he is reluctant to talk to her and has told the other sister.
He says his mum trust her and believe she is “naik”. He can’t stand any of her lies/denial anymore and no longer trust her and has decided to cut ties with her emotionally. He has given up and is just waiting someone from the community who will see them together and will tell his mum. The other sister is worried about “izzat” but can’t confront her for she fears what she might do. She too is now saying that nothing can be done as she has distant herself far too much from the family and is no longer in her morals/senses.